Mein (w26) Mann (m28) und ich haben 2019 groß geheiratet.
So richtig Prinzessinen-Style mit beiden Familien, Freunden und Kollegen, einer freien Trauung im Schlossgarten, Catering, Bar und Party im Schlosssaal.
Es war der schönste Tag unseres bisherigen Lebens und wir beide sind uns einig, dass wir ihn nochmal genau so erleben wollen würden, wenn wir die Möglichkeit hätten.
Ich muss gestehen, dass so eine Hochzeit schon immer mehr mein Traum gewesen ist und weniger seiner. Ich habe, seit ich klein bin, von einer Märchenhochzeit mit meinem Prince Charming geträumt und diesen Wunsch hat er mir ohne zu Zögern von den Augen abgelesen.
Wir haben alle Entscheidungen bezüglich der Planung und dem tatsächlichen Stattfinde gemeinsam getroffen und es gab Aspekte, die uns beide widerspiegeln.
Ich habe ihn also zu nichts gezwungen oder bin ihn irgendwie übergangen - wir haben jede zu treffende Entscheidung gemeinsam getroffen.
Neulich Nacht haben wir uns über eben jenes Thema unterhalten und er hat mir gestanden, dass er unsere Hochzeit zwar sehr genossen hat und sie super schön fand, es aber nicht die Hochzeit war, die er sich vor der tatsächlichen Planung vorgestellt hat.
Er ist eher der minimalistische Typ.
Seine Vorstellungen waren wie folgt:
Wir beide, nett angezogen im Kreis unserer engsten Freunde und meiner nahsten Familie (Eltern, mein Bruder und sein Mann + die Kinder), irgendwo im Park bei schönem Wetter. Die Trauung hätte einer unserer Freunde halten können und meine beste Freundin hätte sich um die Musik gekümmert (sie ist eine fantastische Musikerin, Hobby SInger Songwriter) und danach wären wir alle schön irgendwo essen gegangen. Vorzugsweise Tapas und Cocktails, da mein Mann in Spanien geboren ist und bis er 10 war, auch dort gelebt hat.
Mit so einer kleinen, intimen Hochzeit wäre ich auch total einverstanden gewesen und ich finde die Idee wirklich schön.
Ich habe die letzten Tage überlegt, ob ich ihm seine Traumhochzeit schenken soll.
Er hat mir meine geschenkt, also finde ich das nur fair.
Ob man das dann Hochzeit oder Gelübde-Erneuerung nennt, überleg ich mir noch.
Ich würde ihm gerne einen Antrag machen und ich überlege gerade, wie ich das am besten anstelle.
Sein Antrag war damals 2018 kurz nach unserem Abschluss an einer Hochschule, kurz bevor er die Firma seines Vaters übernommen hat. Wir wollten zusammen als Eheleute in das richtige Erwachsenenleben eintauchen.
Wir waren im Urlaub in Vermont und er hat bei einem Picknick um meine Hand angehalten. Ganz intim - nur wir beide am Waldrand.
Es wird schwer damit gleichzuziehen.
Den einzigen Schmuck den er trägt ist unser Ehering, weshalb ich nicht weiß, ob ich ihm etwas als Symbol geben soll.
Ich bin begeistert von meiner eigenen Idee, aber brüte gerade über der Umsetzung und hatte gehofft, dass ihr ein paar Denkanstöße geben könnt. Habt ihr schonmal sowas gemacht? Wenn ja wie?
Help a girl out!

Hello reddit. Veeeery long story about deep friendship.
I (20F) have a friends, a couple, where my bestie is Ann (22F) - wife and her husband (24M) is my good friend. We have a business together and are very close. I talk with Ann everyday, about work and about personal stuff. We have a lot between us and in our past, even some big mistakes between us but we decided to go in our life together. A little about Ann. She is very hot-tempted person. She can be rude sometimes when something goes wrong, she can be really angry, her emotions are very very strong, both positive and negative. We even noticed I feel her emotions on distance, It made us happy and we felt connected somehow. But I feel it is getting unhealthy. She also, like me, anxious and depressive, but feel she is also something like bdp I dunno. Her emotions are like rollercoaster. A positive ones are soooo strong, but negative are worse. And I am like an empathetic person feel this really hard. if she feels bad her answers are angry, and she won’t ask me how am I doing. She feels bad pretty often last year. Especially towards me, as I am a person who eat all bad emotions of people and try to avoid quarrels. She started to talking about old mistakes which she forgived me for, blaming me, just started being not that caring friend like before. I see she do it with very close people. I didn’t saw it that much before, it was little quarells I never had anyone with. Very intense. But I forgot it fast cause after I say ok lets finish this you are right she will say I love you xx and gave me all that love bombing.
We are also having some troubles at work now and income is not great. So we have to withdraw money in parts like hundred dollars every day or two. Ann and her husb always ask to withdraw saying that they need money for living (each of them have the same part from income as me), and it feels to me our business may finish in debt pretty soon. I told them we don’t have any savings and we need to try withdraw less but they don’t see other option than just lead the same good lifestyle and hope we will make money. We could make, but we also could not. It is not very planned in our field. I feel it affects her mood. A lot of things can affect. And then, she will ruin mine. I feel her mood very deep, even before she writes me.
Last time she wrote me and asked me to help her with work in my day off, her work day. She can often ask me to do something in her work days cause she has to go somewhere and I accept, despite the fact there is her husband in work and he also could help. 90% of time I would answer in a second, always be in touch, if no she will call me and I do everything asap. I could ask her something in her work day too, if she is not answering my text I am ok with it and wait. This time when she asked me I told her I am kinda busy now, and will do it in the evening. The task takes about 30+min of attention to client. She got so angry, started telling me she is very tired from work she is doing everything and all stuff (I do a lot as well, like she). She told me it is 3 min to do when it is not. Then she said ‘ok I will never ask you again thanks’ and started doing it by herself. Also told me I don’t do my HR work good enough and that she wants to change our days off: ‘well then lets everyone will work everyday’. This time I didn’t swallow this shit, like I did before to save peace. I wrote her in a calm mood and asked, how she wants to change our days off? I wrote her like 2-3 sentences about what I do in this work and that I want her to notice it. I was very kind and tried to not hurt her lol. I wrote that I really appreciate her work and I want her to have specific days off (she doesn’t cause she changes with her husband often), and I offered her a few days in a week when we can work together and when we have days off. She got so pissed off and crying telling me ‘I knew you would switch all the conversation to your own, like you always do, for what did you write me what are you doing in the company? I wanted some appreciating, some ‘thank yo u’ words and not all this, now my mood ruined. I didnt even talk about you, I talked about me!’. Well I got shocked this time, cause she told me I am not doing my work good enough in some part, she wants to change our days off meaning that everyone should work the same amount of time. I work the same as her, and she works for her husband often, it is not my problem. Of course I got protecting and I told her what I do in work. Without any rudness. She ended up crying telling me I ruined her mood. When I told her okay lets forget she sent me kisses and love messages…. it pissed me off. I felt like my feelings are not even allowed in our convo. She often speaks about her. Btw she did that task by herself that day and it took a lot of time so she still had to ask for my help...
Another freaking situation today, which made me write this post. We have a dancing lessons we go only together. It is cheaper to go to a group lessons where only we are both and teacher. And for me is better to go to group lessons at all. She often cancels training and I am ok with it. Lately she started to cancel training 30 min before it started. I cancelled with her, then I went by myself ones. Understood it is too exhausting for me, I dont have much to talk with this teacher so I feel some tension, and I also had to pay for this individual lesson separately. Today she wrote me she is in a bad mood 30 min before and she doesn’t know how to go to lesson. I wrote her supportive words, asked what happened, she didn’t answer. I told her we can cancel lesson it’s not a big deal. She asked me to go by myself to not disturb our trainer with another cancelled lesson from her. I told her it costs money and I dont like individual trainings. She got angry saying ‘OK THANKS» sarcastically. I wrote her, that if she want to go separately, she can tell, and I will go to big group training, cause I dont like individual ones. Ann was really, really angry, telling me what is the point for me to go to dancing classes if I dont want to go alone, that I ruined her mood, I made a mess, she had a bad mood now it is worse. That I could go to her home after training and support her. I hate when she saying like this. I feel like my feelings are not important. My opinions. Btw she stopped coming to my home this year and always asked me to come to her to work or do stuff. Quarrels will never end if I dont end this. She can extend this bullshit for very long time and when I started to answer her what I feel, very patient and nice, our quarrels got crazy. I always was the person who stopped this , even in all this situations I told her some words like I understand you have a bad mood and all this stuff. But she never understands me. Even in this situation, she wanted me to do like she wanted. Ann told me she doesn't understand me. I feel used. Every time we have a quarrel, I have strong physical symptoms. Now I feel so cold and shaking and all I want it cry, and sleep, and I dont have any power. I feel not respected, I feel small. She often says she ends up business with us, she leaves but she never does. Happened like 10 times at least. I told her 2nd time in my life, after all that, that I am tired and I dont see what is the point for me to be her friend and work together. That she will feel better without me, if I ruin her mood so often, and everything I say makes her feel worse. She only answered me ‘talk to this shit to your psycho, your brain is messed up… oh now I am wrong? You said me you want to end this friendship! Maybe you feel better without me?’ and all this manipulative stuff. And started to record millions of voicemails. I didn’t listen yet. She wrote ‘Ok stay silent LOL’. I hate when she talks like this to me. She knows it. Should I cut her off? For sure she will try to finish this saying she only had bad mood and I could support her lets forget blah blah. All for her. But rarely she gets me this attention and love I am waiting for, and I forget everything. I am really tired of feeling like this and being someones towel. I dont know what to do. I love her, and understand we are just different and her emotions are maybe veery hard to control for her. She just doesn’t understand me, she doesn’t say sorry if she got angry like she did before. Cause I started tell her how I feel. Her family, she, our work and all we have is a very big part of my life, I love it and appreciate it, but I dont feel same from her. Should I start everything over in my lufe and just leave? I can start new business and move in another country. She doesn't want me to leave maybe because of business or because she doesn't want to stay alone (she also quarrels a lot with husband), maybe she is just bpd, idk, but with all her words I feel I need to leave and it will be better for us both.
Upd: in the end of the last quarrel she told me sorry and that she is depressed and nobody can understand her. I hear this is everytime in the end as an excuse, but I had to spend 4 hrs talking to her patiently about how I understand her feelings while she is angry. She skipped her meds like a month ago, despite the fact she was getting better in therapy. I think I should leave? I love her so much. But I am so tired.

Hey guys. I‘m currently thinking abput what to do with my FXP. I already have Nelson and since I don‘t really like skipping ships, I thought about investing in legendary equipment.
I already have Mino and Yamato while Worcester and Conqueror are on the horizon.
I‘m just not really sure if it‘s worth it and would hope to gain some advice from you guys. I bet people here can tell me which ships really benefit from legendary equipment!

I had a conversation with a buddy on this topic so I thought I’d share some talking points.
Ephesians 2:8 states this - For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.
So what does this mean? If you just believe in Jesus is that it? What does believing in Jesus mean?
Romans 10:9 states- If you declare with your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
When we continue reading it goes on to state this - Romans 10:14-15 - How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15 And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!
You are not obeying God by being “good and loving.” If we love God, we will actively strive to help advance His kingdom as He has changed our hearts.
Let’s look at what John 21:15-19 states -
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” 19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”
Jesus tells Peter if you love me, feed my sheep. Jesus knows that if Peter really loves Him, Peter will continue to spread the gospel when Jesus is no longer physically there. If we truly love Jesus, we will put in effort to try and advance God’s kingdom.
Matthew 28:16-20 is the great commission. It is a command to go out and spread the gospel. If you are struggling with sin, the solution is to produce good fruit so that God will prune you. Look to John 15, when we abide in Jesus, we are pruned to bear more abundant good fruit. If you love God, obey what he told us to do. If you are not putting in effort to evangelize or disciple, you are being disobedient. Even if you think you’ve “conquered all your sin”, if you are not trying to advance God’s kingdom, you are being disobedient. Stopping sinning doesn’t save, only Jesus does. This was a call for everyone, not just for some.
Now let’s look at John 12:26- Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.
Ok great so if we serve Jesus, we will follow Him. To where?
Jesus told us where. Look to Matthew 4:19- And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
If we are going to follow Jesus, we will become fishers of people. It is not our job nor can we change anyone, but it is our duty to spread the gospel and plant the seed. It’s not about the success, as only God can make the change. It’s about our effort in being promoters of God’s kingdom. WE ARE THE PROMOTERS, those who follow Jesus. This is our duty, not just a suggestion.
Finally, I’ll end it with this. I can assure you that whatever sin or problem you think is the biggest, you have bigger fish to tackle. Nothing is holding you back from spreading the gospel. Since so many struggle with porn in this sub, this doesn’t mean you cant preach. By producing good fruit, God will prune you of this sin so you can produce good fruit.
Wait, you mean a sinner can spread the gospel lol? Yes as we all are sinners. You don’t have to be perfect to go out and preach. Look to Philippians 1: 15-18: It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. 16 The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17 The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. 18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
To be clear, this does not mean go sin and do what you want, as well Paul mentions this. This means by bearing good fruit by preaching the gospel, the one that can penetrate the heart, God will prune you of the sin in your life so you can bear more good fruit.
That’s all have a good night and make sure to be Heaven’s biggest promoter.

My mother has recently shifted to a new place and I live with her. Our landlords are extremely conservative, they have loud bhajans playing at 5 am in the morning, so loud that I wake up to them. The pooja goes on the whole day, the MIL of the landlady listens to godmen all day long, and there's an angry Mr Hannyman (saffron) flag at the rooftop (if you know, you know). They have 3 girl children with the last child being developmentally delayed, meaning she is 6 and hasn't developed language, fears noise, doesn't interact with people, can't make eye contact and is still in PG. Auntie is in her early 40s. Typical auntie fights her (eldest)teenage daughter, shames her the entire day for her skin colour, for her dressing sense, for her choice to dance at her friend's party(she called her, "nachaniya") I recently saw a bump on her stomach and she was talking to my mom how badly they're trying for a male child and how her uterus is cursed to only bear a girl child. My question why does that happen? Do people just lack a brain or something? If you see the world outside, you see that you really don't need a male child to run a household. Really, really no. I just can't wrap my head around women actually agree to have 4-5 or even 6 kids to only push a child that has a penis, even when it comes at a cost of having so many kids before that you anyway arent providing for. Seriously!!!! Are the girl children you had before disposable? Please give me your thoughts women of TwoxIndia

I’m going to still hope the best for Court. By nature for normalcy, people ain’t really open to new ‘characters’ (ppl) in a universe thats / was fixed. still cant hold it against him.

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Hello reddit. Veeeery long story about deep friendship.
I (20F) have a friends, a couple, where my bestie is Ann (22F) - wife and her husband (24M) is my good friend. We have a business together and are very close. I talk with Ann everyday, about work and about personal stuff. We have a lot between us and in our past, even some big mistakes between us but we decided to go in our life together. A little about Ann. She is very hot-tempted person. She can be rude sometimes when something goes wrong, she can be really angry, her emotions are very very strong, both positive and negative. We even noticed I feel her emotions on distance, It made us happy and we felt connected somehow. But I feel it is getting unhealthy. She also, like me, anxious and depressive, but feel she is also something like bdp I dunno. Her emotions are like rollercoaster. A positive ones are soooo strong, but negative are worse. And I am like an empathetic person feel this really hard. if she feels bad her answers are angry, and she won’t ask me how am I doing. She feels bad pretty often last year. Especially towards me, as I am a person who eat all bad emotions of people and try to avoid quarrels. She started to talking about old mistakes which she forgived me for, blaming me, just started being not that caring friend like before. I see she do it with very close people. I didn’t saw it that much before, it was little quarells I never had anyone with. Very intense. But I forgot it fast cause after I say ok lets finish this you are right she will say I love you xx and gave me all that love bombing.
We are also having some troubles at work now and income is not great. So we have to withdraw money in parts like hundred dollars every day or two. Ann and her husb always ask to withdraw saying that they need money for living (each of them have the same part from income as me), and it feels to me our business may finish in debt pretty soon. I told them we don’t have any savings and we need to try withdraw less but they don’t see other option than just lead the same good lifestyle and hope we will make money. We could make, but we also could not. It is not very planned in our field. I feel it affects her mood. A lot of things can affect. And then, she will ruin mine. I feel her mood very deep, even before she writes me.
Last time she wrote me and asked me to help her with work in my day off, her work day. She can often ask me to do something in her work days cause she has to go somewhere and I accept, despite the fact there is her husband in work and he also could help. 90% of time I would answer in a second, always be in touch, if no she will call me and I do everything asap. I could ask her something in her work day too, if she is not answering my text I am ok with it and wait. This time when she asked me I told her I am kinda busy now, and will do it in the evening. The task takes about 30+min of attention to client. She got so angry, started telling me she is very tired from work she is doing everything and all stuff (I do a lot as well, like she). She told me it is 3 min to do when it is not. Then she said ‘ok I will never ask you again thanks’ and started doing it by herself. Also told me I don’t do my HR work good enough and that she wants to change our days off: ‘well then lets everyone will work everyday’. This time I didn’t swallow this shit, like I did before to save peace. I wrote her in a calm mood and asked, how she wants to change our days off? I wrote her like 2-3 sentences about what I do in this work and that I want her to notice it. I was very kind and tried to not hurt her lol. I wrote that I really appreciate her work and I want her to have specific days off (she doesn’t cause she changes with her husband often), and I offered her a few days in a week when we can work together and when we have days off. She got so pissed off and crying telling me ‘I knew you would switch all the conversation to your own, like you always do, for what did you write me what are you doing in the company? I wanted some appreciating, some ‘thank yo u’ words and not all this, now my mood ruined. I didnt even talk about you, I talked about me!’. Well I got shocked this time, cause she told me I am not doing my work good enough in some part, she wants to change our days off meaning that everyone should work the same amount of time. I work the same as her, and she works for her husband often, it is not my problem. Of course I got protecting and I told her what I do in work. Without any rudness. She ended up crying telling me I ruined her mood. When I told her okay lets forget she sent me kisses and love messages…. it pissed me off. I felt like my feelings are not even allowed in our convo. She often speaks about her. Btw she did that task by herself that day and it took a lot of time so she still had to ask for my help...
Another freaking situation today, which made me write this post. We have a dancing lessons we go only together. It is cheaper to go to a group lessons where only we are both and teacher. And for me is better to go to group lessons at all. She often cancels training and I am ok with it. Lately she started to cancel training 30 min before it started. I cancelled with her, then I went by myself ones. Understood it is too exhausting for me, I dont have much to talk with this teacher so I feel some tension, and I also had to pay for this individual lesson separately. Today she wrote me she is in a bad mood 30 min before and she doesn’t know how to go to lesson. I wrote her supportive words, asked what happened, she didn’t answer. I told her we can cancel lesson it’s not a big deal. She asked me to go by myself to not disturb our trainer with another cancelled lesson from her. I told her it costs money and I dont like individual trainings. She got angry saying ‘OK THANKS» sarcastically. I wrote her, that if she want to go separately, she can tell, and I will go to big group training, cause I dont like individual ones. Ann was really, really angry, telling me what is the point for me to go to dancing classes if I dont want to go alone, that I ruined her mood, I made a mess, she had a bad mood now it is worse. That I could go to her home after training and support her. I hate when she saying like this. I feel like my feelings are not important. My opinions. Btw she stopped coming to my home this year and always asked me to come to her to work or do stuff. Quarrels will never end if I dont end this. She can extend this bullshit for very long time and when I started to answer her what I feel, very patient and nice, our quarrels got crazy. I always was the person who stopped this , even in all this situations I told her some words like I understand you have a bad mood and all this stuff. But she never understands me. Even in this situation, she wanted me to do like she wanted. Ann told me she doesn't understand me. I feel used. Every time we have a quarrel, I have strong physical symptoms. Now I feel so cold and shaking and all I want it cry, and sleep, and I dont have any power. I feel not respected, I feel small. She often says she ends up business with us, she leaves but she never does. Happened like 10 times at least. I told her 2nd time in my life, after all that, that I am tired and I dont see what is the point for me to be her friend and work together. That she will feel better without me, if I ruin her mood so often, and everything I say makes her feel worse. She only answered me ‘talk to this shit to your psycho, your brain is messed up… oh now I am wrong? You said me you want to end this friendship! Maybe you feel better without me?’ and all this manipulative stuff. And started to record millions of voicemails. I didn’t listen yet. She wrote ‘Ok stay silent LOL’. I hate when she talks like this to me. She knows it. Should I cut her off? For sure she will try to finish this saying she only had bad mood and I could support her lets forget blah blah. All for her. But rarely she gets me this attention and love I am waiting for, and I forget everything. I am really tired of feeling like this and being someones towel. I dont know what to do. I love her, and understand we are just different and her emotions are maybe veery hard to control for her. She just doesn’t understand me, she doesn’t say sorry if she got angry like she did before. Cause I started tell her how I feel. Her family, she, our work and all we have is a very big part of my life, I love it and appreciate it, but I dont feel same from her. Should I start everything over in my lufe and just leave? I can start new business and move in another country. She doesn't want me to leave maybe because of business or because she doesn't want to stay alone (she also quarrels a lot with husband), maybe she is just bpd, idk, but with all her words I feel I need to leave and it will be better for us both.
Upd: in the end of the last quarrel she told me sorry and that she is depressed and nobody can understand her. I hear this is everytime in the end as an excuse, but I had to spend 4 hrs talking to her patiently about how I understand her feelings while she is angry. She skipped her meds like a month ago, despite the fact she was getting better in therapy. I think I should leave? I love her so much. But I am so tired.

Hey Chefs,
I'm relatively inexperienced (~2 years in the restaurant industry) and I recently started at a new place about a month ago. I'm still getting the hang of my daily tasks and definitely improving, but what really bothers me sometimes (and definitely others) is I make dumb decisions when under pressure. Like I hesitate a lot and don't confidently make the correct moves, even though during non-busy times, I think I know what I'm supposed to be doing.
Here's an example, in the middle of a service rush, I had to mix a spicy mayo sauce. I think if you had asked me when things weren't busy, I'd be able to recite the sauce recipe from memory. But, because I was under pressure, I kind of knew it... but was hesitating to actually mix the ingredients together and I spent several seconds just being lost lol... And of course got the heat from head chef LOL
Here's another example. We got avocados from produce delivery while I was in the middle of a semi-busy prep. I noticed some of the avocados were pretty ripe so used the most ripened ones for service and left some of the other ripe ones in the box. I looked in our walk-in fridge, noticed the shelves were pretty packed and there wasn't room for the box of avocados so decided to just leave them out for now and use the other ripe ones first tomorrow - our restaurant goes through avocados super fast, so it shouldn't be a big deal. Welp, head chef noticed the ripe avocados were out and nailed me later on. He spent a couple of minutes re-organizing the walk-in while also complaining to me that I don't prioritize food well enough, which I guess is fair in this situation lol. I guess I probably could've spent those extra minutes to reorganize stuff too, but... idk maybe I felt rushed during prep and don't exactly feel comfortable moving things I'm not familiar with around, especially if it's other kitchen staff's stuff. This situation made me feel a bit discouraged because I noticed the avocados were ripened and picked them out to use first, but the head chef still thinks I don't treat ingredients well :(
I understand maybe it's only been just a month, but I feel like a common pattern has been I usually notice the correct things, know what to do, but either because I rush myself or when others rush me, I make mistakes or just get lost. It also doesn't help that I have a reputation of being slow at what I do :/
Is it really just that I need more time so I can slowly build confidence?
Or is there a fundamental mindset shift I need to make to succeed? I'm also worried about in the future, when I'm more experienced, if I eventually start working at another restaurant, I'll just fall into the same patterns again of being dumb.... even though maybe I'm not that bad lol.
TLDR: I'm an idiot when I'm nervous. IS THERE A WAY TO CHANGE THIS?
Hope other people have gone through this as well. Thanks in advance!

I'm venting.
I'm a fan of the H3 podcast and we've had fans requesting captions for a long time. I became very vocal in the comment thread as there were many people defending auto-captions (which are not good enough), as well as the general attitude of redditors was horrible. There were many redditors supporting the captions idea, a lot of D/deaf hard of hearing people came forward in support and sharing their experience, but there were so many people telling us how we're unrealistic, how it's too difficult, too expensive, and really making it like were a nuisance. Then the main host of the podcast responded similarly, he barely spoke in the request other than saying its too hard to caption hours of content.
Just feel disappointed, and reminded that people see my struggle to understand what I hear as a massive nuisance. Funny that they seem to find it more frustrating than I do 🙃

This post will contain spoilers for Death on the Nile.
​
I have Death on the Nile on my kindle, and the version I have recently updated somehow when I clicked on it a few days ago (I’m not quite sure why, but it now has an image from the recent movie on the cover). I’ve probably re-read Death on the Nile 20+ times by now, and so I was able to notice that the text had changed in at least one place. I was wondering if anyone else had noticed something similar?
​
The text change I noticed is in > !a conversation between Poirot and Jacqueline Bellafort, who are discussing whether Simon Doyle’s affections will return to Jacqueline now that his wife, Linnet, is dead. ! < Poirot is speaking.
​
Original (from a version published in 2010):
It is too soon to think of such a thing! That is the proper hypocritical thing to say, is it not? But you are partly a Latin, Mademoiselle Jaqueline. You should be able to admit facts even if they do not sound very decorous. Le roi est mort – vive le roi! The sun has gone and the moon rises. That is so, is it not?
​
New kindle text:
It is too soon to think of such a thing! That is the proper hypocritical thing to say, is it not? But you, of all people, Mademoiselle Jaqueline, should be able to admit facts even if they do not sound very decorous. Le roi est mort – vive le roi! The sun has gone and the moon rises. That is so, is it not?
​
I am quite annoyed by this change, and by the other potential changes to the text that I didn't catch. I assume these changes were made to remove apparent offensive terminology.
​
I'm not opposed to this in some cases; I completely understand, for example, why the title of “And then there were none” was updated. But here, the change seems completely unnecessary. The contrast between Latin (or Southern European) culture and English culture is one that appears many times in Christie’s writing, and Poirot often comments how, as a Latin, he finds English habits silly/amusing/honorable/etc. The passage I’ve highlighted above also makes much less sense in the new version, while in the original, it is referencing a previous conversation with Jackie about her heritage.
​
To go to a broader point, Christie’s characters say offensive things in line with the place and time in which they lived. I see very little reason to sanitize the reality of her opinions and the opinions of her era.
​
Anyway, sorry for the rant. I’m especially annoyed that my kindle version was ‘upgraded’ without action on my part and I’d be very interested to see if anyone else has noticed similar changes in kindle versions!

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Recently I had an acquaintance tell me he can't imagine continuing to see someone if they hadn't slept together by the fifth date. He said it's not really dating if there's no sex.
Background (not important to discussion, just detail): 26f. This same time last year I had resigned to the idea that for whatever reason, I'm undatable. Fine. Life goes on. Then in September I met someone who I thought would be my first boyfriend (21m). Call him Jason. He was super nice and respectful to me and we had increasingly intimate conversations. I mentioned I'd never been in a relationship before, but he continued to talk to me so I assumed that was fine by him. I told him personal traumatic experiences that I never talk about with anyone. In November I let him know I have feelings. It didn't turn out well. He was 'weirded out' and doesn't want to hang out any more. He actively avoids me in public. I was crushed but hardly surprised. Like I said, undatable.
Every interaction I've ever had with a man has led me to believe they're generally incapable of pure love. (Don't get your panties in a bunch, MRAs). All my "experiences" are horror stories. A first date admitted he was married then offered cash for my virginity. My first sexual experience (a few years ago) was a stranger walking onto my porch and masturbating in front of me.
I've tried getting over this. I have one male friend, Paul, who I love platonically and believe is a good person, but he too was repulsed when I said he would make a fine husband. I want to be loved, but the more I interact with men the more disgusted I am.
Last week my former crush Jason and I attended the same party. I didn't speak with him directly but I overheard his conversation with some other mutual acquaintances (all men). They're all young men ages 20-25 so naturally the conversation turned around to their dicks. Jason brought up abstinence, I felt like specifically to bother me because he knew I was within earshot. His brother dated a girl for a year and a half and they never had sex. I was drinking and smoking so I can't remember exactly who said what but one of the guys replied something like, "No one's worth that."
I'd assumed these guys were all decent people. Is this really what men are like? I don't expect Disney princes, but Jesus. And they really don't even see a problem with these ideals.
TL;DR How many men think sex is the only difference between friendship and romance? What's the likelihood of meeting a man who values romance for romance itself? How soon should I start packing my bags for the convent?

So, my friend is visiting me for a week from Berlin. We've met 5 years ago on Fortnite and quickly started to be best friends. We met 2 years ago once and this time he came again. I appreciate him as a friend, he is very kind, he helps without asking anything back, he knows I study and recently got fired so he doesn't want me to pay etc. There js one thing that make me being with him 24/7 suck though.
I don't like to be with someone that much but leaving him alone in a hotel room sucks. That one thing is- he is childish. He doesn't understang we are two different people, it's cold and he thinks of stuff as let's go hile to the highest mountain we have and gets frustrated when I said no. He acts annoyed that I don't show him anything even though he saw everything, I live in a small time in Europe. He is also very touchy, always like a child as in taking your phone and acting like he doesn't have it then finds it as the best joke. He always hugs me and as a person who doesn't like touching it's just annoying. He doesn't understand my point. I catch myself speaking my mother language to my cousin and he gets mad even though I told him I don't even realize I do it I am used to it. It's weird talking in English to my cousin I've talked to in my mother language for 20 years. I try though.
He doesn't fit. I am very sorry to say but he is cringe af. Imagine, you're with someone 24/7 and then he gets mad when you use your phone when there's literally quiet and you're bored af. There is a party on Friday, I know it sounds meand but damn, I am thinking of just not taking him. I know I won't party a lot and this may be my last one for a while. I know he would get weird with my friends, I know he would want to do things I am just too grown to do and then get mad. I know he would make fun of me in front of my crush or get touchy and I am just not dowm for that. WTF should I do?

I'm an Aboriginal Australian who has experienced such internal discrimination and hostilities by other aboriginal mobs and was just wondering if natives experience the same.
Like for example, my mother doesn't like my bio dad's mob and always has disparaging things to say about them and there's even certain mobs who are actively hostile towards other ones due to century old conflicts.
Is it the same within Native American culture as well? I've been trying to learn a bit more about indigenous people in America and Canada and this question just popped into my head.
Thanks!
(P.S: mob just means = Tribe)

I am a bit shy initially but once comfortable I’m the best buddy one can have
I love to be out in the nature, like hiking, biking, camping, fishing, kayaking etc
I’m planning a road trip with camping (place undecided) in the summer if someone wants to come along let me know
I like broad kind of music from Rock to Classical Operas to Jazz
I love comedy shows like South Park
On a lazy Sunday afternoon either I cook something delicious for me or visit the museums nearby
Currently I’m living/working in Norway

With the banking BS going on plus my struggles paying the bills already thanks to inflation I'm strongly considering going shopping tomorrow to stock up on consumables that I use daily, hopefully at least a years worth of stuff like non-perishable food/snacks, zyrtec, TP (I know...lol) because it seems chances are good come a year from now, its going to be much more expensive than it is now. I have a little bit of silver bullion accumulated over the years but missed the boat on that run last week and all the local shops have are insanely overpriced coins and I wish I acted sooner but it is what it is. Anybody else have this approach? I'm probably preaching to the choir in this sub 🤣 but I'm seeking advice specifically wrt what feels like an impending economic shitstorm on the horizon. I'm even going to try to get my foot in the door at a local place that's holding open interviews this week for a second part time job.