Smoke.shop.near me

Hey Trip Keeper! I’m a big fan of your videos and watch them almost every night. I hope the pain I have suffered for these past couple years will give your viewers some entertainment. It will at least help me if I get to hear my story on your channel!
Before I begin, this report is going to be super long because it documents the past few agonizing years addicted to this. I also want to say a few things about Kratom that you need to know. Kratom is definitely a dangerous drug that gets you high. No, it’s not dangerous like Oxys, Percs, or whatever kind of hard drug is out there. It’s dangerous in the sense of its subtlety. You wouldn’t expect a legal drug that you can buy at a headshop to be this controlling over your everyday life. I’m not saying that you will get addicted like me, but there’s definitely a possibility and I’m writing this story in hopes to keep you away from this devil of a drug.
Another thing I have to say is that there is a common misconception that Kratom doesn’t get you high, that it’s just a mood boost or even nothing at all. Now that might be true for some people, but for me, I can definitely feel the euphoria and stimulation. If you take high doses like me, you will feel high trust me (I’m high as fuck right now typing this). There are also people who can get hepatotoxicity from it. Usually you would know if you had this if it happens right after you start. Jaundice is the main thing you will notice appearance-wise if this were to happen to you. Luckily, this hasn’t happened to me and doesn’t really happen to that many people. I think people are afraid of this phenomenon because there are a lot of stories on the internet of people describing how they got hepatotoxicity from Kratom. The reason behind this, in my opinion, is because what happened to them is so crazy that they need to make sure all of the internet needs to know. That’s just what I believe.
The last thing I want to say about Kratom is something positive? I think Kratom can be very beneficial to people who are going through opioid, alcohol, or benzo withdrawal. I think it can help you get off of that much more dangerous substance and put you on something that is still bad, but not nearly as bad as those. The risk in that though is that if you were addicted to the previous substance, you will 100% be addicted to Kratom. Like I said though, out of those four, Kratom is the least harmful out of the other drugs you could be taking. So the only reason I would recommend this drug would be for people already suffering through horrible addictions and withdrawals. I’ve read lots of stories of opioid addicts switching to Kratom and it being a lifesaver for them.
Now that I explained my views on the substance, let me take you on a journey through my ongoing abusive relationship with Kratom.
Before I talk about how I got to using it, I want to tell you what or WHO influenced me to do it in the first place. I had a friend in high school who I’m no longer friends with and I’m glad I’m not. He was addicted to Kratom and we were all doing drugs at that time, so I wasn’t really concerned with his use (come to think of it now though, I’m probably more addicted than he ever was). I remember in one of the classes I had with him, he would bring a bottle of water and put a shit ton of kratom powder in it, mix it up, and then drink it (so nasty, the taste is awful). No one questioned him drinking a green liquid because he was a health nut vegan who would lie and say it was spirulina if anyone asked.
I was never interested in taking it after watching him drink those disgusting green waters, but one day we were at a head shop and he was going to buy some. I said fuck it and said I’ll try some. He was super excited that I wanted to try it, but looking back now, if he was anything close to a good friend, he should’ve said “no”.
I remember the Kratom clear as day, it was a tiny bottle with fifteen capsules inside. It was pretty expensive too, but it was not an extract. I think it was just more potent than normal Kratom. He gave me seven and he took eight. I was excited to be high and see what he was raving about this whole time. We were hanging out for a little while after this ingestion and I wasn’t feeling anything, so I called bs on his claims, but then, I went home and I immediately felt it. I was so stimulated and euphoric, it felt almost like an adderall. I think the reason I didn’t feel it was because I was out and about walking and shit. When I laid down on my bed, I felt so good and I knew I wanted to do this again.
Since I’m already dragging the rising actions of this long story, I’ll just skip ahead to how I get to the level I am at today.
So basically the first time I tried Kratom that I described previously was in 2017. I didn’t really use Kratom that much up until 2019. I would take it two to three times a week and I used it only for when I was going out or going somewhere I didn’t feel like going. I do remember one time I took Kratom before I went to my girlfriend’s house and decided to take ten grams of it beforehand and my regular dosage, mind you, was five to six grams. I was so messed up at her house and it was so hard for me to hide it, but I did. I was shaking, my vision was wobbling so bad and I had major anxiety. Trying to talk to her dad was like speaking in front of thousands of people in an audience, I was that nervous. Luckily though, it wore off in a couple hours and I was dressed nice, so hey people take drugs don’t dress nice! (sarcasm).
Skipping to the summer of 2019 is when the repeated use took place. I have a tiresome job and wanted the day to be more fun. I decided I would take Kratom halfway through my day to get me through the last couple hours. Honestly remembering this moment of my Kratom addiction makes me really sad because at this point I wasn’t balls deep into abuse. I was just taking around seven to eight grams once a day. To some people that might seem like a lot already, but compared to what I’m going to tell you later, it’s nothing.
I basically did this routine every day until one day I decided to take a second dose to finish off the day and take the first dose earlier. It was the same dosage, but just doing it one more time. This decision was the one I regret the most out of all the other decisions I’ve made during this time. This is also around the time I started getting panic attacks, I’m not sure if Kratom had anything to do with it because I was also drinking shitloads of caffeine too. I would doubt it if it wasn’t at least 35% why I suffered these attacks.
I did the two dose a day routine for months and for the first time in this whole experience, I knew I had a problem. I remember stopping cold turkey for a week and some change. I did not feel bad physically, but mentally I wanted it so bad. For this time I stopped taking it, I had an urge to just feel something, anything. I bought a Juul to try and get a buzz and I never smoke whatsoever. I smoked it for a couple days and I didn’t like it, so I just stopped. I still had a constant urge to be high, so I upped my dose of caffeine. I was already doing 300mg a day, so adding onto this was just absurd. I bought those energy boosters that come in a 4-pack at the gas station and boy did my anxiety skyrocket. I got a panic attack from doing this and didn’t take those pills again for awhile. My dumbass still never learns though as I have done these pills probably around ten more times since then and most of the time I get a panic attack and pray that I don’t die.
It’s going to be hard to believe this next part, but believe me it’s very true. The feeling of nothing was draining me, so I resorted to taking a couple Advils to relieve my cravings of euphoria. As you may have guessed, I didn’t feel shit and was just suffering. To my surprise though, around the end of that Kratom-less week I was fine. I didn’t have a desire to be high or take Kratom, but something changed on the last day. Up until now, this was the closest I have ever come to stopping Kratom, but as you can tell, there is still more to this depressing story. I wanted to do Kratom and told myself that I was just gonna buy it one more time and be done with it. Well, I bought the 5-pack of the OPMS Gold Extract pills from a headshop and took one. When it kicked in, I felt so fucking good and knew that my habit was going to continue no matter what I told myself.
I went back to two doses a day for a period of time and since then I have stopped taking Kratom about three times. One time was for three days and the last two times were for a little over a day, so yeah I pretty much haven’t stopped since then.
It really only gets worse from here, but the worst part of my Kratom addiction happened in late 2020 to 2021. I apparently thought two doses wasn’t enough, so I started taking three! Yep, three doses a day. I also raised the dosages to nine grams each dose. So during this extended period of time I was doing twenty-seven fucking grams a day, sometimes more sometimes less. I don’t know what urged me to do this, but I did it. I would dose before I got to work, halfway through the day, and then near the end of my work day so I would be a little high at home. I was also scarfing these capsules down with Bangs (the 300mg of caffeine energy drink). One Bang in the morning and one for my last dose. I still can’t believe I did that shit. There were also some days where I would take the normal dose in the morning and then take like three to four more grams 45 minutes after. Please don’t be like me.
When I was doing these large doses of Kratom each day, my anxiety started skyrocketing. I never had anxiety in high school, I was carefree and didn’t really give a fuck about anything. Now though, I was a worried and stressed mess of a person.
Basically now, I was just taking Kratom to not only feel high, but feel normal. I felt like I needed to take Kratom to get through a day of work and I never missed a dose to achieve this normalcy. I hope people who are reading this understand that I never intended to do Kratom daily like this, but it slowly crept its way into my soul and mind and took control of it.
Another thing I want to add is that my tolerance has pretty much stayed stagnant. I can do 8.5 grams and feel stimulated. So even doing these many large doses never really raised my tolerance unless you are comparing it to my first two years where it was lower.
Anyways, I did three doses a day for months until I finally stopped taking that “halfway through the day dose” and only take it in the morning and late afternoon. It’s been like that since then with some minor changes involved. I have no idea how I was able to cut down a dose, but I’m glad I did. The thought of doing three doses nowadays is so insane that I can’t believe I used to be like that.
So not only does this addiction take hold of your mind and spirit, but it also takes control of your wallet. Every couple weeks I go into a headshop to buy the 500 capsule Kratom bottle and I’ll also buy the OPMS Gold Extracts some times too. If you ever do Kratom and my story is somehow not deterring you away, please don’t ever buy the extract. It is so powerful and costs so much money to keep up with it. I’ve been taking them a lot more recently and it costs $50 for five extract pills where I am located. To give a rough estimate as to how much I spend on Kratom yearly, it would have to be around $5,000. It could be more or it could be less, but I would take the former.
Since I haven’t really described the effects, I will do so now. The peak of the Kratom high feels like your body got a little bit more numb, you are more sociable, in a better mood, and just everything becomes a little bit more alright in your life. I compare this addiction to a caffeine addiction. You’re going to feel better after you ingest it and this feeling of improvement will become necessary and your body will require you to take it every single day. You are activating the reward system in your brain from these substances and that’s why it’s very hard to quit.
Since becoming addicted to Kratom, there are many things that have happened to me both physically and mentally. Physically I’m very fatigued and tired all the time. That could be due to my job, but the Kratom doesn’t help that. I shake damn near all the time and if I do extracts, the shakes become more pronounced. I also see static and floaters in my vision which can go back to my psychedelic use, but I feel like the Kratom is only making it worse. As long as I don’t focus on it, I won’t notice it.
I’m not as worried about the physical detriments to my body as I am the mental ones. I have extreme anxiety, I don’t like going out, I’m afraid to talk to women, a lot of friends I had have basically disappeared because I’m nervous to see them, and I also panic a lot and feel depressed most days.
I feel like I am also just stuck in my own thoughts, these are bad thoughts too. Every time I think of something, it always ends up turning out negative. I’m not gonna say I’m not in a good mood ever, but I’m definitely in this distressed state more than in a cheerful state. There is one positive thing to come out of all of this though and it’s that I have a severe amount of empathy towards others. I try to help people in need and do whatever I can to make their lives better. If my life already sucks, I don’t want others to feel the same pain as I do. I give great advice to people (even though they don’t take it a lot of the time) and just make the world a better place. This empathy though is also a negative for me. I feel like since I know everyone else’s pain, that I will never be happy again. The knowledge of the suffering of the human race (and also innocent animals) terrorizes me daily knowing that I can only do so much. I’m not saying I’m a good person either, I still make mistakes and do bad things, so don’t get it twisted.
Sometimes when I talk to people, I’ll start stuttering my words because I’m already thinking of the next sentence I’m going to say, so the words jumble into each other and it comes out as a stutter. I’ve also noticed I have weird ticks where I grab my chin and scratch my head when talking to someone, usually when it’s a question. When I notice this, I immediately stop. My old counselor (who I don’t visit anymore) noticed this about me and made me paranoid about it ever since. Yeah, thanks a lot.
People have also told me I’m very funny and calm. I can only be funny because of the torment my mind goes through on a daily basis. That’s why, if you haven’t noticed, comedians are more likely to kill themselves. Just look it up and you’ll see it happens quite frequently. I wouldn’t say I’m suicidal, but I’ve definitely thought about it a couple times. Whether that’s just crashing into the median on the freeway or shooting myself. I can’t say I would ever actually do this, but I have never gotten to the point of it being even close to doing those things. I’ve also experienced life long enough to realize that it does get better, but there will be lots of ups and downs on the way. Mostly downs for me, but at least I can treasure the ups when they do happen.
There is not one person that knows I am addicted to Kratom. People know I have taken it before, but they do not know anything past that, like the extent and frequency of my use. It’s very easy to hide that you’re on it because it’s not gonna fuck you up like a strong opioid or stimulant will. It gives you a mix of both that balances the two to create a “normal” person. People see me daily and think that’s the real me, no, that's the Kratom-Induced sack of animated limbs.
Currently I’d say I can manage the doses better. I still do a lot, but I could wait to do a dose. I still have to do two, but before I had to do it at a specific time. I still have the problem of it being on my mind before I take it. Like before my second dose, I am pretty much thinking of Kratom up until I do it. I wait until my lunch is digested and it’s more empty because empty stomachs do make a difference. Although over the summer I was super high from taking it and eating breakfast after. I did take an extract, so that could be why.
The anxiety nowadays has gone down a little and same with the depression, but I am prescribed medication, so I am sure that’s helping. I do not drink or do any other drugs, so I guess that’s one thing to be happy about? I forgot to add to that period of time I was doing three doses in a day, I was also drinking quite frequently. Somehow though, I feel worse than back then. Maybe I don’t as it’s hard to go back in time to see how I felt. I’m hoping that all these mental and physical symptoms go away if I stop taking Kratom because it’s getting to the point of being unbearable. I wish I could talk to a close friend about what’s going on inside my head and the insufferable addiction I’m going through. I’m just so embarrassed to tell someone. It’s not like weed or alcohol where it’s normal in society to be addicted to those substances. Yes, people who smoke every day are addicted, I do not care what you say. Kratom, on the other hand, is not really well-known with normal people in society and the people that do know what it is think it’s K2 or some shit (which it’s not even close to).
My short-term goal with this addiction is cutting it down to one dose a day and cutting out all the extracts. The bad part about the extract is that I can afford it. It’s great that I’m financially stable, but I hate how much I love those things.
The long-term goal I have is obviously stopping it completely. I really don’t know how long that will take or if it will even happen at all. I know something has to happen in my life to deter me away from it forever. Even if I do stop, am I going to end up going back to it? I hope that my mind will trample this stupid fucking addiction once-and-for-all and I will go back to living a normal life without this satanic substance. I can’t even recall what it was like before this took over my life.
I’d say that Kratom has ruined my life. I know that I’m still young and have room for improvement, but the future looks completely bleak in regards to Kratom use. Until I go months without taking a single kratom capsule, I will not be satisfied with my life. Even if I stop taking it for months, there is still a chance I will be super stressed, mad, or whatever feeling that makes me want to escape that reality for just a short period of time.
I hope none of you think this story is bullshit and can’t happen because it’s Kratom. It’s 100% true and I want you all to take what I have to say to heart because I don’t want anyone to experience the horrors that I’m going through. How Kratom fools you is its subtlety. You may not realize you have a problem until it’s too late, just like me. If I can get addicted to this, anyone can. It’s just like being an alcoholic, caffeine addict, or even a food addict. Any kind of addiction is bad, some are worse than others. You can still function normally on this and look as though you’re clean, but in reality you know you’re not any better off than someone suffering from a worse addiction. You have the same problems as them, just not as severe.
To end this journey I have taken you through, I just want to say that you should NEVER take Kratom under any circumstances, unless you are going through a horrible opioid, benzo, or alcohol withdrawal. Those are seriously the only people I would recommend taking it. Even then, if there is a way to combat your withdrawals or addictions with something else, PLEASE do that instead. If you are currently taking it, but are just doing it occasionally, don’t ever take more than that. If you can keep it under control like that, then it won’t cause you that much harm, but you never know if it will lead to what I am currently going through or even worse. If you would’ve told me I was going to be addicted like this four years ago, I would take the crack you were smoking and take a hit of that shit because there is no way in hell someone could get addicted to this. Just please be careful, seriously, your life can be negatively changed forever.

In all the time I've spent out and about with my mother in public, something that infuriates me to no end is her blatant disregard for other people. It's embarrassing. It's not even that she's dumb or unaware, she just gets a sick sense of joy from behaving this way.
Some of these behaviors include:

1. Taking two parking spaces. Intentionally. All the time, because, "The lot's not that full."
   
2. Parking a cart in the middle of the aisle while shopping and refusing to move it until she's found what she's looking for. I always have to push it aside so others can get through and she bitches at me for being "too nice."
   
3. Making rude comments about others while they're in earshot and shrugging it off when I ask her not to do that.
   
4. Hotboxing me in the car with her stupid cigarette smoke (I've asked her not to smoke in my car, but y'know) then tossing the butt out the window if she has nothing to put it in. She won't use an permanent ashtray in the vehicle because they stink. If I cough or complain about the smell she either laughs mockingly or sarcastically says, "Sorry."
   
5. Digging around in her purse for said cigarettes while driving and nearly getting us into accidents.
   
6. Refusing to use the signal light or wear a seat belt. When I wear mine she asks, "What, are you afraid of my driving?"
   
7. Wouldn't get the covid vax. Literally cost her her job but she wouldn't budge. She then tried to forbid me from getting it but I did it anyway because f*ck that noise.
   
8. If anyone she deems "inferior" challenges her in some way, her immediate response is the threat (or display) of violence. Her former workplace has a hole in the wall where she kicked a door with insane force because a colleague she didn't like made an insensitive comment. She then threatened to follow said coworker home. She was not disciplined for this.
   
9. This one's kind of unrelated but putting me down and criticizing me in front of others, then getting mad when others treat me poorly. They're following your lead, Mom.
   

Something's missing. People (and entities) are starting to notice.
First Previous
***
Far across the multiverse in a tavern that, depending on one’s point of view, may or may not have actually existed, Zeb, Petunia, Bethany, Bergamot, Cleve, and Zilandrial sat at a large wooden table.
“Thank you, Shauna,” Bergamot said as a buxom woman in a low-cut peasant dress filled their mugs with a “magic” pitcher of beer that never ran dry. “You don’t have to serve us, you know.”
“Oh, I know,” Shauna replied brightly, “but I am a barmaid. Besides, I am not giving up my magic pitcher!” she added with a laugh. “The next batch of stew should be out in a second.”
“If it is as good as this bread…” Cleve said, holding up a thick, floppy piece of flatbread.
“Better!” Shauna exclaimed. “The pantry keeps filling back up with the best stuff! It’s almost a shame to make stew out of it, but the “fancy” chef went to the “fancy” place. We just figured out the roaster thingy, so we’ll be serving roast fowl as soon as the first batch cooks!”
Shauna paused and took a big drink from her pitcher.
“It turns out that you just had to talk to it. Weird… But no weirder than anything else, I suppose. You guys want to wait for the roast fowl?”
“We shouldn’t tary,” Zeb replied, “We don’t know how long this blessed peace will last.”
“Maybe it’s over?” Bethany the Tinker, now reunited with her beloved hat, asked.
“One can hope,” Zeb shrugged as he drank deeply from his tankard, “but I’m not delaying my repast, and neither should you. When you have fiends like Pantsu and F10w3rchy1d in play, things can get much worse than they already are.”
“Worse?!?” Bergamot exclaimed in horror.
***
Melinda the Stalwart was starting to believe that she should have stayed in bed today.
It was supposed to be her day off! Yeah, things were starting to get “weird,” but with all of those high-rated champions running around up north, it was probably going to get handled pretty quickly… and she was tired of chasing around after their scraps.
Her copper-rated ass was sitting this one out. The fact that everyone had gone gank-crazy just further confirmed that she had the right idea.
So, she decided to head back to the royal city of Raven’s Peak to take advantage of the richer and more powerful adventurers running off to the north, leaving all the armorers, enchanters, alchemists, and publicans in town behind.
It was nice not constantly getting shoved out of the way by stronger champions and ignored by shopkeepers far more interested in their gold than her silver for once.
It started out as such a lovely day, too!
She awoke in a lovely bed at the Blade and Wand, her absolute favorite inn, and a place where it was nearly impossible to get a room without a reservation or a lot more status than she had. There, she enjoyed a wonderful breakfast, at a discounted rate no less, and then went out for a day of crowd-free shopping!
It. Was. Bliss! There were no lines, and all of the storekeepers and craftsmen were all too happy to not only serve her and her meager purse but actually take time to chat!
Then, for lunch, she decided to visit the main branch of the adventurer’s guild, where she had an honest-to-gosh hamburger and fries along with some cider. After that, the plan was to get some training or maybe buy a buff or two…
Well, that was the plan, anyway.
What actually happened was that her wonderful burger, which she could never get under normal circumstances (they were always sold out before a copper-rated nobody could get their coppers taken), was interrupted by the most unholy screams she had ever heard inside or outside a dungeon.
She barely had time to stand before the doors to the guild offices exploded outward, and a demon covered in spikes and flames charged into the main hall.
That looks just like the guildmaster, was about all she had time to think before the fiend was on her.
***
“What’s happening?!?” Melinda cried in terror as she hurtled through absolutely nothing.
(Shh bby is ok)
“H-hello?” she called.
(😊)
“W-who are you? What happened to me?”
(Shh bby is ok)
“Am I… Am I dead?!?”
(is ok)
“Oh, it is definitely NOT okay! Who are you, and what the hell happened?”
The bedbug sighed with exasperation as it bounced off an invisible barrier again.
It had taken too long. The soul was starting to wake up.
Before much longer, it would start to get wiggly. It hated it when they began to wiggle.
Not knowing exactly what else to do, it let out a little ping.
It was answered by thousands of its kind! They couldn’t get through either, so they were having a rave! Awesome!
With a happy little (woo!), it zipped off towards the largest concentration of pings dragging an increasingly indignant Melinda the Stalwart along whether she wanted to or not.
***
“Hahaha!” Tawdry laughed into a prepaid “burner phone” her parents didn’t know about. “I can’t be-lieve you got me fucking grounded, you skank!”
“You’re still grounded?” Claudia snickered, “You diminished that badly?”
“It’s my parents. I managed to talk them down to a week without brain fucking them too hard. Besides, this cell is a lot nicer than the holes you used to stick me in. I’ll just do my time and be done with it. Besides, it will give our friends time to leave town since someone can’t manage to find a freaking truck.”
“First of all, fuck you,” Claudia laughed, “Second of all, thanks for getting that bastard to show up in a park and chase you across all of that nice soft turf. We got a lot of data we didn’t have before.”
“Like what?”
“Like its estimated mass, tire treads, a few lovely material samples where it nailed a park bench while trying to kill you… oh, and confirmation that it actually materializes and dematerializes. We can only assume the little bitch does the same thing. Too bad you couldn’t actually lay hands on her.”
“She was slippery, okay?” Tawdry chuckled.
“Hey,” Claudia said, “before Evika and her party ganked you, did they say anything about whom they were working for, or did they mention a little blonde girl named Petunia… or Pantsu?”
“No, they just said hi and blew my head off. Oh! Stephen did say that David finally confessed to Evika!”
“Took him long enough,” Claudia laughed, “Think he has a chance?”
“I know he has one,” Tawdry replied, “Evika’s gonna drop those drawers any second.”
“Good for her.”
“You said that Robert the Golden Peckerhead got sent back?”
“Yeah, and he is not adjusting well,” Claudia replied, “We have him in a ‘special’ inpatient facility where we are keeping the people with ‘issues’.”
“You got a lot of ‘patients’?”
“Not as many as you would think,” Claudia said, “Not everyone is happy about things, but there is something to be said about not having to sleep with a dagger under your pillow.”
“True that,” Tawdry replied. “High school is a pain, but being able to go out for pizza without an enraged wife (or husband) trying to shank you is nice.”
“Careful,” Claudia laughed, “Enraged spouses here might have a gun. You might want to go easy on the adultery this time around. There is also no magic contraception, and cure disease potions aren’t for sale in every town.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Tawdry groaned. “Doesn’t really matter, though. I might as well be a nun these days.”
“You can’t be diminished that much!”
“I am not into kids, and any man worth screwing isn’t into jailbait. I’m the exact opposite of screwed… Speaking of, you did mention a possible trip to Denmark?”
“Aren’t you grounded?”
“I won’t be next week!”
“And how will you explain your sex tourism to your folks?”
“Let me worry about my folks,” Tawdry replied, “You worry about that plane ticket!”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Claudia replied with a chuckle.
Natasha! Come down for dinner!
“I’ll be right there!” Tawdry yelled.
“I gotta go. It’s taco night…”
Tawdry grinned.
“Speaking of tacos, did you get that camel toe fixed yet?”
“And just when we were even, too!” Claudia laughed. “Your little suggestion has everyone looking at my snatch… including me, and I know it’s bullshit!”
“Ha! Is your new fuck toy looking?”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Detective Martin! I know you have a thing for that whole world-weary crusader vibe. And don’t think I didn’t see you checking out his ass, either.”
“I have the same problem you do,” Claudia sighed, “worse even. The sort of man I like certainly won’t be messing around with a ‘kid’, even if I am ‘legal’.”
“Yeah, you do like them a bit crusty, don’t you? How about finding some rich asshole who is having a mid-life crisis?”
“I will repeat myself. The sort of man I would like isn’t interested… and won’t be for years.”
“Meh. You’re not giving yourself enough credit… and giving them far too much of it.”
“Well, Slaker turned me down cold… goddamn chain of command…”
“No! You tried to give it up to Slaker?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time…”
“No way! I need details, all of them!”
“Well…”
Natasha! Dinner!
“I have to go,” Tawdry said, “but this is not over!”
***
Vroom? an old Peterbilt truck revved as it sat in a remote corner of a truck stop in the middle of nowhere.
“Still nothing,” the little girl huffed. “How can an entire universe disappear?”
Vroom… Vroom?
“Let’s hope not,” the girl replied, “Even so, he wouldn’t abandon us!”
“What?” the spirit asked with alarm.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” the little girl replied.
“Doesn’t sound like nothing.”
“Okay,” the little girl replied, “There is a remote chance that our boss has had to… um… cease operations and relocate. It hasn’t happened in a really long time, but it has happened.”
“Does that mean that I’m stuck?!?”
“No, of course not. It just means we might have to wait until we’re collected.”
Vroom.
“He won’t forget us!”
VroOoom…
“Hey! Don’t even start talking like that! We’ve done good work for the boss on several worlds. He won’t just discard us!”
“What do you mean, discard?”
“Just watch your anime, weeb,” the little girl snapped. “He hasn’t abandoned us, and he won’t forget us. He’s just… um…”
Vroom.
“I don’t know, alright!” the little girl replied angrily, “I have no idea where those others came from. All I know is that we didn’t squish them.”
VvvrOom.
“If he had another team, I would know about it!”
Vroom?
“I just would, okay! WE AREN’T GETTING REPLACED!... I’m… I’m going to get some air, maybe a Coke or something.”
The little girl threw open the door to the cab angrily and hopped out.
“Hey!” the spirit yelled, “See if they have any audiobooks!”
***
We’ve been abandoned… the little girl thought to herself as she prowled the truck stop trying not to panic.
She had to keep it together for Truck-Kun… and their new companion. If she fell apart, Truck-Kun would, too, and who knows what the spirit would do. He was two seconds from making another run for it as it was.
She paused by a rack of dusty old audiobooks on CD. Now that wasn’t something she had seen in a bit.
Thankful for the distraction, she started perusing the titles. Some of them were things she hadn’t already read (or listened to).
She grabbed a few for herself and then started looking for something appropriately nerdy for her new guest.
She might have murdered them in cold blood, but that was no reason not to be a good host.
She was so distracted by her own troubles and the audiobooks that she didn’t notice that she was being followed until the guy’s shadow fell around her.
She then became aware of his oily aura and smiled.
All work and no play…
“Hello, little girl…”
She looked up at him with an innocent expression and doe-like eyes.
“Hi.”
***
Truck-Kun quietly ground his gears as he watched a beat-up RV pull onto the highway.
Vroom, he grumbled as he put himself in gear and started to follow.
“What?” the spirit asked.
About half an hour later, Truck-Kun pulled over next to an RV that was parked on the side of the highway.
The door opened, and the little girl hopped out, holding a paper bag.
Vroom, the truck revved disapprovingly.
“Such a nice man,” the little girl said impishly as she plopped into the driver’s seat, and the truck drove away.
“Are those bloodstains?” the spirit asked as he pointed at the bag.
“What answer would you prefer?” the girl asked as she pulled out a half-filled fifth of vodka and most of a pack of smokes graciously donated by the nice man in the RV (it wasn’t like he was going to be needing them).
Vroom.
“I know I quit,” the girl replied as she put one in her mouth. “Give me a break. My nerves are shot.”
Vroom.
“Yes, shot enough to smoke menthols!”
The little girl lit up and drew heavily on the cigarette, exhaling a lovely smoke ring.
Vroom!
“So, crack a window!”
Vroom! Vroom! Vrooooom!
“You can’t smell, and you know it! So please, cut me some slack. I’ve had a bad day,” she said as she turned up the bottle of vodka like it was Juicy Juice.
Vroom!
“I know you’ve had a bad day, too,” the girl said as she wiped her mouth, “Want me to get you some fuel treatment at the next stop, maybe some starting fluid?”
Vroom.
“Okay, and a new air freshener, maybe some of those fuzzy dice you like? Deal?”
Vroom!… Vroom?
“As a matter of fact,” the little girl said as she pulled out a wad of bills. “the nice man did keep his cash on him.”
Vroom! the truck revved happily.
***
“Jesus!” Gary Martin, formerly Detective Martin, winced as he looked inside an abandoned old RV the following day.
“Say what you want about her,” Claudia Smythe said as she ate a corn dog. “but she is thorough.”
“We think the girl did this?”
“Matches her MO,” Claudia shrugged as she flicked the corn dog stick aside. “And we have surveillance footage at the truck stop. The asshole was talking to someone small, the cameras didn’t get a good shot of the kid, and eyewitnesses state that he was in the company of his ‘daughter’ when he left.”
“You said this was her MO. She’s done this before?” Gary asked.
“She rolls guys like this for their pocket change. We’re not sure if it’s how they finance their operations or if she just does it for fun, but this is the third one this year.”
A well-dressed and very young man in sunglasses approached the pair.
“Sir Lark,” Claudia said without turning around. “We have an ID on this guy yet?”
“Boris Veetch,” the young man said. “a registered sex offender with an active warrant for skipping out on his parole.”
“Yeah, she likes those,” Claudia shrugged. “Nobody will mourn his passing. He was easily ensnared, and he probably was carrying cash.”
“And she is professional bait,” Gary shrugged. “He was slime, but I’m not sure even he deserved what happened to him, though. What sort of monster would do something like this?”
“You just answered your own question,” Claudia replied, “a monster.”
“If you think this is bad," Lark said as he started photographing the scene, "You should see what a pack of goblins will do if they get the chance."
“Considering what we now know,” Claudia said with a shrug, “this trail is beyond cold. Even if they couldn’t do the whole disappearing act, they could be in any of several states by now. We’ve lost them… again.”
She looked over at Gary.
“Just as well,” she added, “We need to get you processed and briefed… agent.”
She smiled.
“Welcome to the Temporal Protection Agency.”
***
Deep within the deepest dungeon on Asteria Prime, a monstrous giant of a spider fidgeted uncomfortably.
“H-hello… boss,” it said nervously, “T-to w-what do we owe the honor of your visit?”
Frostie smiled an icy smile that filled the giant spider with horror.
“Oh, I was just in the area and thought I would give my friends here,” she said, indicating The Great Erectus, The Herald, and Cuddles, “a tour.”
“O-of c-course!” Log’Sharingoth LXXXIII stammered as their legs twitched miserably. “W-would you like a guide?”
“That would be lovely,” Frostie smiled. “Where’s Pantsu? I think she and The Big Guy over here would get along famously.”
“S-she isn’t available, boss.”
“Not even for me?”
“I-I apologize,” Log’Sharingoth said nervously, “but she isn’t here right now?”
“Well, where did she go?”
“I-I’m not sure, boss…”
“Okay, how about Nova?”
“S-she’s not here, either.”
“Shai-Vai-Loshara?”
“Um…”
“Steve?”
Log’Sharingoth made a whining bubbling noise as they shrank away.
“Why don’t you just tell me who is missing and exactly what the fuck is going on?” Frostie said with an angry gleam in her eye.
***
“…and I don’t know where anyone is!” Log’Sharingoth wailed miserably. “And everything is going wrong, the players almost rioted, and the physics engine threatened to quit! I didn’t know what to doooo!!!”
“And at no point did it occur to you to call me?” Frostie asked with a frightening edge to her voice.
“Pantsu told me not to!!!”
Frostie let out a long-suffering sigh. Of course, the current Log’Sharingoth wouldn’t go against Pantsu. It was horribly unfair to expect otherwise.
“I’m not going to come down on you because of what she did,” Frostie said a bit more gently. “However, since I now clearly know something is amiss, anything you can tell me will be of great value.”
“I-I’m not in trouble?”
“Not from me,” Frostie replied, “and Pantsu won’t be giving you any problems after I’m done with her.”
Frostie paused.
“So, this glitched Pantsu, where is it now?”
“Pantsu had me send it to Tartarus! I’m sorry! But she said to!”
“Sounds like the only sensible thing she’s done thus far,” Frostie replied.
“I didn’t want to, but she told me to do it!”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Frostie shrugged, “sounds like the perfect place for it. Wait. She told you?”
“Yes, Boss!”
“That means you have a line of communications?”
Log’Sharingoth’s multiple eyes all widened with fear.
“Y-yes?”
“Call her and tell her to give me her location… now.”
“Y-yes boss…”
Log’Sharingoth fell silent for a few moments.
“Um… Boss?”
“Let me guess,” Frostie said, “You can’t reach her, can you?”
“No, Boss.”
“Fine,” Frostie grumbled. “We do this the hard way. You’ve done a great job, considering everything.”
“I have?” Log’Sharingoth asked hopefully.
“You have,” Frostie said reassuringly. “Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll send a crisis response team to help out in the meantime.”
“A… A crisis response team?” Log’Sharingoth asked fearfully.
“You didn’t think you were getting off Scot free, did you?” Frostie laughed as she and her companions disappeared.
“…Ssssshit,” Log’Sharingoth hissed as she stalked off into the shadows.
***
The hominid looked around at their new surroundings.
Everything was white. The floor was white. The walls were white. The furniture was white…
Even the plants were white…
And everything was spotless.
“Interesting décor,” he said after a few seconds.
“They like to keep things tidy,” Frostie replied as she took a seat on one of the white couches.
“They?” the ape-man asked dubiously as Cuddles slipped one of her tentacles into The Herald’s hand.
He gently gripped it, causing Cuddles to suppress a delighted squeal.
“Playtime is over,” Frostie said in a matter-of-fact tone. “I’m calling in my real operatives.”
“Jesus!” The Great Erectus exclaimed as a spotless white door opened, and a short, slender blue male amphibian-like biped in a white tunic bearing a three-headed dog embroidered with platinum thread walked in.
“You never told me you had… them!”
“Oh, you are familiar with their kind?”
“Those little monsters are responsible for the death of entire universes! Every time there is a parallel manifestation of those… monsters… entire galaxies die.”
“They can be a handful,” Frostie said pleasantly, “But I’ve found them incredibly valuable over the years… for that very same reason. These do come from much more reasonable stock from a much more reasonable ancestor... Maybe 'reasonable' is pushing it a little,” Frostie added with a laugh. "Reasonable for one of them, at least."
The blue amphibian smiled pleasantly and blinked his huge amber eyes, their pleasant hue replaced with a whirling madness of color.
“Hello, Hades,” Frostie said with a smile. “It has been quite a while. How have you been?”
“Bored,” Hades replied. “I trust you have come to alleviate that?”
“Most definitely,” Frostie replied. “Awaken the others…”
“…It’s time to hunt.”

I was sitting by the river away from anyone smoking and chilling while people were walking their dogs nowhere near me. As soon as I started recording a video of myself in Portuguese, this old woman (that I had already noticed staring at me) came to me and started saying I couldn't smoke hash in the streets and that I wasn't welcome. That I should go to my own country and people of "my type" we're up to no good or something along these lines. I tried to apologize and explain to her I asked this very morning at the takeaway coffee shop if I could smoke in the streets, and he told me "yes, if you smoke away from people". No ease, she kept aggressively insulting me with her racist words. I tried calling the police, and they said I couldn't file a complaint.
Dog old dutch lady from near the river, I have something to tell you: this is MY trip, my wife and I saved our little money for a long time for it to happen and you will not spoil it!

I was sitting by the river away from anyone smoking and chilling while people were walking their dogs nowhere near me. As soon as I started recording a video of myself in Portuguese, this old woman (that I had already noticed staring at me) came to me and started saying I couldn't smoke hash in the streets and that I wasn't welcome. That I should go to my own country and people of "my type" we're up to no good or something along these lines. I tried to apologize and explain to her I asked this very morning at the takeaway coffee shop if I could smoke in the streets, and he told me "yes, if you smoke away from people". No ease, she kept aggressively insulting me with her racist words. I tried calling the police, and they said I couldn't file a complaint.
Dog old dutch lady from near the river, I have something to tell you: this is MY trip, my wife and I saved our little money for a long time for it to happen and you will not spoil it!

The Stay On Main hotel, referred to by its former title of the Cecil, stood tall before me. Its brown brick front loomed. I walked through the main entranceway with my suitcase in hand.
I made my way into the empty lobby and approached the front desk. The inside had glossy black and white tile flooring. Stanchions with red ropes led to the check-in counter.
The clerk looked up at me from his phone with a side-eyed glance. He had wavy blonde hair and blue eyes. He resembled a surfer more than he did a night manager.
“I’m looking to stay here for a week,” I said as I handed him a wad of cash.
“This is an affordable housing unit for the homeless,” he said. “You’re well dressed and have an Irish accent. I’m guessing you’re a journalist or documentary filmmaker. Either way, it wouldn’t feel right to let you stay here when you can afford somewhere else. You’d be taking up space someone of greater need could use.”
“This should erase guilt,” I said as I handed him another stack of hundreds.
The man accepted the bribe and stuffed it in his shirt pocket. He then slid a room key over to me after I gave him a false name and a credit card that did not belong to me. He mentioned the complimentary breakfast available in the morning.
“I’m Scottish by the way,” I corrected him as I made my way onto the elevator.
There were fifteen floors and my room was on the fifth. I pressed the button. The sounds of the creaking wires holding the platform stable reverberated above.
It dinged and let me off. I went down the hallway, which had wooden ground and drab white-painted walls.
I entered my room and saw it was not much better than the corridor. There were a few places I had stayed at with my wife around Loch Lomond far above such a decrepit den as this.
The first thing I saw was the view of skid row outside. Its wandering figures resembled the madhouse painting by Goya. Street lights, neon, and litter were everywhere.
The desk drawer had the to-be-expected Bible. Shock coursed through me as I saw the completed works of Alfred Tennyson next to it. A highlighted passage got my attention:
‘and this gray spirit yearning in desire to follow knowledge
like a sinking star, beyond the utmost bound of human thought.’
It was well-known that Tennyson was a part of my agency when the organization was first founded.
I laid my piece of luggage on the bed and opened it. I took out a leather-bound journal, an EVP recorder, external microphones, and a few mini cameras. I placed the items in each corner.
I waited and retrieved my ledger. I scribbled about my findings later in the morning.
EXCERPTS FROM FIELD NOTES/SURVEILLANCE MONITORING, FEBRUARY 16th AT 0439 HOURS:
There is a streak of blood underneath my mattress. It is faint, very old, and would not even be noticeable to the average eye due to its faded quality. I would not have found it had I not spotted and attempted to kill a roach that scurried across the carpet. The insect has disappeared. I presume it to have fallen between the cracks into another dreary unit below. I have not observed strange or unusual sounds within my space in particular. I have not seen any visions, ethereal or cerebral, which would sound any alarms. Screaming, honking horns, and drunken babbling seep through the boundaries. The wind seemed to flow through the rafters at an unusual pace around those noises. By that, I mean it whistles a song of its own in perfect rhythm.
*
I awoke the next day to the sound of my phone. It was the landline in the room. I answered it and pressed the receiver to my ear in a groggy state, entangling my neck in the wire.
“Meet me at the Civilization Cafe,” a familiar woman’s voice said. My response would have been irrelevant since it was an order and not a question. I placed it back on the hook and managed to get out of bed.
I showered, dressed, and made the walk to the coffee shop.
Dani sat outside with a steaming mug in hand. She did not acknowledge me with anything more than a quick nod as I took a seat across from her. She scanned her surroundings to make sure no one was within earshot.
“Why did you rent the place for a week?” Dani asked between sips. “We agreed on one night.”
“You know why,” I said. I tried to remind myself to remain assertive without being hot-tempered. I did not want a write-up for insubordination.
“We need you to find out what’s wrong with this place," she said. "Report your findings soon. Otherwise, what happened to the last occupants could very well occur to the next civilian.”
“Please don’t put pressure on me like that,” I said. “Catching a poltergeist in a place with so much suffering is almost impossible. It's like summoning the ancients and asking them about the order of their calamities.”
“Could you at least streamline it by sending us emails instead of relying on a pen and notebook?” Dani’s voice became an aggressive whisper. “We’re getting tired of hiring an administrator to sort out your papers. Keeping your intelligence on point is a full-time job.”
“Writing it out by hand gives me a closer connection to the source material. I have to trust my way, or I’ll make mistakes by breaking my habits. You wouldn’t want that.”
She looked down the road. She finished her drink, slung her purse over her shoulder, stood, and pushed her chair in.
“Stay safe,” she said as she walked to a black cherry-painted Honda parked near the sidewalk. "Take care, Graham."
EXCERPTS FROM FIELD NOTES/SURVEILLANCE MONITORING, FEBRUARY 17th AT 0345 HOURS:
There has been one odd synchronicity after another. My window, accumulated so much mist that I reasoned it must have been pouring. Of course, it was bright out. Some of my filming devices have readjusted without me having touched them since set up. The towel rack in my restroom bent at its center. I guarantee it was not that way beforehand. I have taken this as a lesson to take photographs of every square inch of the place. This is for future reference in my studies. After observing these anomalies, my body fell into a lethargic sensation. I was reading a book titled The Origins of the World’s mythologies by EJ Michael Witzel before it fell out of my hands. As sleep enveloped me, something tendril-like moved in my periphery. It disappeared when I tried to stare at the illusions. I fell off of my mattress after having a nightmare of a lion chasing me through the Serengeti. I hit the floor. I looked to the side and saw a fog creep through the small crack at the bottom of my door. I went to investigate where this was coming from. I did not see anything as the remnants of the precipitation evaporated completely. In the hallway was an orange feline. She scampered away into a grimy stairwell.
*
I walked outside after I finished the report. I stepped into my rented vehicle and drove to a liquor store to pick out a bottle of whiskey. There were so many evenings when I was comfortable in my sobriety. This was no longer one of them. I had an uncontrollable urge to drown myself in the brown liquid that had been a scar on my life for so long.
I passed by a few markets that were teeming with too many suspicious people outside to risk going in. It took a while until I found one that was quiet and clean.
I went across the parking lot and saw a mural of Venice beach on the wall. It brought back memories of walking along the sands of Prestwick, with Lynsey.
Her eyes were emerald and her hair was darker than any cave I had explored in my youth. We had met at the Old College Bar in Glasgow at an age we kept secret from the bartenders with our fake IDs. We had a competition to see whose fraudulent driver's license was the most convincing.
I do not remember if I fell in love with her at first sight. I do recall being in disbelief that she even bothered to give me the time of her day. I can remember kissing her for the first time. The scent of her blossom honey perfume lit my body up.
I snapped out of my reminiscences and purchased a bottle of Glennmorangie blue label.
I was back at the Cecil in minutes. I imbibed two highballs and passed out. My tolerance level had weakened compared to the binging of my younger days. When I awoke, I analyzed what had occurred in the room during my sleep.
EXCERPTS FROM FIELD NOTES/SURVEILLANCE MONITORING, FEBRUARY 18th AT 0116 HOURS:
I am feeling hungover but alert. My 450-milliliter friend is half gone, but I am seeing straight right now without any problems. In other words, I am sober with a grudge. I hope my Supervisors at the Providence agency will forgive my conduct on the job. I do not believe they will blame me. A cobalt-hued smoke emanated from one of the corners. Jazz music is playing around me, whereas it never has before for the duration of my stay. It sounds so old and improvised. The notes are as unfamiliar to me as they would be to a new listener in the Flapper era. Worst of all is how out-of-tune it sounds. My tub has overfilled itself with brackish water. I have not even bathed yet, so I know that was not by my hand. A piece of the footage shows a silhouette moving across the room. Before it reaches my sleeping body, the camera lens shattered.
*
I ran out of pages and my hand cramped. I wrote new entries within the margins. I also started to hear things other than old tunes from a bygone era.
Human wails seeped in, each one more agonized than the last. Within a few minutes, I differentiated how there were two different voices. One male, the other a woman. I attempted to record them, but it was useless. All my mics picked up were static and the hum of the air conditioner, despite how they plagued my ears like tinnitus.
I lit a circle of candles and created a makeshift altar in the center of the room. I drew the circle with salt. I sat in the lotus position, closed my eyes, and endeavored to remain open to any visions. Seances were always my last resort.
I fell into a dream. I saw a couple, both from the decade of prohibition. They were lounging in the same room as me. The man had a copy of the completed work of Alfred Tennyson in his hands.
It all seemed like a peaceful scene until an argument commenced between the two. The man retrieved a blade from his vest and advanced toward her. He stabbed her. She turned the knife on him by gripping the sharp edge in her palms and hoisting it towards his midsection. He tried to claw towards the door, but failed and instead made his way under the bed.
EXCERPTS FROM FIELD NOTES/SURVEILLANCE MONITORING, FEBRUARY 19th AT 0026 HOURS:
I now realize I have not met my intended goal. I was hoping to receive some answers why my wife took her own life in this place. Instead, I came in contact with a murdered couple from the 1920s. They killed one another, but the woman acted in self-defense. Following research, I have learned the female is an ancestor of my departed wife, Lynsey. They share the same name. Her family immigrated here in the 1850s. She had mentioned this to me over dinner on more than one occasion. I never knew they had made their way here, to the exact spot I am sitting.
I am grateful to these organizations for allowing me to make an effort at settling this matter. I hope I have completed my duties with integrity. Unfortunately, I was unable to contact her. I will revisit this place one day soon since I have no intention of giving up.

When I was 7 years old my mom and father got a divorce . This event prompted her to move and follow her career in a different small town which would pay better, as she was a single parent now .
On our long 12 hour drive to the new location, we stopped on the way in this little town which was very " hippy" , sort of had lots of art, little shops etc.
My mom said we were here to meet up with her friend "Paulette". I guess they went way back in her college days and recently got in touch after a decade .
We end up going to this east Indian restaurant where we would meet for dinner.
This slender somewhat fragile woman walks in , she was very tall , well over 6 feet , big frizzy, curly brown hair with blonde streaks in it . She was caucasian, wearing a colorful shawl , with feather ear rings , with very pale blue eyes .She looked like a mosaic tapestry or something.
She walks over to the table and gives my mom a greeting and big hug , makes her way over to my older brother and shakes his hand , after comes around to my side of the table. I lend my hand out to her , and she just stood there expressionless, with her mouth partly open with a blank gaze , just staring at me . It briefly made me uncomfortable and then a flick of a switch, this spark ignites in her face , she makes this huge Cheshire Cat smile , kneels over and hugs me tightly .
She goes back to sit with my mom and they catch up over the years while we eat dinner . My mom gets the bill and says to her in the parking lot , you can just follow us , to Paulette. We get in the car and my mom explains to us , Paulette is actually coming over to live with us for awhile.
She followed us for the next several hours . We get to the new place and un pack our necessity items, as we had a moving truck hired with the rest of our stuff arriving in the morning.
There was a bunk bed already set up at this place for me and my brother. It was fairly late into the night roughly 11pm when we arrived.
Me and my brother set up our sleeping bags , I take the top bunk . My mom says good night . I fell asleep pretty quickly .
I wake up around 1:30am. I guess the patio deck light got turned on which was right beside our room. I gazed out through the blinders and I see the back of Paulettes curly hair . She was sitting on the deck cross legged smoking a cigarette. I didn't think much of it and lay back down.. Until I notice the light from the window gets partly blocked out . I look behind me with my head still on the pillow , I see the unmistakable outline of Paulettes shadow facing my window. She was there for a few minutes , I didn't want to lean up , I just pretended to sleep .
Her shadow moves and I hear the front door close. The patio light turns off after a few minutes . I re position myself facing the wall to go back to sleep. As I begin to drift off, the door to our room opens slowly and I quickly turned my head around , it wasn't my mom . It's Paulette wearing a night gown . I turn back facing the wall and close my eyes . She quietly makes her way to my bunk . I feel her fingers in a claw formation start to comb the back of my hair , running her nails on the back of my scalp. I kept my eyes closed tightly nearly holding my breath, trying to give no signs I'm awake . I smell some essential oils like lavender , and she starts rubbing oil into the back of my neck , and pinching the back of my neck muscle , sometimes holding it and releasing , I begin to kinda just accept whatever is happening... because it didn't feel all that bad after awhile. I actually ended up falling asleep to it after my initial confusion.
I wake up in the morning, my mom is off at work and Paulette is waiting at the table with cereal for me and my brother. She put chocolate chips in my bowl and not my brothers . My brother and I make small talk with her , she was very giggly seemed to be trying to make us comfortable with the new situation. My brother heads back to his room to set up his game cube , after his cereal .
I was a slower eater than my older brother, so I was always the last at the table. As I slowly ate she was sitting there watching my every move . Once I finished I said, thank you and grabbed my bowl to bring it to the sink . She places her hand on mine and says " I gave you a neck massage so you wouldn't pee your bed, I know lots of young ones pee beds when they sleep in unfamiliar surroundings ". I looked up at her and said , I've never peed my bed before ! but thank you .
She continued to massage the back of my neck for the next few nights. I ended up telling her I'm comfortable here now you don't need to do this anymore . She reacted to that with a sigh but acknowledged it . I started elementary school the following week which meant getting earlier night sleeps around 8pm . Her and my mom would stay up much later than me and brother and drink wine.
I always waited for them to go to bed before I used the wash room at night to go pee , because my mom would kinda scold me for being up late on week nights. Once things got quiet around 11 in the house I'd sneak out and tippy toe to go use the washroom .
This was my ritual for the next few weeks.. Until Paulette started doing the exact same thing at the same time, every time. Every night when I needed the washroom, it just so happened Paulette needed it too, and she would blaze down the hallway across from my room when id open the door. I'd just go back in my room and wait for her . It started happening so frequently I would just go outside to pee from the back mudroom door.
This started to , piss me off ( no pun intended ) . I'd open my door as quietly as I could and then sprint to the washroom .
This seemed effective for awhile. One night I get up slightly later than usual around 12. I was a little more careless with noise because I was half asleep/ groggy . I opened the door and Paulettes door just slams open instantly. She barges out in the dimly moonlit hallway completely naked and just starts quickly walking down the hallway . I was already so far down the hallway , I couldn't turn back to my room . I jump behind my mom's jade plant and squish my knees to my chest and tuck my head down .
She whizzes straight by me so fast I felt wind push my hair . She stays in the washroom for almost an hour with the door opened a crack, lights off in silence. I stayed there beside the washroom tucked in the corner behind the plant pot not making a sound. I hear the washroom door open completely and she starts pacing up and down the hallway. I kept small and insignificant behind the plant until she goes back into her room. I brushed this off as a complete accident, it was just unfortunate timing .. But no every night going forward she would literally sprint down the hallway naked if I'd make a single noise , creak the floor board , open my door etc .
About two months into this , me and my brother were sword fighting with tree branches outside. He ends up clipping my forehead causing it to bleed pretty bad . Paulette sees this happen , she walks up to my brother, what I thought would be to scold him , but no she stomp kicks him in the head with her boot causing him to fall on his back. He gets up off the ground crying and runs into the house . She grabs me and starts cradling me , rocking back and forward. Shes shaking so much that she was vibrating, repeatedly asking are you hurt? In a shakey voice.
Anyway my mom finds out through my brother what happened and decides she had to leave.
Her final day, she made a point to see me one on one in the driveway before entering her car.
She knelt down and said, I hope I can see you in a different life . You remind me so much of my husband . Good bye (my name) and starts bawling her eyes out hugging me. I asked my mom who her husband was ? I guess he was a marine that died in Afghanistan a few months prior to her moving in with us . Mom said, she would frequently say how much I reminded her of him on a daily basis.
My mom hasn't spoke to her since.
I've never told my mom about the massages or anything to this day , as she was already exiled and I felt it would just cause more drama.