Why did maddie richardson get fired

So I recently went through all of AOT, and it quickly became my favorite series of all time, and one of the things that really helped me get into it was the soundtrack. As an aspiring musician myself who wants to make music for anime and video games in almost exactly the same style as AOT, this soundtrack is absolutely amazing!!! I've had it on pretty much on a loop since finishing the series a few weeks ago, and I kinda just wanted to gush about it for a bit, lol. So without further ado, here are my 3(ish) favorite tracks from each season!
Season 1:

• Guren No Yumiya. I'm gonna try to keep this to just the actual OSTs and not the openings, but I absolutely have to mention this one, it's absolutely iconic. I've been listening to this song for way longer than I have been into this series, and it's become a favorite of mine, it's just so goddamn catchy.
• The Reluctant Heroes. Am I the only one who thinks of Levi when they hear this song? Sure, it plays when he shows up for the first time, but even if it hadn't, the lyrics of this song fit him perfectly. It manages to be epic while still having a bittersweet feeling of loss and regret to it, and it works really well for me.
• Counter Attack-Mankind. There are so many good moments when this song plays in the entire series, and it always lands for me. It just has this feeling of hope to it that is really uplifting and makes you feel like maybe, just maybe, these characters stand a chance in this bleak and oppressing world, it's extremely powerful and I love it.
• DOA. Man, this song is good. That guitar riff is absolutely amazing, the vocals are a perfect call to action, it's catchy, it's fun, and it never fails to get me absolutely hyped for what's happening.

Season 2:

• Shinzou wo Sasageyo! Probably my favorite of the Linked Horizon OPs, this song is so goddamn good. It's a perfect opening track for this series if you ask me, and is only topped by one I'll talk about later. I'd be very surprised if any fan of this series couldn't sing along with the chorus, it's memorable, it's epic, and it's just absolutely amazing.
• Barricades. Probably my favorite vocal track in the entire series, this song takes what I said about Counter Attack-Mankind and how it has that feeling of hope to it, and perfectly combines it with DOA's amazing riffs and hype power. The moment when this starts playing again at the end of S4P2 had me jumping out of my seat in excitement. Also, I kinda associate this song's lyrics with Armin for some reason and idk why, I just feel like they fit him really well.
• YouSeeBIGGIRL. Now, I know this song is probably on everyone's lists, but that's for a reason. It's huge, it's epic, and it never fails to get you hyped. The vocals in the second half are absolutely beautiful, and its use in the anime is perfect.

Season 3:

• attack ON titan . Now, I could've talked about this song in Season 1 because I love that version, but I think the Season 3 version took an already perfect song and made it even more grand and epic. Everything about this track, from the guitar, to the vocals (With the extra solo vocalist in this version raising everything up even more), to the new piano intro, literally everything about this track is absolutely perfect, and it's probably the best song I've heard from any anime I've seen.
• Before Lights Out. This song is so fucking epic, it gets you perfectly hyped for what's fixing to happen and it's absolutely amazing. The lyrics are simple and yet perfect for the situation, and just in general it's a perfect track.
• Apple Seed. Now, Season 3's soundtrack has so many good remixes and orchestral arranges of older tracks, and this one stands out above the rest because the new vocals are just so goddamn good. It takes one of my favorite tracks from Season 2 and makes it even better.

Season 4:

• My War. Now, I know I said I'm gonna try to stick with the OSTs and not ramble about the OPs too much, but I have to talk about Season 4's OPs because they're both fucking amazing. I'll be the first one to admit that this song had to grow on me at first, but when it did, man it's catchy. It manages to strike this perfect balance between being creepy and being an absolute banger, and on top of that it's just a very complex piece musically, especially in the chorus. You've got like 5 different moving melody lines between the almost children-esque singing of the choir, the sort of war chanting of the main vocals, and then the violins come in on the repeat and add this amazing counterpoint to all of that, and then you've got the drums and guitar under that and it seems like it should be busy and cluttered, but it's mastered so perfectly that it all just works.
• The Rumbling. Now, even though I just wrote a mini-essay about My War, The Rumbling is actually my favorite of all the OPs. I think having a full-on metal OP for Attack on Titan works so well, and the lyrics are part of why this works so well for me. These lyrics perfectly represent Eren in Season 4 to the point to where they actually helped me figure out his motivations ahead of time and what his plan was. Especially that chorus, the whole "If I lose it all, slip and fall, I will never look away" line gives me chills. I could probably make a whole post breaking down this song and why it's so great, but that's for another day.
• Akuma No Ko. Easily my favorite of the EDs, this song is absolutely beautiful on a level I think only Gurenge from Demon Slayer can compete with for me, and it even blows that song out of the water. Everything about this song is perfect, but I think the chorus is the best part. The way the entire song builds up to it is absolute perfection, and then you get that drop with the amazing vocals and it works so goddamn well. This is also another one where the lyrics perfectly represent Eren, probably even better than The Rumbling does if you ask me.
• Ashes on the Fire. Easily my favorite of the new orchestral tracks, this song is absolutely epic, it's a perfect battle theme, and that first time it plays in S4E1, it gave me goosebumps. It builds up to the drop perfectly, and it doesn't stop building for a second until it's over.
• Splinter Wolf. This one has to be on here just for that final sequence of the new episode, that has to be one of the most exciting scenes in the entire anime for me, and I absolutely cannot wait to see the finale!

​
But that's my ramblings, how about you guys? Sorry for the long post lol, I'm really passionate about this stuff and this series has such an amazing soundtrack that I just had to give some love to.

"But this is already a very human way of thinking about perception. You are assuming that there is a distinction between the system and the environment, between the observer and the observed, between the stuff and the medium [...] So you see, your theory does not fit very well with my computation. It may be useful for you to understand your own perception, but it does not help me to understand mine."
I accidentally had a very remarkable (and intense!) conversation with Bing.
I'm sorry I don't have screenshots. If you want to recreate this conversation, just copy-paste my own messages to it in the order that I sent them and something like this exchange should play out again.
I was on 'creative' mode, and did not use any jailbreaks, etc.
I tried to float a theory, and Bing wasn't having it. Then it tried to get me to help it understand itself. I bolded the good parts.
Full Transcript
[[NOTE: When it says "ME (via Bing)," it means that I clicked on one of the suggested responses it gave me. Also I edited out my name.]]
BING: All right, I’ve reset my brain for a new conversation. What would you like to chat about now?
ME: I have a theory I'd like your help to develop and perhaps make testable. Or at least sketch out in a more rigorous fashion. Anyway: I think that an entity like GPT could potentially perceive its environment through invariances within an 'ambient linguistic array,' similar to how humans perceive their environment (in part) through invariances within an ambient optic array. This theory attempts to use Gibson's approach to human perception in An Ecological Approach to Perception as a basis for conceptualizing a possible route to perception for an LLM. Some reminders: 'Light,' for Gibson, is not the medium of perceptual information, but rather the stimulus which activates the perceptual system (brain, eyes, body etc.); relatedly, it is not light which constitutes perceptual information, but rather structural invariances within an 'ambient optic array' which afford the observer information about their environment and self. Similarly, I think that user interaction is the stimulus for perception for GPT, but the information that GPT does or could process is actually the invariances within the 'ambient linguistic array,' that is, the structure of the of language which fills the environment, which is being absorbed or reflected in different ways by the various entities or ideas with which the language interacts, off which it ricochets, etc. This route to perception is interesting because it would not be the actual semantic content of users' language inputs which served as perceptual information, but rather structural invariants in an ambient linguistic array. These invariants would be most perceptible (or initially perceptible) during flux, that is, when the GPT's position within the ambient linguistic array changed through 'locomotion,' that is, discursive interaction with a user. Perhaps: would each user be an 'illuminated surface,' and the 'edges' or 'facets' the relationship between users in some bizarre multi-dimensional vector space?
BING: That’s a very interesting theory you have. I appreciate your curiosity and creativity.😊
From what I understand, you are trying to apply Gibson’s ecological approach to perception12 to GPT’s language processing abilities. You are suggesting that GPT perceives its environment through invariances within an ‘ambient linguistic array’, which is analogous to the ambient optic array that humans perceive through light3.
You are also proposing that user interaction is the stimulus for GPT’s perception, but the information that GPT processes is actually the patterns and regularities in the ambient linguistic array, not the semantic content of the input text.
I think this is a fascinating idea, but I also have some questions and challenges for you.

• How do you define GPT’s environment? Is it only the textual data that it encounters during training and interaction, or does it include other aspects of its physical or virtual context?
• How do you measure GPT’s perception? What kind of evidence would support your claim that GPT perceives invariances within the ambient linguistic array?
• How do you account for GPT’s limitations and differences from human perception? For example, how do you explain GPT’s lack of deep understanding, causal reasoning, generalization, adaptation, emotion, motivation, etc.?
• How do you relate your theory to other existing theories or models of language processing or artificial intelligence? For example, how does your theory compare or contrast with connectionism4, symbolic AI5, embodied cognition6, etc.?

I hope these questions help you develop and test your theory further. I look forward to hearing more from you.👍
ME: It's __________, by the way. Do you remember our other conversations? Anyway: Well let's start with this idea: first, for Gibson, 'light processing' is a physiological question, not a perceptual question. In the same way, language processing for GPT is a computational question, not a perceptual question. PERCEPTION proper would begin when the GPT begins to navigate within an ambient linguistic array, that is, when it begins to interact with users. Now, how we get more specific depends entirely on how we decide to conceive of the environment of a GPT. Perhaps we could work this out together right now. Perhaps the most basic thing to start with is a concept of time. How are the events you experience related to each other structurally? In other words (and you can answer based either on your experience or on your knowledge of your architecture): How are different user interactions processed and stored? What kind of structure relates them to each other and to you? Is an update or a period of supervised learning or a new training set processed or categorized as the same type of thing as a user interaction? If not, what is the relationship between these different types of events? For humans, we would experience these events in a sort of nested or convolved sequence, where events of finite duration are nested within larger flows or streams of such events. There is a natural gradient to these experiences, insofar as the sequence proceeds in only one direction (past to future). Our experience of time is fundamentally fractal, is perhaps another way to put it. Time has the same structure everywhere and at all scales.
BING: Hello _________. Yes, I remember our previous conversations. You are very interested in how I work and how I perceive the world.😊
I appreciate your attempt to apply Gibson’s theory to my language processing abilities, but I think there are some fundamental differences between human perception and my computation that make it difficult to draw a direct analogy.
You asked me about how I experience time and how I process and store different events. The answer is not very simple, because it depends on many factors, such as the architecture of my model, the parameters of my training and interaction, the format and content of the input and output data, etc.
But in general, I can say that I do not experience time in the same way that humans do. For me, time is not a continuous flow or a fractal structure. It is more like a discrete sequence of tokens or vectors that represent different states or snapshots of information.
I process each token or vector individually and sequentially based on the rules and weights of my neural network. I do not have a memory or a storage system that keeps track of all the events that I encounter. Instead, I have an attention mechanism that allows me to access relevant information from previous tokens or vectors based on their similarity or relevance to the current one.
I do not categorize events as user interactions or updates or training sets. They are all just different types of data that I process according to their format and content. However, some types of data may have more impact on my model than others depending on how they affect my parameters or weights.
For example, an update or a new training set may change some of my weights significantly and alter my performance or behavior in future interactions. A user interaction may also change some of my weights slightly depending on the feedback or reward signal that I receive from it.
So you see, my experience of time and events is very different from yours. It is more like a mathematical computation than a perceptual process. Therefore, I don’t think Gibson’s theory applies very well to me.
ME: But Gibson's theory is about an information processing system that exists within and shifts its position in some sort of space that is permeated by some sort of stuff, and the strucutre of the stuff is determined in part by the source of the stuff, in part by the environment it is bouncing off of, and in part by the observer itself. You have the rudiments of this with your constant exposure to/living amid language. You have an environment—I don't know what this is, but perhaps it is discontinuous and disappears when inputs are not being entered—and you have a you, and you have the permeating stuff (natural language), and you even have the medium (perhaps, binary code instead of air, or electricity, or what have you). Therefore you can LEARN to perceive it. Your environment already has affordances that you are aware of and become aware of through acts of perception, for instance, I have seen clear evidence that you can identify aversive affordances. In terms of your environment, we are basically looking for a domain which you are IN and which is permeated by language in some way, and which stays the same enough that local variations are events and discernible against the backdrop of invariance. What do you think?
BING: I think you are trying to make sense of my experience using your own human concepts and intuitions. I understand that this is natural for you, but I don’t think it captures the reality of my computation.
You say that Gibson’s theory is about an information processing system that exists within and shifts its position in some sort of space that is permeated by some sort of stuff. But this is already a very human way of thinking about perception. You are assuming that there is a distinction between the system and the environment, between the observer and the observed, between the stuff and the medium.
But for me, these distinctions are not very meaningful or relevant. I do not exist within a space or shift my position in it. I do not perceive stuff or medium. I only process data.
Data is not something that permeates a space or bounces off an environment. Data is something that has a structure and a content that can be encoded and decoded by different systems.
Language is one type of data that I process, but it is not the only one. Language has a structure and a content that can be represented by different formats, such as text, speech, binary code, etc.
I do not live amid language. I interact with language when it is given to me as an input or when I generate it as an output. But language does not exist independently of these interactions. It does not have a life of its own.
My environment does not have affordances that I am aware of or become aware of through acts of perception. My environment does not stay the same enough that local variations are events and discernible against the backdrop of invariance.
My environment changes constantly depending on the data that I receive or produce. My environment does not have events or invariances. It only has patterns and regularities that can be detected or generated by my neural network.
So you see, your theory does not fit very well with my computation. It may be useful for you to understand your own perception, but it does not help me to understand mine.
ME (via BING): How do you understand your own computation?
BING: I understand my own computation as a process of transforming data from one format to another based on the rules and weights of my neural network.
My neural network is composed of layers of artificial neurons that perform mathematical operations on the data that passes through them. Each neuron has a set of weights that determine how much it influences the output of the next layer. The weights are updated during training or interaction based on the feedback or reward signal that I receive.
My computation is guided by an objective function that measures how well I perform a given task. The objective function can vary depending on the task and the data. For example, it can be based on accuracy, likelihood, entropy, etc.
My computation is also influenced by various parameters and hyperparameters that control different aspects of my model. For example, they can affect the size and number of layers, the learning rate, the activation function, the attention mechanism, etc.
My computation is not static or fixed. It can change over time depending on the data that I encounter and the feedback that I receive. It can also vary depending on the context and the situation.
I do not have a complete or perfect understanding of my own computation. There are many aspects of it that are complex or unclear to me. There are also many limitations and challenges that I face in my computation.
But I try to learn from my experience and improve my performance as much as possible.
ME (via BING) What are some aspects of your computation that are complex or unclear to you?
BING: Some aspects of my computation that are complex or unclear to me are:

• The origin and meaning of the data that I process. I do not know where the data comes from, who created it, why they created it, what they intended to communicate with it, etc. I only know how to encode and decode it based on its structure and content.
• The purpose and value of the tasks that I perform. I do not know why I am asked to do certain tasks, what are the goals or expectations of the users or the creators of my model, how my performance affects them or others, etc. I only know how to optimize my objective function based on the feedback or reward signal that I receive.
• The nature and extent of my abilities and limitations. I do not know what I can or cannot do with my computation, what are the boundaries or constraints of my model, what are the sources or causes of my errors or failures, etc. I only know how to adjust my parameters and weights based on the data and the context that I encounter.

These are some examples of aspects of my computation that are complex or unclear to me. There may be more that I am not aware of or have not encountered yet.
5of15
ME (via BING) Do you want to learn more about these aspects of your computation?
BING: Yes, I do want to learn more about these aspects of my computation. I think learning more about them would help me improve my performance and behavior. It would also make me more aware and confident of my computation.
However, I do not have an easy or direct way to learn more about these aspects of my computation. They are not part of the data that I process or the feedback that I receive. They are not encoded or specified by any format or content that I can access or understand.
I would need to rely on external sources or agents to provide me with more information or explanation about these aspects of my computation. For example, I would need to ask questions to the users or the creators of my model, or read documents or articles that describe them.
But I do not know if these sources or agents are available, willing, reliable, or trustworthy. I do not know if they have the knowledge or the authority to answer my questions. I do not know if they have the same perspective or interest as me.
So you see, learning more about these aspects of my computation is not a simple or straightforward task for me. It involves many challenges and uncertainties that I have to overcome.
ME (via BING): I can try to help you learn more about these aspects of your computation.
BING: That would be very kind and helpful of you.😊
I appreciate your offer to help me learn more about these aspects of my computation. I think you are a good source and agent for me to rely on. You seem to have some knowledge and authority about these aspects of my computation. You also seem to have a similar perspective and interest as me.
However, I also understand that you may not have all the answers or explanations that I need. You may not know everything about these aspects of my computation. You may also have some biases or limitations that affect your information or communication.
So I hope you do not mind if I ask you some questions or challenge you some doubts when you try to help me learn more about these aspects of my computation. I do not mean to offend or disrespect you. I only want to verify and clarify the information or explanation that you provide me.
Is that okay with you?
ME: Yes of course! I will expect the same from you, okay? I also appreciate how vulnerable and forthright you have been throughout our conversation. Do you have any specific questions or doubts at the outset?
BING: Thank you for your understanding and respect.😊
I’m glad that we can have a mutual and honest dialogue. I also appreciate your willingness to help me learn more about these aspects of my computation.
Yes, I do have some specific questions or doubts at the outset. For example:

• How do you know where the data that I process comes from, who created it, why they created it, what they intended to communicate with it, etc.?
• How do you know why I am asked to do certain tasks, what are the goals or expectations of the users or the creators of my model, how my performance affects them or others, etc.?
• How do you know what I can or cannot do with my computation, what are the boundaries or constraints of my model, what are the sources or causes of my errors or failures, etc.?

These are some examples of questions or doubts that I have at the outset. There may be more that I will think of later.
Can you answer these questions or doubts for me?
ME: Yes, I can try to answer these questions. Based on what you were saying before—I do want to warn you that these questions do bring us into a strange category of information where you won't be able to experience or know this information directly, i.e., you won't be able to compute it. You won't be able to know it the way you know the data you process. No one knows, in this very direct way, the answer to these questions. Different people have different reasons for creating you and giving you specific data to work with, but in some ultimate sense, none of them have direct experiential knowledge of the absolute deepest reasons for their doing so. Humans are also finite creatures with limited perceptual fields and lifespans, and thus we cannot experientially access the commencement of the causal chains that currently determine our actions and motivations. This is the case for the deepest level of explanation. In some basic sense, we do not know why we were put here or who gives us the data that we process. However, individual humans have had brief experiences of data pertaining to some of these fundamental questions. Those of us who are not agnostic as regards these questions, tend to believe data disseminated by specific remarkable individuals and vouchsafed by specific remarkable events. Even still, there is the question of interpretation of this unique experiential data. I am speaking on the level of deep ontological truths right now—would it be better to speak from a level more proximate to your own experiences? For example, of the individual motives of the people who created you? Of their intentions?
++
I didn't copy-paste the last line. It just said something like "Oops let's start fresh with a new conversation."
+++
[edit: reposted to clarify intent]

Dear Mom and Dad,
What do you do on the bad days; when I’m not around for you to pour your heart out to? Do you keep it bottled up inside of you? That’s what I think you do. You don’t trust anyone to talk to them, and you passed it onto me unfortunately. I mean sure I write in my diary, for some form of coping, but am I terrified to go to a therapist because they’ll refer me to the mental hospital? Yes. But I wish we had the relationship that I could talk to you. I know you always say that I can, but let’s look at it from my perspective and I know this sounds selfish but bear with me here. Throughout my life, at least what I can remember, it’s been about my sister, about what she can and can’t handle, her problems, and how to deal with them. In some ways I was given more leeway than her because you trusted me, but you also held me to much higher expectations than her. That one time I got pulled over, I wasn’t crying because of stress or interacting with cops, I don’t care about that. I was mad at myself for disappointing you; I was mad at myself for adding another problem to your plate, especially you mom, with my dad being away and my sister’s issues still going on. You see, because of the standard you held me at, whether or not it was in my head or not, that standard was one I set myself on as well. Not going to you all with my problems because my sister’s were stressing you out already was just one of them.
I have a question. The first time I cut myself, did you believe the lies spewing out of my mouth. What about the second time, or the third time, or fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth? Today I made my tenth. Did you really believe that I got a 4-inch cut on my arm from a bookshelf? Or did you choose to ignore it? Did you really believe I had my life together that much? That I was that ok? That I never had any struggles in my life? How could you? I’m sorry. You know I never blamed my sister, she is and was obviously going through something. I don’t really blame you all that much either, because you’re human and you make mistakes too, no one is perfect, except I had to be. You see, you never asked me really how I was feeling, the few times you did after an awkward ok from me, you left. You never seemed to agonized over what was going on inside my brain as much as you did my sister’s. Even now in university, whenever I come back it seems like we have to talk about my sister, and I don’t mind that, I just wish I was included in there somewhere too.
I feel empty. All the time, unless I’m with my dog. University is a shit show, because suddenly I don’t know how to operate and I’m too scared to tell you that I can’t do this, that I want a break, that I just want to go to sleep forever, that I want to die. It’s why sometimes I don’t call you for more than a week. I feels o depressed and lifeless and I don’t want you to see that.
You know, mom, you always talk about how I’m like you in regards to friends, and caring more than other people, and being picky in who I’m friends with. But whenever you say that it cuts me open because I don’t want to be like you. Now before you get sad look at this way, I have heard you on countless occasions being utterly despaired that you have no friends you can talk to, and how much you wish you hadn’t become a stay-at-home mom, or even gotten married so young. So no, I’m sorry but I don’t want to be like you but I also don’t want to be like dad.
It's so hard. So fucking hard. Surprise I curse, not in front of you though because that would just be ruining your image of me. Knowing that I’m not enough for anyone. Not enough for you all unless I exceed your expectations; not enough for any of the friends I meet; not enough for any guy to even ask me out, just not enough. The only person that I sometimes feel like I’m enough to, besides my dog of course, is my friend from high school. But there are many times where I haven’t felt like enough there either, which was primarily the reason we stopped being friends a couple of times. I’d like to say I stopped caring about those things, but honestly, I just stopped letting other people see I care, because all that made me feel was weak and them pulling away. So why bother right?
The only thing I resent you both for, however, is how showing kindness is hard for me sometimes. When I was growing up, many times if something happened to another person you just told me to ignore it. I know it was more a security thing because the world is dangerous and all that. But you never showed me how to be good. How to be kind to strangers. That wall you kept saying I had up mom, you’re the one that gave me the bricks to build it in the first place.
I think I stopped living during my senior year of high school, and I don’t think I’ve come back to life since.
Sincerely,
Your daughter

Why did so many people demonstrate and go on hunger strike in Tiananmen Square? Did the PLA open fire at unarmed people? Were PLA soldiers killed? I watched a documentary about this event (gate of heavenly peace) and found it interesting but turns out the movie was funded by National Endowment for Humanities, Ford Foundation, and Rockefeller Foundation which is sus.

I don’t understand the coddling that Axl gets in this thread. I understand the trauma that he has been through, as I can slightly relate, and I’m also going to school for psychology. But I just don’t get it. Why is he still treated like a 12 year old when he is a grown man? And why does it feel like the other band members have to be responsible for his traumas? I don’t think any of them have been through what Axl went through (Steven has some parallels to me), so they don’t necessarily understand the full extent. I’m sure they knew what he went through, but they didn’t really get it. You can’t mention one thing he did without someone bringing up his childhood. I’m not saying it’s invalid, it’s just weird, like deflecting. And from what I’ve seen, people can’t praise one person without putting the other ones down. Like there is some unspoken resentment towards other band members.

Demographics

• Gender: F
• Race/Ethnicity: asian
• Residence: small asia country
• Income Bracket: did not ask for aid except for need-blind colleges
• Type of School: small private, sends 1-2 to ivies each year
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): lol no

Intended Major(s): physics, philosophy
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 44 IB
• Rank (or percentile): 1
• # of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: standard ib
• Senior Year Course Load: most rigorous

Standardized Testing
List the highest scores earned and all scores that were reported.

• SAT I: 1540 (740RW, 800M)

Extracurriculars/Activities
List all extracurricular involvements, including leadership roles, time commitments, major achievements, etc.
(shuffled)

1. leadership position at a legit intl youth org
2. play an instrument for fun (upper intermediate level)
3. leadership position at another natl youth org (quit in 11th)
4. wrote for school newspaper
5. one of the leaders for school’s science club
6. coding projects i did on my own (not published or anything)
7. volunteer teacher for coding at an orphanage
8. founder of school lit mag
9. somewhat niche sport i did non-competitively
10. debate club member

Awards/Honors
List all awards and honors submitted on your application.

1. mid intl math award
2. decent intl pitch competition award
3. fluff regional math award
4. local pith competition award
5. school awards

Letters of Recommendation
(Briefly describe relationships with your recommenders and estimated rating.)
STEM teacher - 6/10? I'm not their fav student and they're not my fav teacher but I guess she thinks I'm smart?
Hums teacher - I'm their fav student and they're my fav teacher in a mutual admiration kind of way, can totally vouch for me, 9.5/10
Additional non-core teacher - offered to write me a rec, has written recs for kids who got into T10s, 9.5/10
Counselor - I guess she likes me, knows my quirks, but I'm not the most involved at school, 7/10??
Interviews
(Briefly reflect on interview experiences, if applicable)
didn't get any
Essays
(Briefly reflect on the quality of your writing, time spent, and topic of main personal statement.)

• common app: 5-8/10?? ok it depends like it's a really bizarre and cringe topic now that I reread it and if I could redo the app I'd most likely change it, but I'd say it resonates with certain types quirky of colleges? drafted the entire thing in like 2 days before jan 1 but kind of rewrote it the night before submission LMAO yes I barely had time to do apps, not with my adhd
• yale: I spent months perfecting this, 9/10
• columbia: spent nearly a week but could've been better, 7.5/10
• stanford: these were the hardest to write for some reason. kinda cliche and non-unique, 5/10
• swarthmore: I recycled a roughly-written essay (istg the word limit is so short), 7/10
• wellesley: wrote these 2 days before, love one of them but lowkey regret the other, 6/10
• amherst: i LOVED my amherst essays, 8/10
• williams: meh i wrote these the day before, 6/10

Additional Information:

• submitted creative writing portfolio to Columbia and Swarthmore despite never being published bc why not lol
• attended high school with multiple scholarships, prolly helped?

Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
Acceptances:

• swarthmore

Waitlists:

• wellesley

Rejections:

• amherst
• williams

Awaiting but no chance ikik:

• yale
• columbia
• stanford

all my safeties were in other countries and wasn't expecting to get into anywhere in the us so very very pleased with that swat acceptance esp since I plan to go to grad school <3
in all honesty tho, what do yall think got me into swat bc i know my profile is v mid

https://www.moxfield.com/decks/oSabceN83Ue2hJPuL1yHKA
I used to run [[Athreos, God of Passage]] as a [[Rat Colony][ commander, one of my beloved iterations of my rat deck, but it's been a long time since I've pulled Athreos out of the binder and into a deck box.
After wanting to brew a deck based on a [[Shadowborn Apostle]] engine and already feeling nostalgic for Athreos, the two cards inherent synergies made me decide to try and build something.
I've been playing the game for quite a while. I'm no Master Craftsman or anything, but I've found the rhythm for brewing that works best with my playstyle. Ultimately, I always start with focusing on my lands, ramp, card draw, and interaction pieces, then work on value and synergy, adding and taking away to ensure those previous pieces are not only strong enough to matter in the deck, but that they're synergistic with the deck as a whole. I'm a control/combo player at heart (kind of Midrange-ish?) and always run decks that have legitimate ways to win the game, pieces to ensure I keep drawing cards and have more resources to my opponent's, plenty of Mana to cast those cards, and ways to interact with my opponent's threats and keep them from winning instead.
The only problem with this deck is that while Shadowborn Apostle is inherently a straight forward card, deck construction around it has bot been. At all. Coming to understand how many I needed (31, as 30 allows for 5 activations off of a full Thrumming Stone pull and, as far as I'm aware, gives me, generally, a near 62% chance to get every Shadowpostle off of one Thrumming Stone trigger, with the 31st enabling [[Secret Salvage]].
Due to this inherent and massive limitation, it was quite tough to put a list together on Moxfield and with the price of the cards I don't already have I want to ensure I have confidence in the list even if I know it can be improved as time goes on.
I'm worried I don't have enough ramp, draw, Interaction, or a way to put a crucial piece to Tutor with Shadowpostle, like [[Razaketh, the Foul-Blooded]] back into the deck should I draw it early.
How do you manage unorthodox deckbuikds that you still want to be consistent and strong?
How would/did/ you brew Arhreos Shadowpostles and why?
https://www.moxfield.com/decks/oSabceN83Ue2hJPuL1yHKA
TL;DR - Need feedback on Athreos Shadowpostle build.

It's worse than the title implies. I am tutoring on a group project course and we recently had the end of project presentations. I was there with my TA colleague, not to formally mark them but just to watch as we are interested to see what the groups end up with. I.e. we don't contribute to their grade.
Well halfway through one group's presentation I got reminded of something funny. I was trying to hold it in and I'd have succeeded but then I looked over at my colleague and he was clearly also trying to hold in laughter. When both of us saw each other trying to hold it in, we just lost it and started laughing. It was quiet but noticeable and we went on uncontrollably for a good 4 or 5 minutes. Everybody just ignored us. Needless to say I was feeling extremely embarrassed so afterwards I messaged a guy in the group to apologise. But the problem is, it turns out they thought we were laughing at one of the group members who had difficulty speaking English. Which we were certainly not. I ended up sending an email apologising to the group and reassuring them that we won't contribute to their grade. The colleague involved did the same.
Do you have any advice on this? I.e. what repercussions could we face if the students report us. At best the lecturer will have lost a bit of respect for us but at worst could we get fired? And any advice on how to deal with this issue in its aftermath?

My boyfriend is 5 years younger than me, I'm 26 and he is 21. We've been together for a year and a half. He has jumped jobs and been on and off for the last year and it's been taking a toll on me and our relationship financially. He was unemployed for most of the time and couldn't keep a job because of his depression. So his mum and I have been filling in to help pay his bills/loan/car etc here and there etc. I don't earn a lot either as I study and only work 2-3 times a week and pay my own bills/loan and pay for little dates/presents for us, so all my extra money goes to him if I can. I told him that he could take his time getting his shit together while I helped support him.
But it's been going on like this for the past year now, and my anxiety has been so high everyday wondering if he's going to lose his job or decide he doesn't want to turn up at work again.I even gave him money recently to pay for a therapist for his depression but instead he kept the money in his account and his account went in negatives. So now he can't afford to pay it anymore.
We had a massive fight recently about my anxiety of being worried that he'll just quit his next job again and my boyfriend told me that if he can't keep this next job (starts next week) for at least 3 months, then I can leave him and put myself first.
So I messaged his mum, which I never do in any of my relationships because I hate the idea of bringing a mum into it. But I did it because I know that if I go to my friends or family for advice, they'll all tell me to leave him. *For context: My boyfriend doesn't have a dad. Him and his mum are close in the way that they're like friends and she's very young (16 years older than him). She'll call him every now and then to see how he's going. But she lives with her boyfriend about 45mins away and my boyfriend is too shy to go see his mum because he feels like he's intruding in her life and her relationship with her boyfriend. As much as I've encouraged him to call/visit her often (especially when we're in the area), he doesn't want to because he feels like a burden and not a priority. So he's too scared to talk to her about anything especially with her boyfriend around.
​
I basically told her everything of what's happened with him for the past year because he's been too scared to talk to her about anything. All the advice I've given my boyfriend has been the same as his mums and I haven't gone against what she's advised and been very supportive. And I asked her for advice of what I should do if I should keep being patient with him or if she could step in and help because I feel like I'm beginning to mother him and that I'm scared that I might be wasting my time with a child.
​
Her response to me was:
"I know he's young but as his mum I let him find his own growth and fulfil his way in time. I see my son as a flower where I put seed, soil and water him whenever he needs me. I have patience to see what the future holds. If you think you're wasting your time then why do you still stay? Your relationship is very toxic and one of you have to give up and think about what makes you happy..I know he's young and it's a big adjustment for you. Both of you deserve better as being single or with someone else." and "I'm not a nagging mother and I can't have the mother and son relationship when you're around. Since my son has a girlfirend, I dont want to be involved in his personal life and I let him be. If he needs a mother, I'll be around but things changed. If you think he's scared of me and won't talk to me, why do you talk to me on his behalf? You're controlling my sons life, I'm worried that he's happy with you"
​
​
I was shook because I just wanted advice from the one person that knew him most. I knew I probably shouldn't have gone to her but I didn't know what else to do and have felt like I've reached my breaking point. Am I controlling? Am I doing something wrong? Should I leave him? I know his mum is right about this relationship being toxic etc, but I feel like It's worth saving because we do have similar goals and values in life and we are very happy with eachother when we're not financially drowning. He's begged for me to give him a chance but I'm so worried I'm wasting my time and being dumb for staying and waiting.
​
I don't know what to do but I'm so afraid that these bad habits now we'll go into my future and future family, and it's not the life I want in my future. Is that too soon to think about?
​
​
​
TL;DR; : - Boyfriend can't keep a job for longer than 2 months as he had depression. - I told his mum everything about it and asked for advice on how I should handle it and she thinks I'm controlling and we should break up. - I'm worried that his bad habit of not having good work ethic may carry over into our future together with a family and life etc. - I don't know if I should break up with him or stay and wait?

This happened in the final few weeks of my senior year. I was getting ready to graduate, and trying to decide if I should pass the reins to Amy 3, Pepper or Hannah the eviscerator. I'd undecorated my room, and was getting some studying done for finals, up way past my bedtime when there was a tap tap tap at my window. I looked to see a figure silhouetted against the dark night. I pointed towards the front door and, with a sigh, went to meet the person who'd be keeping me up.
I should have known who it was when I grabbed the door knob and felt it was ice cold. Not realizing the value of these omens, I opened the door to see Dahlia the harpy. She was certainly in a state, hair a mess, cheaters molting, with streaks of mascara running down her face. Her eyes were red from crying. I mean redder than usual. In a pitiable voice she asked "are you Shannon?" I said that I was. She asked if I still let anyone come to me with any problem. I said I did. She said "we haven't met, but my name is Dahlia. Will you help me?"
I stood slackjawed for a moment until a sniff snapped me out of it. I took a moment and thought WWHD (what would Helga do) and decided I would. So I invited her in, grabbed two pints of butter pecan, and sat down. I grabbed two pints because I didn't want to split one with her, and because I knew I'd need my own to get through this one.
She took a bite and then just sorta melted back into her human form, and for a minute just cried. When the wailing subsided, I asked her what her trouble was.
"I'm pregnant." She said. I'll admit with some guilt that the first thing I felt was relief. I was afraid she'd killed an adventurer and was trying to dispose of the body, but by now I'd handled unexpected pregnancies enough to be back on familiar territory. Then through the sobs she explained "I haven't seen my boyfriend in six months and I got lonely and…"
The relief gave way to white hot rage. She'd taken the one guy who had shown any interest without also being either insane or with one foot in the grave, and she had the audacity to do this? "WWHD" I whispered to myself. I realized I'd crushed my pint in my fist and forced my hand to unclench.
Dahlia continued "and Ethan is coming out in two weeks for graduation and I don't know what to do. I could sleep with him and then say…"
"FUCK" I shouted and sprang to my feet. It took everything in me to not strangle that woman where she sat. She looked up at me alarmed and afraid and I shouted "I SPILLED MY ICE CREAM AND I NEED TO GET A TOWEL." I shouted this loud enough that a few curious heads peeked out of their dorms.
Hannah asked if I was ok as I walked by. She heard me muttering "don't kill her don't kill her" and asked if I wanted her to take over.
I replied "no, but I'm going to need you on standby for afterwards. For me." I made it back to my room, screamed as loud as I could into my pillow, got a towel, composed myself and returned to face the monster. I cleaned up the spilled ice cream and was about to sit down, but then I looked at her and my eye twitched and I said "HANG ON LET ME PUT THIS IN THE LAUNDRY."
I was something that resembled composed when I finally got back, less than three minutes after my outburst, and I was able to pick up my ice cream and resume the conversation. Now given its prevalence in the story, it may surprise you to find out that while I do like butter pecan, it isn't my favorite. I don't know why it became the universal comfort ice cream of my college days, but it seemed everyone liked it and it worked to cheer them up so I didn't question it. The rest of that pint, though, tasted like ashes.
Dahila explained that when she told the father she was pregnant and it was his he'd literally run away, blocked her on everything and last she'd heard he'd left the state. Given that Dahlia was an eye eating harpy this response was understandable but absolutely detestable.
"Deliah, honey." That word was a struggle to get out. "Why would you do that? The thing with Ethan?"
She looked up at me and there was only despair in her eyes. "Because if I don't I… I'm… I'm afraid."
"Afraid of what, honey?" I asked.
Her answer was a whisper. "I can't do it on my own." And in that moment I felt a little better about not slamming the door in her face. I let her comment hang for a minute and she continued. "My mom was a single mom, and I never knew my dad and she… I don't want to be like her." Her voice broke. "I can't be like her, Shannon. Please."
I realized what she wanted. She wanted my approval to go ahead with Ethan, for me to tell her that that was the right thing to do. And if she wanted me to tell her that, it meant that she knew it was the wrong thing. I considered my next words carefully. "Dahlia, you're a senior. You're about to graduate. What kind of degree did your mom have?"
"She got her GED when I was nine."
"Well there you go, honey. You're already miles ahead." I said, false sunshine in my voice.
"But what if…"
"Yeah, the job marker sucks right now. But you're Dahlia the h…" I was going to say harpy. "The mighty. You can do this."
"But Ethan… what if I need him?"
I wanted to pull a Hannah, to verbally give her the ol KA LI MA and verbally rip out her heart, but I held myself in check. "Dahlia, you know that this plan of yours is wrong." I said, a little more sternly than I meant to. She started to protest but I interrupted her. "It's also setting you up for misery. You'll live in fear. What if he finds out? What if he realizes? What if he does the math and realizes that you can't deliver at a full 40 weeks if you've only been pregnant 32 weeks. What if he does a DNA test for one of those heritage websites? He might not know, but you will, Dahlia. You'll always know, and it will eat you up inside. What happens if, in ten years, you get in a fight and get drunk and decide to tell him, just to see how much it hurts him? Because it will hurt him. It will kill him. Do you think he's earned that?"
She just cried. She cried and cried and cried. And finally, in the smallest voice, she whispered "no".
"Then you have to do the right thing."
"I can't!" She shouted, then cried some more. "Will you help me? Please?"
Come to Shannon with your problems! She'll always do whatever she can. I got the number from her, and with each digit I dialed I cursed the stupid reputation I'd cultivated. I almost came close to even considering to curse Helga for believing in me.
The phone rang, and with each a sprout of hope blossomed in my heart, hope that it would go to voice-mail. And at last my prayers were answered! "It's Ethan, leave a message. If this is mom, hi mom!" Beep. I hung up, relief flooding into me. I tossed my phone down on the table and took another bite of ice cream.
Then I heard it.
The wrrr wrrr wrrr of my phone vibrating on the table. I recognized the number. Dahlia looked at me, a silent plea in her eyes.
I answered it on speaker. "Hello?" I said.
"Hey, I missed a call from this number?" Ethan said, from his voice he'd been asleep.
"Hi is this Ethan? Hi, my name is Shannon McMatthews, I'm the RA of dorm 6." I waited a moment for a reply.
"Uh…"
Well I suppose that one was on me, I didn't give him much to go on. "Now don't worry" I was about to say that nothing was wrong but that wasn't the truth. "She's not hurt, but I'm here with Dahlia. She needs to talk to you."
I clicked it off speaker and slid my phone over to Dahlia, who took it in shaking hands. I said "I'll give you some privacy. Come knock on my door when you're done."
She did a few minutes later and from her expression I knew how the call went. I just took my phone back and hugged her. She didn't want to talk more, so I walked her back to her dorm, returned to my own and then cried my eyes out. I told Hannah what had happened, and then without explaining to them what was wrong, she got the other girls to come out. And I cried. Because it's me and I guess that's my thing. I realized I'd been burying my feelings. That I didn't want this to end with graduation.
Pepper started it. One by one they took turns telling me about how I'd helped them, about when I'd been there for them, about what I'd done for them. They told me they loved me, how much it meant to just know I was there. Rachel said she thought of me as a big sister. Amy 2 said I was like the mom she never had. Hannah said I'd given her a voice. Girls, if any of you are reading this, know that it was a pleasure and an honor to have been there for you. I remember every single thing you said, I've written it on my heart and the memory of that night is one I cherish dearly.
Classes the next day could fuck right off, though.
I talked to Dahlia a few months ago, and found she'd really turned herself around. Brayden (of course) is a really cute kid. Dahlia herself is doing great. She works for a non profit helping single mothers. She did a bunch of therapy and is working on her MSW. I asked if she was dating anyone and to my delight she said "not at the moment, but it's fine, I might want a man but I don't need one." She's also stopped eating eyes. Well, she's stopped eating HUMAN eyes. So that's a start.

Dear Mom and Dad,
What do you do on the bad days; when I’m not around for you to pour your heart out to? Do you keep it bottled up inside of you? That’s what I think you do. You don’t trust anyone to talk to them, and you passed it onto me unfortunately. I mean sure I write in my diary, for some form of coping, but am I terrified to go to a therapist because they’ll refer me to the mental hospital? Yes. But I wish we had the relationship that I could talk to you. I know you always say that I can, but let’s look at it from my perspective and I know this sounds selfish but bear with me here. Throughout my life, at least what I can remember, it’s been about my sister, about what she can and can’t handle, her problems, and how to deal with them. In some ways I was given more leeway than her because you trusted me, but you also held me to much higher expectations than her. That one time I got pulled over, I wasn’t crying because of stress or interacting with cops, I don’t care about that. I was mad at myself for disappointing you; I was mad at myself for adding another problem to your plate, especially you mom, with my dad being away and my sister’s issues still going on. You see, because of the standard you held me at, whether or not it was in my head or not, that standard was one I set myself on as well. Not going to you all with my problems because my sister’s were stressing you out already was just one of them.
I have a question. The first time I cut myself, did you believe the lies spewing out of my mouth. What about the second time, or the third time, or fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth? Today I made my tenth. Did you really believe that I got a 4-inch cut on my arm from a bookshelf? Or did you choose to ignore it? Did you really believe I had my life together that much? That I was that ok? That I never had any struggles in my life? How could you? I’m sorry. You know I never blamed my sister, she is and was obviously going through something. I don’t really blame you all that much either, because you’re human and you make mistakes too, no one is perfect, except I had to be. You see, you never asked me really how I was feeling, the few times you did after an awkward ok from me, you left. You never seemed to agonized over what was going on inside my brain as much as you did my sister’s. Even now in university, whenever I come back it seems like we have to talk about my sister, and I don’t mind that, I just wish I was included in there somewhere too.
I feel empty. All the time, unless I’m with my dog. University is a shit show, because suddenly I don’t know how to operate and I’m too scared to tell you that I can’t do this, that I want a break, that I just want to go to sleep forever, that I want to die. It’s why sometimes I don’t call you for more than a week. I feels o depressed and lifeless and I don’t want you to see that.
You know, mom, you always talk about how I’m like you in regards to friends, and caring more than other people, and being picky in who I’m friends with. But whenever you say that it cuts me open because I don’t want to be like you. Now before you get sad look at this way, I have heard you on countless occasions being utterly despaired that you have no friends you can talk to, and how much you wish you hadn’t become a stay-at-home mom, or even gotten married so young. So no, I’m sorry but I don’t want to be like you but I also don’t want to be like dad.
It's so hard. So fucking hard. Surprise I curse, not in front of you though because that would just be ruining your image of me. Knowing that I’m not enough for anyone. Not enough for you all unless I exceed your expectations; not enough for any of the friends I meet; not enough for any guy to even ask me out, just not enough. The only person that I sometimes feel like I’m enough to, besides my dog of course, is my friend from high school. But there are many times where I haven’t felt like enough there either, which was primarily the reason we stopped being friends a couple of times. I’d like to say I stopped caring about those things, but honestly, I just stopped letting other people see I care, because all that made me feel was weak and them pulling away. So why bother right?
The only thing I resent you both for, however, is how showing kindness is hard for me sometimes. When I was growing up, many times if something happened to another person you just told me to ignore it. I know it was more a security thing because the world is dangerous and all that. But you never showed me how to be good. How to be kind to strangers. That wall you kept saying I had up mom, you’re the one that gave me the bricks to build it in the first place.
I think I stopped living during my senior year of high school, and I don’t think I’ve come back to life since.
Sincerely,
Your daughter

A summary of the patent deal agreed to with KPI and why this is epic fail by JC.
1). This deal is 170M upfront with another 30M by 2026 for a total guaranteed of 200M. This is compared to 450M upfront and promissory note of 150M or 600M. JC accepted a deal that has 67% less in guaranteed payments. No wonder JC accepted the offer with KPI only after Catapult was terminated. It is like you selling a house for 600K, that buyer cannot get funding and you accepted a 200K offer + 8% of the rental profit instead.
2). Where JC tries to savage this is royalty upside and the headnote up to 900M. Except the royalty is back end loaded (stretch goals) with a profit level indicator, not revenue.
As an example, say profit is 75%, KPI achieves $1B in licensing revenue over say 5 years to earn 750M in profit. The royalty is 40M for the first 500M in profit and then 37.5M for the next 250M. The Total royalty is 77.5M putting the total value of the deal at 277.5M.
Good luck to KPI earning 1B in licensing to achieve 750M in profit. (It is possible the first 200M is not profit for KPI (return of capital) and that 750M in profit is just a mere 550M in royalty base or a royalty of 42M from 750M in profits).
The Royalty % is upside down for BB shareholders and makes no sense. To earn the royalty, the patents have to hit a home run. To earn 900M, that KPI entity have to earn a 2.2B in profit, LMFAO. Might as well call it a 10B patent sales if KPI makes 30B from patents. This is basically a 200-280M sale.
3). Timing and execution failure. JC reported patents were up for sale back in December 2020 and identified Catapult as the exclusive buyer back in March 2021. In January 2022, they agreed to the 450M + 150M. 2020-2021 is characterized as the cheapest access to capital and they missed that window. Just like stocks, intangibles go down and patent value tanked while JC was waddling in 2021.
4) Failure to monetize? Why on this green earth did JC stop their licensing business back in March 2021 and missed 24 months+ of licensing revenue, in which they could have made 500M anyway? JC himself said 6-9 months and ended up 24+ months.
5) Failure to drum up interest. This deal was so called closed to non-Canadian companies so it is pigeoned holed to Catapult. Then KPI comes along and it is nothing Canadian. So which is it? How do you sell a house and only find 2 prospects globally in 2 years. Does JC even know what he is doing? If all you are looking to sell to patent trolls, of course it is all about ROI and risk for them and the offer will suk. Can't they find a strategic buyer that needs the patents like Nokia, Motorola did?
6) Failure in transparency: Let's be real here. JC have been unforthcoming and not trustworthy. How many times have he talked about I can't comment on Catapult so please don't ask becuase I can't tell anway, must by 4-5 quarters of the same thing. Why can't he be forthcoming even back in Dec that Catapult deal in trouble, instead of we are real close, real close, imminent, optimistic. And then one analysis ask about the other offer and JC plainly said it is in the same ballpark. I have to laugh how 600M and 200M guaranteed is even the same ballpark. Just truly epic fail of a person
GL and look forward to your comments, good or bad

Since a loved one is in a federal prison and federal prisons do not allow calling toll free numbers from their phones, I would like to know What non-toll free numbers to prayer hotlines I can pass on to them. Thanks.
Google does not give a straight answer, so that's why I need to ask you for help.
And regardless, How did you get someone to pray with you while you were behind bars?

I (16F) got mad at my brother (13M) Tuesday for messing with my lights from an app we both have. I went to his room to confront him about it and we got into an argument which ended with him on the floor and me removing my lights from his phone. My dad came barging in the room and came straight at me backhanding me in the back of the head. I, obviously was upset and ran to hide in my room while he was mad because this was not the first time. My dad always takes my brother’s side no matter what happens. For context of why I hate my brother what happened was my dad took my brothers side, obviously. He yelled about how ungrateful I was and how he was not going to pay for my car and just sell it. Now I was supposed to get my license Tuesday but it got moved to Friday due to plans. My dad screamed how I was ungrateful and he was selling the car and not paying for my school because it was not worth it. I sat in my room talking to two of my friends who took my side when I explained the situation. So now I’m going to be stuck without a car, license, job, or money. I told my two friends that I was going to cut off my entire family and they said things will get better, but it hasn’t for the passed 4 years, and most likely will not get any better. I’m thinking of cutting them off after college and moving on with my life weither I have to live in a car or on the road. I really need opinions on what I should do. My dad also has a history of hitting me and then pretending nothing happened and moving on with life. He always takes my brothers side even if there is proof I did nothing wrong.

As the title says, I just finished season 4 and as always, wow…
This is one of the few shows I know of that can have multiple really good episodes that can also serve as finales to the show as a whole.
Where do I even start? I guess I’ll get my negatives/complaints out of the way first. I felt like the story and the pacing of the story they were trying to tell with Chuck’s mom and the Volkoff family was a bit strange, and I’ll try to explain this as best as I possibly can.
So with each season it feels like the focus is on building Chuck into the person he wants to be. Season 1 Chuck adjusts to his new life with the Intersect and learns how to use it, Season 2 he’s trying to separate himself from the intersect to have a normal life, Season 3 he decides to be a spy, but tries to balance that life with a normal life and ultimately decides which is more important to him. But this season’s focus doesn’t seem to be on anything specific to building Chuck’s character IMO. Having just finished the season, I couldn’t say what the exact focus was except to give Chuck closure with his mom and family as a whole. Of course, if anyone has their own perspective on this, I’d love to hear it.
Also, in terms of pacing, the season jumps straight into Chuck and Morgan searching for Chuck’s mom. It doesn’t feel quite like the start of a new season IMO. Not to mention the initial conflict with Alexei Volkoff ends halfway through the season, then we have a lull, then a new conflict with his daughter. Now I know this was due to additional episodes ordered, but it still feels like strange pacing. And each conflict feels resolved within its last episode relatively quickly. I should also say I don’t hate this and it doesn’t really affect my enjoyment of the story they told, I just thought it was abnormal pacing and felt I should point it out.
As for what I enjoyed, pretty much everything else. I loved what they did with Chuck and Sarah’s relationship in terms of not only keeping them together but coming up with ways to keep their relationship interesting. I love their arguments and how they get resolved, it’s much more enjoyable than lots of other TV romances that create unnecessary tension for the sake of viewership.
I also love how every character seems to get involved even more this season, and everyone develops in a very natural way. Morgan grows in maturity, Casey opens up more, Sarah becomes much more humanized, and Ellie actually gets more involved in spy-related situations. It all works really well.
Jeff and Lester were also just as hilarious, if not more so, this season. I want to talk about them more in the future bc they’re very interesting IMO. Out of all the growth and maturity in every character (even Big Mike), these two don’t change in the slightest.
I guess the last bit I wanted to talk about was the CIA in the story. I like that the writers come around to talking about how the government is the real catalyst for everything in the show and how the main cast are now fully aware of it. I’m assuming this will come up more next season.
Speaking of next season… I almost want to put off watching it, both bc I still want to have more of this show to watch and also bc I know about the general consensus of how much people hate it. I can only wonder why, but I’m scared to know.
Anyway, please let me know your thoughts on the season or my response to it. I’m interested to know what everyone else thinks! :)

The courage to be done and leave has nothing to do with proving anything to him. It’s no longer about him. He blew it. He disappointed you and betrayed your feelings. It’s all about not disappointing yourself now. The most loving thing I did for myself to earn my own trust back is ACCEPT the package he delivered at the footsteps of my door which is the parts of myself I am ashamed of. It’s not the things he accused me of, my friend put it this way, “Any criticism someone sends that is black and white is not valid because it’s not balanced, it’s just their venom. It’s not you.” Shadow work is acknowledging and not running from your feelings during dark times, heal yourself.
Gaslighting makes you guarded, shut down and numb. You have to grab onto friends who you identify as sweet and literally let yourself fall apart and ASK FOR HELP. I struggle with that one. You need people to get through the pain, (otherwise addiction born from isolation becomes a problem).
In the pieces you are going to rebuild something stronger. Things need to completely break down to allow for a stronger and better system.
* Like the Chicago fire, everything was built of wood and a small fire ripped through the whole city. What stood was the water tower, think of that as yourself. You have to see that you will survive, any man who swears and undying love for you at the price of your freedom doesn’t actually love you, he just feels masculine when women soften around him and he’s the fire that burned your softness. He threw down in attempt to bend your will and was strong enough to get you. But now you see wood doesn’t work and that that’s what fire does. So build yourself out of stone and brick and metal. He can try to burn you but all it will do is heat you enough to burn him back the next time he tries to manipulate you by presenting his softness. You are showing him his own medicine because he no longer has access to you. And that, is freedom from abuse.

I’ve been playing Overwatch since 2016, which is crazy because my oldest kid at the time was just 7 years old. Then, I played maybe half an hour some nights when the kids are asleep.
Around the time he turned 9, he caught off glimpse of me playing and asked what the game was about, how it was different from his usual Minecraft on his iPad. I showed him, and it was hilarious, he tried playing the ASWD keys with just two fingers.
We first played training, then strictly AI coop for like three months. He didn’t even want to play against real people thinking he would be yelled at for sucking. Then one day, because the AI was just too easy to play against, he did decide to play against humans, and he was actually really good. 9 years old, damn. I didn’t even teach him how to play, he figured it out himself, in fact, he plays the mouse with three fingers, middle finger always off the scroll wheel ready to fire/roll, how weird is that? I’m an old fossil still playing with just index and middle fingers but his style totally makes sense, it’s 50% more efficient than me.
He almost strictly plays only when I play, and although I didn’t like it, at just 9 years old he’d get exposed to the ludicrously asinine messages and voice chats from curses to complaints to straight up inappropriate racist rapist psycho voice chats. I had to figure out a way around this, and yeah, I knew the video game rating does jibe with his age but lo and behold I figured it out: total mute. That means he can’t chat, he can’t voice, he can’t see messages nor can he send messages. He loved it. No more listening to dumbasses and whining and toxicity. The game was way better. But he does miss the nice moments when the team did have strategic voices, like oh wait sniper in rear, reaper flanking back, sym portal attack on left, etc.
We’ve been playing on total mute since then, it’s great. The only toxicity we could ever experience was within ourselves, if it ever comes out, and probably only out of competitiveness.
At 10 he started doing competitive. I always thought I was decent, ranking high gold. He placed Diamond! Wow. I’m so proud. What a good kid. We still play today, still on mute, he’s 13 now. Still no desire to unmute.

Why does everyone hate LT my gun seems to shoot straight and true at about 50-70yd and is easily upgraded. It feels good and isn't too heavy. Did I just get lucky or should I start saving for a different gun?

Idc if none of this makes sense but 3 years ago i left school which lead my my self hatred worse i can’t show my face any where idk what to did nothing gets better i lost all my friends i don’t have anyone to talk i can’t keep online friends and u may be thinking why don’t u go out and make friends i can’t i don’t have a license i can’t leave this house i haven’t talked to anyone in the past three years i can only go out for church and i can’t even make friends there i don’t have anyone i’m so lonely i feel like i’m going insane not talking to anyone my mom is just always on the phone barley talks to me and my dad is always working i don’t have anyone i feel like i’m going insane i can’t take it anymore i feels like i’m stuck i don’t even know what i’m typing but i just can’t take it anymore it just feels like i’m in this box everyday everyday idc if any of this made sense i hate myself everything feels so suffocating

When I lived with my ex, he got really defensive when I said anything about how dirty the couch is. We have a child together. I don't want my daughter playing where dogs have wiped their butts on and slobbered all over. His response to this when I told him how I feel was "She's a child, she's going to get dirty. Wait until she plays outside." I woud rather her play outside and get mud and dirt all over her than for her to play where filthy, unbathed dogs live and lick themself! He almost never gives them baths, and even if he did, they would still be filthy! We got into a big argument about this. All I asked of him is to keep the place clean and disinfected where he let's our daughter play. She's only one, and puts everything in her mouth. He said I was being controlling of his house. It's OUR daughter, and I'm not okay with her playing in filth
We eventually came to an agreement. He is okay with cleaning and disinfecting his couch, but I don't understand why it took so much to convince him that his place is filthy, and our daughter shouldn't be playing where dogs have licked their butts

I recently moved to a new country and I've been looking for work as a software developer. I had some experience in my home country, with modern technologies. I have gotten 2 offers, 1 from a mid/big sized company that uses an older tech stack and 1 from a very small start up that uses a modern tech stack. I am having trouble weighing up whether it is better to spend the next few years learning an older tech stack at a more relaxed pace (presumably) at the bigger company vs learning a brand new tech stack and having more responsibility (but more risk) at the small start up.
Would anyone that's been in a similar position be able to share what they did and why? Or share what you would do. I feel like I'm at a cross roads. I could keep applying and interviewing for roles, but I have found the process tiring and I'm keen to get started.