I'm a married, white, 41 yrs old guy who's searching for more from life. My marriage isn't terrible but, i want more. I'm looking for the daily/nightly messages (not a 9-5), voice messages & pictures. I miss the butterflies, emotional & sexual connection. Would love to find something long-term and in person!
If you'd like to chat and see if there's a connection then send me a message. I'm not looking for games or scammers! Starting to think no one here is serious and know what they want. I do and hope to find her soon!

Seasons 1, 2 & 3's rewrite: https://www.reddit.com/EliteNetflix/comments/13yr0za/fixing_netflix_elite_season_13_english/
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S4. Attempted assassination of Rebeka Bermujo Ávalos: “A very strict principal and four new students arrive at Las Encinas who attack with love entanglements, serious rumors and a mystery that has just come out of the oven”.
Season 4 Characters List:

1. Samuel García Dominguez.
2. Guzmán Nunier Osuna.
3. Valerio Montesinos Rojas.
4. Rebeka Parilla.
5. Cayetana Grajera Pando.
6. Christian Varela Expósito (recurrent).
7. Nadia Shanaa (guest).
8. Felipe Rosón Caleruega.
9. Patrick Blanco Benavent.
10. Ariadna Blanco Benavent.
11. Mencía Blanco Benavent.
12. Benjamín Blanco.
13. Armando de la Ossa.

• This season is probably going to be another one of the longest in terms of changes, as I feel like it was the worst of the six we've had so far, which is a huge mistake given all the big departues we've had in S3. The success of this season was something important because it meant the interest of the old fans for future seasons.
• The mistake of this season, I feel, was using the arrival of the new cast to completely divert the focus of attention from what had been the plot of the story (Marina's murder, which led to Polo's murder). The story of this season should have followed the consequences of Polo's death for our characters, the weight of the pact of silence regarding Lu, and the non-hypersexualized harmony that the first three seasons had between his characters.
• In this sense, it would make both this season and T5 keep the same vibes that they presented to us for season 6, first of all, lowering the morbidity and unnecessary sex scenes that we had since this season, creating more cohesion in the "individuality ” of the student uniforms, and creating an environment of more togetherness between characters, rather than many separate stories coming together at the end.
• In addition, from this season several things about the school itself raised in previous seasons seem to have been forgotten just like that:

1. Las Encinas is a bilingual school, but we never see another teacher speaking English (French in the English dubbing) again.
2. The school competition with the Ivy League prize that Nadia and Lu compete for during the first three seasons is not mentioned again, when it is supposed to be something that is done every single year.
3. In addition, from this season almost all the scenes are located almost exclusively inside the school, and we see very little about outdoor scenes, or the private lives of the characters. This is also a serious mistake, since that was what best allowed us to know each other's backgrounds, and create empathy with them.

Season 4 Scoop:
Ari, Patrick and Mencía:

• We would find out that they are adopted children of Benjamin: they introduce us to their family in the midst of an experimentation of great anguish, why not add another factor? Also, I feel like it works because none of them look much alike physically, nor do they seem to fully connect with each other (we were led to believe that Patrick and Ari were twins, when their relationship is more toxic than many Elite romantic couples).
• The three of them would enter the third year, that is, a course below the one that Samuel & company are repeating (making Patrick and Ari two years younger than them, and Mencía three, since they originally tell us that she is one year ahead, together to his siblings).

Benjamín Blanco: The father of the new trio, and the new principal of Las Encinas, after Azucena's dismissal. In the middle of the season, we find out that he is actually Polo's uncle (his late wife was Begoña Benavent's sister). The compound last name of his children is Blanco Benavent, instead of Blanco Commerford.

• Benjamín would have come to Madrid to help his sister-in-law regarding her son's trial, and to try to obtain information about this, by infiltrating the school, since apparently, despite Christian's guilty plea, there does not seem to have been direct evidence implicating him as the killer, beyond the romantic bond the two shared, so police say it's quite possible he'll be released for lack of evidence.
• They tell us that Benjamin asked his three children for "help" to try to find out what really happened with Polo. However, Ari is the only one who accepted his request for help. Patrick and Mencía try to act as if that doesn't happen. Neither of the three mentions that Polo was their cousin.
• This means that Benjamin and Ari would act as the main antagonists of the season, with the other two siblings being indirect antagonists.

Felipe Rosón Caleruega:

• Felipe is Carla's (almost unknown) younger brother whom we would have finally met briefly during her graduation the previous season. Apparently, he had spent all those years attending a sister private school of Las Encinas located in Argentina, called Las Cumbres, and when we got to know him properly this season we would discover that it was not his idea to return to live in Madrid, but rather a decision made by his parents. We would later learn that he had actually been expelled from his last school, and that there is something about his past in England that he is trying to keep secret.
• Between the middle of the season it's revealed that Felipe's "dark past" is based on his having anger management problems: a video is revealed in which he is seen together with a group of students attacking another boy. They tell us that there is a heavy complaint against him, and the case is still on trial, and only thanks to the influence of his parents was he able to avoid being arrested.
• It's revealed that he's bisexual, and we're shown that he starts having some kind of secret crush on Patrick, both of them having this whole homoerotic friendship thing.
• This character would become related to the second main plot of this season, which in the future would become the main plot for later seasons:

⠀⠀⠀ → We know that his father, Teodoro Rosón, after the end of Season 3 became the sole owner of the old company that he co-directed with Ventura Nunier (Guzmán's father) who was arrested at the end of S1 for embezzlement towards the School of San Esteban (the school from which Samu, Nadia and Christian received scholarships at the beginning of S1, after its collapse).
⠀⠀⠀ → We now learn that Teodoro plans to rebuild a Public School again on top of the ruins of San Esteban, this time by "legal means" to avoid the same fate as Ventura, but still solely for the economic purposes that would result from such construction, and a new scholarship program that this new school would have with Las Encinas.
⠀⠀⠀ → During the next season, the construction of this new institution would have finished, and we would have new scholarship recipients in Las Encinas, coming from this new school. This would be part of the "reboot" that the next generation would mean for Elite.

• Felipe's character would be a direct reinvention of Philippe von Triesenberg's character, which would mean that said character is completely removed from the series script.
• The reason behind his origin as Carla's younger brother arises to create a kind of instant empathy with him, based on his connection with whom was one of our queens for three years.

Rebeka (not Ari) is the main victim of the season:

• One of the biggest misses of the season was making one of the new guys the victim; especially Ari, who among the three, was the one that generated the least empathy in the public. Without changing the original story too much, seeing from the first episode that Rebeka's life is in danger would have aroused much more interest among the entire audience.
• As originally, Rebeka would end up in the hospital because of Armando, after having found out what Mencía was going through all season, and having confronted him to defend her. It's the same story that Ari had, but in a much more interesting and functional way.

Love triangle Samuel/Ari/Guzmán: It never happens.

• It was a pretty dire plot that only increased the public's hatred towards Ari for having separated Nadia and Guzmán, and for being the reason for the loss of all the development that Guzmán and Samu's relationship had had for three seasons.
• Instead, only Samuel remains her love interest, setting up that possible future "fatheson" connection between him and Benjamin.
• Guzmán, for his side, would continue to have a long-distance love relationship with Nadia through video calls, and towards the end of the season, she surprises him with a visit to Madrid.

⠀⠀⠀ → Samuel and Ari's relationship would not be there just as one more of the season, but would serve as an element for the plot: Ari would have approached Samuel after learning that he was Christian's close friend (the accused in Polo's murder) to try to obtain information. However, her feelings towards him would become true over the course of the season, thus seeing a kind of development in her character, which would allow the public to empathize with her.
Guzmán & Mencía: Both become close friends, based on how much Guzmán would see Marina in Mencía [For those who didn't know, Mencía was written as a reformulation of Marina's character, adapted to the needs of the new environment with this "new gen"].
As mentioned before, Philippe's character is eliminated as a new character: his plot was something very delicate that I think was not handled well, and in the future it would be remedied with the entry and development of Isadora's story. With Philippe gone, Cayetana's as his love interest is eliminated.

• After everything that happened with Polo the previous season, Cayetana is at a point in her life where she is not capable of being in another relationship. Her plot remains only in the way that she wants to change her future and focus on her design career, perhaps having aftermath of everything that happened with Polo, making her start having anxiety attacks (but treating the subject delicately, with her beginning to see a specialist by Rebbe's obligation).
• We would see how Caye tries to seek support from Valerio, because of "Polo's issue" and the connection that Valerio also had with him, but she is frustrated when she realizes that Valerio seems to have coped with all this issue through the use of drugs. Another possible plot for her would be her attempt to help him (parallels to her original attempt to help Philippe).
• Cayetana would be an easy second target for Ari, in her attempt to find information about Polo for her father. However, she would not achieve much due to the gap between them throughout the season.

Patrick + Valerio:

• "Replacement" for Ander-Patrick-Omar's idea, without the drama and toxicity that this trio represented. Ander and Omar are gone. Valerio and Patrick? Both are wild partiers with drug-abusing tendencies. Let's match them up and watch them explode and burn, because that would be so much funny.
• Later it could be revealed (or not) that Patrick would have approached Valerio at Ari's request, to try to obtain some information regarding Polo's case, at the insistence of their father.

Christian subplot:

• Following the story line proposed at the end of T3, Christian would be in prison for a large part of this fourth season, whether it was due to a nefarious action by the justice system, or by his own plea to defend Lu and "pay" for his silence regarding Marina's death. The scenes with him are based on visits given to him by Samuel, or even perhaps Guzmán, in prison.
• His permanence this season would be used to generate tension for the public, especially since (as mentioned at the beginning), the police would end up releasing him, due to lack of evidence against him. Let's say they take his statement as a result of the alcohol he drank at the party.
• It is his potential (and definitive) release from prison, which causes the arrival of the Benjamins in Madrid, with Benjamin trying to seek justice for the family of his dead wife.

Valerio's possible death?:

• Yes, it would be something tragic. And I'm trying to avoid this whole "one character death per season" thing. But (in a way) it's something that might make sense: Valerio dies of an overdose, "completing circle" in his drug addiction plot, but not forcing murder into the season.
• Yet at the same time it might seem like too much for audiences (since, remember, we would have waited all season to see whether or not we would eventually lose Rebekah, and whether or not Christian would finally get out of prison. Keep them only to lose him, it could be a little too much).
• Whether or not he died, Valerio would leave the school at the end of this season (another viable option for his departure could be, perhaps, by Patrick's action after Valerio's possible overdose, using Benjamin's influence to get him help at a clinic, similar to Christian's original ending, but this time out of Patrick's honest concern for Valerio, and not out of wanting to "get him out of his way").

Armando's fate:

• HE IS NOT KILLED BY GUZMÁN. Seriously, how did the writers come up with the idea that the character we met SEEKING JUSTICE FOR THE CRIME AGAINST HIS SISTER would become the new criminal face, not facing the consequences and ending his story with him running away to avoid charges? Just... no!!
• Armando is imprisoned: During the last episode we see Mencía crying in the hospital, blaming herself for the possibility of losing Rebe because of her. She finally comes clean; Not with her father, not with Ari, not with Patrick... but with Guzmán. Guzmán is the only person she trusts enough to admit the truth about Armando. Just at that moment, Rebekah wakes up. The rest is simply a competent action on the part of justice.

Guzmán drops out of school: At the end of the season, we see how he decides to join Nadia in the US.

• It's reveal that he feels guilty for getting away from everyone, especially because of what he has just discovered about Mencía. Her “brotherly instinct” tells him that he must stay to protect her, but in the end they show us a scene of both saying goodbye to each other in peace, and Mencía crying, thanking him for having put Armando in jail.
• There would be a farewell scene between him and Samuel, closing their plot as "brothers".

Outcome of Ari-Samuel Subplot, linked to Polo:

• At some point near the season finale, Samuel would learn of Ari's and her family's connection to Polo's family, and the real reasons she had reached out to him. He would break up with her right then.
• Ari finally confesses the rest of the story, filling in the puzzle pieces that Samuel was missing. He claims that it hadn't all been fake, not for her: she had really fallen for him.
• As a possible redemption ending for the character, Ari vows not to tell her father about the truth after Polo's death, guided by the love she had come to feel for Samuel.

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T5. Murder of Samuel Garcia Dominguez: "Another semester begins in Las Encinas that brings new love triangles, new students, new rules... and a new crime that leaves everyone baffled".
Season 5 Characters List:

1. Samuel García Dominguez.
2. Rebeka Parilla.
3. Cayetana Grajera Pando.
4. Felipe Rosón Caleruega.
5. Patrick Blanco Benavent.
6. Ariadna Blanco Benavent.
7. Mencía Blanco Benavent.
8. Isadora Artiñán.
9. Iván Carvalho.
10. Cruz Carvalho.
11. Benjamín Blanco.

Isadora & Iván's arrival: Elite timeline is confusing because Season 1 is supposed to pertain to an individual school year. Seasons 2 and 3 belong to two semesters of the same year, just like seasons 4 and 5. This would mean that Isadora and Iván would be entering Las Encinas in the middle of the semester, without any explanation. We could remedy this by giving him a simple explanation that would, incidentally, unite the two of them like the best friends T6 would have us believe they are, when we've barely seen too many interactions between them:

• Isa and Iván are exchange students: they both already knew each other, since they came from the very same private school in Argentina as Felipe.
• They enter the same course as Patrick, Ari, Mencía and Felipe, that is: they are also two years younger than Samuel & Co.

Patrick/Ari/Ivan triangle: It never happens.

• Let's stop poisoning the Blancos so much. Enough with the whole Ivan/Patrick/Cruz thing.

Love triangle, Patrick-Felipe-Iván:

• Created to compensate for the cuts I made in season 4 with AndePatrick/Omar, with Samuel/Ari/Guzmán, and this season, with Patrick/Ari/Iván. The three of them would have a possible temporary dynamic, initiated by Patrick despite the fact that Ivan and Felipe were in the closet at the time.

We would be introduced, in a secondary way, to some of the new characters of season 6 (in a similar way to how S6 gave us a first introduction to Sonia, a character signed as main for T7). Among them:

• Bilal, a student belonging to the new public school built by Teo Rosón on the foundations of the old San Esteban.
• Dídac, being seen close to Javier, as one of the JavieHugo/Alex group. He does not participate in the attack on Isadora at the end of the season.
• Nico, having already transitioned, but still not getting the document from him officially identifying him as a man. It is said that his d-name is Nicole (although everyone already calls him Nico). We saw one or two scenes of him close to Isadora and Mencía, before his official presentation in T6.
• Rocío may be another of the people close to the girls, perhaps as a new waitress at the Club del Lago, where she would meet Bilal. In the following season it could be explained that the reason for having been working at the Club was that her father had canceled her credit cards.

Graduation: Samuel and Rebeka officially graduate from Las Encinas, similar to what we saw for the rest of the characters in S3 (but without Valerio and Guzmán, as both would have dropped out in S4).
Samuel death: It would still happen, and it would still be at the hands of Benjamin. However, the reasons could turn out to be different:

• Ari would have started to move away from her father this season, after the last scene we would have had of her and Samu at the end of S4. She would refuse to continue investigating her classmates and friends for him.
• She and Samu would have ended up the previous season, but they would still somehow not let go of each other. Benjamin realizes this, and begins to suspect that Samuel has something to do with Ari's refusal to want to continue helping him.
• Benjamin would begin to suspect that Samuel had "washed her mind" to Ari to leave the Polo case aside because he himself had been involved, in some way, following the fact of his closeness with Christian, and that he would discover that Samu had been visiting him in prison the previous semester. Benjamín would had been blackmailing Samu for the past few months to give him information about it. Samuel would not have opened his mouth (remember, in S3 a pact of silence was made to protect Lucrecia).
• In a final fit of rage trying to make him confess, Benjamin ends up pushing him into the pool, where Samu hits his head on the edge, bleeding to death.

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T6. Ivan's accident, and subsequent coma: “After the death of a student, Las Encinas faces a new school year trying to have an image wash by covering up past disasters. The students try to achieve their goals, but will they all reach their goal alive?
Season 6 Characters List:

1. Felipe Rosón Caleruega.
2. Patrick Blanco Benavent.
3. Ariadna Blanco Benavent.
4. Mencía Blanco Benavent.
5. Isadora Artiñán.
6. Iván Carvalho.
7. Nicolás “Nico” Fernandez.
8. Dídac.
9. Sara.
10. Rocío.
11. Raúl.
12. Cruz Carvalho.

The season begins three months after the murder of Samuel and the imprisonment of Benjamín Blanco.

• Rebeka graduated from Las Encinas and left Madrid. Also Caye is gone.
• The three Benjamins + Felipe, Isadora & Iván are beginning their last year at Las Encinas. Dídac and Sara are also in the same course as them.
• It would be implied that Nico and Rocío are a junior class.

The events of season 6 happen in a very similar way to what we originally saw, since that season was thought of as a reboot of the show, and it returned to recover all the vibes of the first generation. As I mentioned in the S4 section, at this point the sexual morbidity of the show was greatly reduced, and at all times there was a great feeling of togetherness, even with the new characters (something that, I dare say, we had never had before in Elite, not even with the original gen).
Isadora's plot:

• This story remains largely the same, finally getting the justice she had been seeking since the previous season.
• The only thing that would change in this plot is the part of "justice into one's own hand" (referring to the chemical sterilization of heraggressors). And let's see, I UNDERSTAND why, her context of "justice failed me", but I feel that at the script level, the message of the series of "an eye for an eye / fire with fire" is very wrong, ESPECIALLY if at the end she was going to have that closure of justice that the plot and the character deserve.

Cruz Calvalho's plot: the hate crime plot against Cruz is also removed…

• I understand that it's a key point in the Season, and honestly when I saw it I did "like it", although I felt a lot of helplessness and pity. But really, Cruz was a character who was SUPER promising for the future, a publicly gay professional footballer? Even today, with all the acceptance that exists, the number of players openly belonging to the LGBTIQ+ community can seriously be counted on the fingers of one hand.
• Cruz's public coming out could mean so many things publicly, and it was going to break an entire status quo… and they just made him die for a hate crime because he is who he is.
• I know that it tries to represent the reality in which we are living, BUT, in the show, the real reason for his death is based on causing a rupture between Patrick and Iván's relationship… so there THAT is my problem: Cruz exposes himself because he knew that Iván and Patrick had something special, that Patrick was important to his son. So simply killing him to make those characters break up? For what, what use would it all have been? Nope…just not.

Relationships of the season, without too many changes:

• Patrick and Iván (without the breakup or the toxicity that they originally carried this season): Let's say they had a fight at the end of S6 for x reasons, which did make Iván tell Patrick that he didn't want to see him again. This being Patrick's reason for leaving him while he was in the hospital.
• Isadora and Dídac: Without too many changes. Both belong to two families in charge of hotels, which are competitors in Spain. A possible Romeo & Juliet style posed for S7.
• Rocío and Bilal: Same plot, with him approaching her for the sole reason of getting a benefit from her (for her money).
• Ari and Nico. Same plot.
• Raul and Sara. Same plot.

We would still have the departure of the Blanco siblings for the end, but this time, it would NOT be having "reconciled" with their father.

• Ari would eventually testify AGAINST him, for Samuel's crime.
• They had come to Las Encinas in search of information about Polo, but only at the request of his father. It was not something that interested them, and they had nothing to continue doing there. In addition, there was the Mencía "thing" with Iván's accident…
• For the first time we would see Ari in the position of a true big sister, taking action to protect her family (as we originally saw). As a symbolic way of Ari's detachment from her father, we see her refusing to be called that way again, since "Ari" was her father's nickname for her. From that day on, she would be Ariadna… not Ariadna Blanco, but with her mother last name... Ariadna Benavent.

Knowing that Iván's character is still signed for S7 (unlike Patrick; this is confirmed by Manu's absence at the beginning of the season recordings), we could achieve a fitting ending for this couple by using a Short Story between Seasons 6 and 7.
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Anddddddd here it is! My take for a rewrite of this show, which I feel started at the top of everything and gradually went down in quality, although it still has a lot of potential. I'm proud of how all six seasons turned out as a whole, though I still feel like these last three seasons feel a bit incomplete compared to the first ones. So what do you guys think? Would you add or take away something that I added? Did you like the changes? I'm new here, and this is my first real post on reddit, so I'd really appreciate your feedback ^-^

On today’s episode of ‘Things I never thought would happen to me’, two human-snake hybrids with long snouts and colorful scales cried in my arms. Despite the unsettling texture of their scales, I instinctively hugged them in a vain attempt to comfort them. It took me half a minute to process what was happening.
Elincia worked at an orphanage.
[Awareness]: Of course she does.
I ignored the System prompt and focused on the kids crying against my chest. Elincia seemed to be too busy dealing with the seven or eight bawling kids at the same time.
“What happened, sweetie?” I asked, trying to sound reassuring.
The snake girl with shining blue and white scales tried to hold back the tears, and she made it for a brief second, but then she wrapped her arms around my neck and burst into tears again. By the way she trembled, I could tell she was scared.
“Hey, hey. It's okay. Elincia is already here. There is nothing to worry about.” I said, softly patting her back.
My words, as I should have expected, caused the kids to cry even harder. This wasn’t my first rodeo with teary small kids, however, it was my first time holding two snake-human hybrids. I wonder what had happened for the kids to be this distressed, a quick inspection told me they weren’t hurt.
The door opened again and a thin elven kid with fair blonde hair and dark circles around his eyes appeared in the doorway. Just as the rest of the orphans, he was dressed with well-worn oversized clothes. The elven kid was older than the rest of the kids but couldn’t be more than twelve or thirteen years old.
I wondered if he was Elincia’s kid but I quickly discarded that theory, there was no trace of human blood in his appearance. The boy seemed to be a pureblood elf.
“What’s happening, Zaon?” Elincia asked over the generalized bawling and I noticed a trembling in her voice, as if she was also about to burst into tears.
The elven kid walked down the flight of stairs and raised his voice to be heard over the generalized bawling.
“M-m-mister Holst left the orphanage f-five days ago. Ilya and I tried to keep things under control but the small ones were nervous without you around. They thought you were going to be gone forever.” Zaon stuttered.
My heart clenched at hearing the kids had been on their own for a whole week. I understood now why the small ones were so scared. Elincia’s angered voice caught my attention.
“Mister Holst did what?!” Elincia exclaimed and the weeping sound of the kids suddenly died, leaving an awkward silence behind.
“Mister Holst had an imp-p-portant Class breakthrough so he left the orphanage to go to the imperial capital. That was five days ago.” Zaon repeated, stuttering the same syllables. “We took care of the cooking and the bedtime of the small ones. I couldn’t get them to shower, I’m sorry.”
My heart shrunk even further.
“You did well, Zaon. Please take the kids inside, I need to talk to Elincia for a moment.” I said, gently putting the snake-children down. “We’ll be joining you in a moment.” I added seeing the kids didn’t let Elincia go.
Zaon nodded and led the way followed by a dozen reluctant small kids who casted anxious glances at Elincia as they entered the manor. After a moment, we were left alone in the front yard.
“I’m going to fucking kill him, that weasel.” Elincia turned around and walked towards the iron gate.
I grabbed her wrist, she tugged but I didn’t let go.
Elincia’s face was red from anger and her knuckles turned white as she clenched her fists. She had done well hiding her anger from the kids. Adult problems should be dealt with by adults.
“I should’ve known something like this was going to happen. I’m so stupid for trusting Holst.” Elincia covered her face with both hands.
“Who’s Holst?”
“Holst is a Scholar who comes to the orphanage a couple times a week to teach the kids. He had a temper but I thought learning under the guidance of a high level Scholar would help the kids.” Elincia replied. “I was so blind. Of course he didn't care about the kids, he was just cultivating his class!”
I understood the general contempt Elincia showed towards the Scholar class now. Holst sounded like a despicable person.
“The kids are safe and that’s what matters the most.” I said, grabbing Elincia by the shoulders and forcing her to look at me. “You should be proud of yourself, Elincia, your kids faced an emergency and managed to get by. You raised them well.”
Elincia dropped her shoulders and took a deep breath with her eyes closed. When she opened her eyes again, she seemed to have regained her composure.
“You are right… but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to kill Holst if he puts a foot in this orphanage ever again.” She grinned with a wicked smile and I knew she was being serious.
“I’ll lend you my shotgun if you don’t mind cleaning up the aftermath.” I grinned back.
“Gross. I love it.” Elincia laughed, leaving behind the bad feelings and walking to the entrance of the manor. She signaled to follow her. “Welcome to Lowell’s Orphanage. You should call me Miss Elincia while the kids are around.”
I followed her.
The reception room was a spacious area with faded white walls and a tall ceiling, adorned solely with an old couch and a couple of worn out chairs. Square areas of less weathered white paint on the walls showed the places where old paintings had hung long ago. On the opposing wall, a great window overlooked the inner courtyard. I caught a glimpse of a small farm plot, a well, and a small groove.
The whole manor seemed to have seen better days but it felt cozy and welcoming.
“This is our home. And these orphaned children are my family.” Elincia said with a mix of pride and embarrassment. She opened her arms in a gesture that encompassed the entire room.
We left the receiving room behind and Elincia led me to the west wing of the manor into a corridor filled with sunlight. To the right there was the backyard and to the left a row of closed doors. Behind the only open door there was a classroom with rows of small worn-out desks lined up facing a worn-out chalkboard. Over each desk there was an old small wax tablet with their respective styluses.
“That is our schoolroom. It ain’t much but it’s quite handy during cold and rainy days. I try to teach the kids to read and write before they leave the orphanage.” Elincia said as she caught me looking inside.
My brain connected the dots and a sense of sadness got a sudden hold on me.
The Kingdom was at war and those who served as fodder were the least fortunate ones. I wondered how many of Elincia’s orphans ended up in the king’s army fighting in the Farlands to never come back home. But my sadness wasn’t solely aimed at the orphans, Elincia was rowing against a storm in a ship that was sailing to nowhere.
“It looks cozy.” I said.
We turned at the corner and found the harpy girl with the white pillowcase dress slowly walking down the corridor. The wooden floor clacked as she tried to catch up with the rest of the orphans but her talons were too big for her small body, making her steps slow and clumsy. She was more than ten meters behind but seemed unfazed by the matter.
The diminutive harpy saw us walking in her direction and stopped. It was my first time seeing a harpy. Her face was human but a pair of wings covered by golden feathers protruded from her pillowcase dress. She waited patiently for us, blocking the path.
“I haven’t peed myself in five days.” The harpy girl proudly declared, putting her hands on her hips and adopting a defiant pose I had seen in Elincia before.
“Shu, you don’t just…” Elincia looked at me, horrified, and I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.
I squatted to Shu’s height and smiled. “You were so brave! I’m sure Miss Rosebud is happy to hear that.”
The harpy girl chuckled.
“You used the forbidden word. You are going to get scolded by Miss Elincia.” Shu hid her face beneath a wing. Before I could say anything else, Elincia grabbed her by the armpits and lifted her, interrupting our conversation.
Was ‘Rosebud’ a forbidden word?
“I’m going to prepare something to eat for the kids, you can wait in the classroom. I’m going to send Zaon over with a water basin.” Elincia said before Shu could add any extra outrageous comment.
Elincia and Shu followed the rest of the orphans and I came back to the classroom. Once alone, I punched the wall with full force, provoking a throbbing pain in my hand. My sadness had turned into anger. Holst was lucky to be away from Farcrest, otherwise I would be tempted to use one of my two remaining shells on him. I didn’t have a drop of sympathy for people who abandoned children.
I entertained myself with macabre fantasies until the left door opened again and Zaon entered the room carrying a large water basin.
“Miss Elincia says you can use her study to wash up. Then you can throw the water to the plants under the window.” Zaon said as he walked back to the corridor.
I followed him until we reached a closed door just by the corner of the corridor.
“This is the living quarters. The small kids sleep in the common room. We, the older ones, have our own rooms.” Zaon explained pointing with the head at the doors further down the living quarters. “This is Miss Elincia’s study.”
As I stepped into Elincia’s study, a floral smell filled my nostrils. The air was thick, as if I had walked into a greenhouse and I couldn’t help but take a deep breath, enjoying the fragrance.
The room was immaculately tiddy. A large bookshelf covered one of the walls and a wide writing desk was situated just under the window. A shabby bed was tucked in a corner with a knitted quilt neatly folded at the foot. On the night table there was a flower vase and a small diary.
[Awareness]: You have entered the forbidden dungeon: Elincia’s Bedroom.
The prompt made me stop dead in my tracks but no hidden traps were triggered by my presence.
The lack of knives and hunting trophies hanging from the walls made me think this belonged to the Governess and not the adventure junkie I had met in the woods. A sense of serenity emanated from the room and I understood that, for the orphans, this was a place of peace and safety.
Zaon put the water basin in the corner over a dresser and rummaged through the desk’s drawer. He pulled out a pearlescent soap bar, a threadbare towel, and a change of men's clothes from the chest at the foot of the bed. I wondered who the previous owner was.
“Thank you, Zaon.” I thanked the kid as I sat in a small stool by the water basin and washed my hands and forearms. I had a hundred questions to ask him but I didn’t want to entertain him, Elincia probably needed Zaon’s help to deal with the smaller kids.
Zaon nodded and looked at me with curiosity.
“Speak your mind.” I said, realizing I wasn’t going to get privacy until I answered some questions.
Zaon was startled for a moment but he quickly made up his mind.
“C-c-can I? Really? Who are you? Your accent is strange.” He inquired.
“I am Robert Clarke, a Scholar from a faraway land.” I introduced myself, wondering how much information I should disclose to the kids. Or how much information I could get from them. “I met Miss Rosebud in the Farlands and tagged along on the way back here.”
“Are you here to replace Mister Holst… sir?” Zaon got tangled up in his words, unable to figure out the right amount of deference required to address me. I smiled, trying to seem reassuring.
“This is my first time here in Farcrest so I have to meet the Marquis first. I don’t even know if I could stay.” I replied, deciding to tell Zaon the truth. “Miss Rosebud told me about the Imperial Library, so I’m tempted to go to the capital to cultivate my class.”
The kid nodded in awe. For someone from a backwater town like Farcrest, the imperial capital must be a place of wonder and mystery.
“Miss Elincia doesn’t like to be called that.” Zaon pointed out.
“Rosebud?”
“Yes.”
“I think it's a charming name.” I shrugged my shoulders thinking it was too much of a cute name for someone as tough as Elincia.
I waited for a moment, expecting a sassy System prompt to slap me on the face but none appeared. Good. The last thing I needed was more titles about my politically incorrect thoughts. Zaon looked around, as if there were spies somewhere between the walls, before continuing talking.
“I think that too, sir. A truly charming elven name.” Zaon muttered full of pride but suddenly he seemed to realize he had overextended his stay. “I’m not taking more of your time, sir.” He politely added as he left the room at a quick pace.
Finding the key inside the hole, I locked the door before taking my shirt off, and started scrubbing my body. The soap was the size of a small stack of coins and it didn’t produce much foam but it was more than enough after all those days trekking through the Farlands. It felt good to be clean once again. My old shirt was ruined after my adventure in the forest so the new one felt nice even if it was a bit oversized and the fabric coarser.
When I was finished, I opened the window and discarded the dirty water on the clump of bushes and flowers that adorned the mansion’s exterior. Then I unlocked the door and returned to the classroom feeling like a new man.
As I was sitting in the classroom, I saw a group of kids spying on me from the corridor’s windows. I acted like I hadn't seen them. Instead, I let them quench their curiosity while I mindlessly drew doodles on a wax tablet. Zaon probably already informed the rest of the orphans about my identity.
“Here you are.” Elincia said with a tired voice as she stood on the doorway. She carried a tray with a wooden bowl filled with steamy soup. “Scared of being alone in a girl’s bedroom?”
I was about to make a snarky remark when I remembered the kids spying on us. Elincia seemed to notice too because she quickly added. “Shall we discuss our deal in my study?”
I followed Elincia into her bedroom and she invited me to sit at the timeworn desk. Then, she handed me a bowl of soup and a piece of old bread. The soup had a few pieces of vegetables floating on the surface similar to carrots and potatoes. I did what any logical person would’ve done.
Elincia’s Vegetable Soup. [Identify] Edible. A watery, bland, and unseasoned soup made from various donated ingredients. It’s warm.
Luckily enough, Elincia didn’t realize I was using [Identify] on her soup. I put the spoon in my mouth. The flavor was indeed watery and bland but it was the first warm food I had since I arrived in this world, and it felt great. As I dipped the bread into the soup, Elincia untied her padded jacket, revealing a white blouse and a washed out light blue bodice that adhered to her figure.
I wasn’t completely ready for some Renaissance Fair action but I managed to keep my eyes glued to the bowl of soup. Elincia stretched her back and rotated her shoulders with feline grace before settling on the chair.
“You look good disguised as a governess, I almost bought it.” I said, fighting to keep my eyes away from Elincia’s delicate yet strong shoulders. If I didn’t know better, I would swear Elincia had a twin sister that looked after the orphanage while she explored the Farlands.
Elincia looked around as if there were spies in the walls before replying.
“Fuck off, Robert Clarke.” The woman whispered, rolling her eyes. “And thank you for helping me with the kids. You navigated the situation pretty well.” She added in an almost shy tone.
“Didn’t I say I was a teaching focused Scholar?” I replied with a smug voice.
“Yeah, I remember hearing an excuse like that for your lack of level.” Elincia grinned. “Now, show me the goods, I have a sick kid waiting for a potion.”
I brought my backpack I had left forgotten in the corner and started lining the bundles of herbs and roots over Elincia’s working desk.
“When you told me you had a sick kid I thought you meant your son or daughter.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, no. I already have enough kids around.” Elincia laughed as her eyes greedily pried over my alchemical loot.
I wondered if one of her skills allowed her to measure the herb’s magic concentration. Something like [Identify] but for Alchemists.
“Not to mention I’d need a man for that. A good one for that matter.” Elincia added.
“You don't have an army of volunteers lining up at the orphanage’s doors?” I jokingly asked. With her looks, she could have a fan club following her everywhere back on Earth.
Suddenly, Elincia forgot about the ingredients and locked her eyes with mine.
“Oh? Mister Scholar is interested in my relationship status now?” She gave me the biggest shit-eating grin I had seen in my life. And that was a lot to say considering Elincia’s mischievous personality.
“Dream on.” I quickly replied. Elincia’s big mouth made it difficult to feel bad for her.
You have obtained Denial Lv.3. Temporary.
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HEAVY FRAME .5 THICK WALL WITH EXTRA SPACE
This frame to hold up the ceiling and for safety to keep the basalt walls from collapsing on me. It can also help to hold up the walls of basalt sandbags or poly tubing and can help to keep it straight. It could even help to hold up the water layer and to provide a straight structure for that.
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ON THE OUTSIDE
3.17 wide
2.25 ft high frame
7.75 length 5.67ft long for height 1.08 ft for the 6.5 inch thick frame on either end 1fT for .5 thick basalt on either end
and theres a small doorway around foot end which gets filled in and then door is 1.6 high and 2ft wide I guess it gets filled in then other bags are in front of it and overlapping sides and top
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INTERIOR
25 inches wide 3.17 on the outside minus 1.08 is 25 inches the walls are 6.5 inches thick with a 5.5 inch 2x6 and two .5 inch pieces of plywood equals 6.5 inches per wall 1.08 total
height 1.51ft high 7.75 inches total almost .67 ft ceiling 7 inches thick a 5.5 inch 6x2 and 2 .75 inch pieces of plywood floor 1 piece of .75 plywood
length 5.67ft
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DESCRIPTION OF THE FRAME
I first described what I wanted to to my friend who knows about construction. He told me what the frame needed to be like to be strong enough for high level of safety.
I asked if we could make the part around the head strong since it needs to support 2ft thick of basalt and 1ft thick of water and the part around my body weaker and thin but he
said it will mess it up to build to different frames and connect them. He said its stronger just to build it in the same way with the same dimensions for the entire length of the frame.
Im am being forced against my will to build it with part of the material wasted on surrounding the bigger frame instead of providing thicker protection even though I think its overkill given
my extreme level of desperation and need to go faster.
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I think he said that the ceiling would be made with a piece of .75 inch plywood on the outside then 2x6 pieces of wood under it running perpendicular to the long dimension of the structure. The pieces
have the 2 thing part lying against the plywood of the ceiling and the 6 inch dimension sticks down into the box. The Walls are made the same way but with two .5 inch pieces of plywood around the 2x6 pieces.
The pieces stand up vertically. The 2x6 sixes are only either 2 or 4 inches apart I think he said? The floor is one piece of .75 inch plywood to help hold the walls in place to help keep them from shifting out of fully
supporting the ceiling and then stressing the joints more. He said we can build it with plastic bolts to avoid using steel nails or nails made of other metals. This is nice compared to a frame made of mortar and bricks
because we can move it to different places hopefully including for testing at better places. I guess well put holes in the side of the inner plywood walls and ceiling to increase how much air the structure can hold so I can
test it for longer periods. He says that plywood offgasses formaldehyde and I read you cant coat it or wrap it to stop that. So I guess its necessary to use more expensive formaldehyde free plywood.
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The shielded person can get on a piece of .75 inch plywood with 4 mill farmers plastic on one side and the floor has greased farmers plastic on it so that the person can be slid into place without needing enough room or
fitness to wriggle in. Someone slides me in without me needing the room to wriggle back and forth or up an down and with less chance of bumping my nose Or you could lie on plywood with thick plastic on one side or OSB which
has a slick surface and the floor would be greased farmer plastic. There is an outline on the plywood and I lie just in the right spot and they push me in.
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This design makes it 6 inches wider than my shoulders which I had hope would be enough to wriggle in without really any vertical room despite my body being somewhat messed up and not being able to get exercise.
Now im thinking this give me enough room to be pushed into place but I'm wondering could I get away with only 3 inches extra at the shoulders?
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There could be 2 plastic pulleys in the corners and I get pulled instead of pushed in so it's easier.
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This structure is supposed to totally surround me in water as well as basalt. Since the water containers wont hold up under the weigh of being underneath the basalt floor and ceiling as well the water has to be inside the frame
with me so that only my weight is on top of it. So Im planning on leaving enough room to have 2 layers of large fomenteck water bags. The two layers mean they will overlap at the seems. Im thinking that each layers bags will
also be stuck to each other with tape to keep them from separating and so they slightly overlap at the edges but without being thicker then the thickest part of the bags. If there isnt enough room for two layers somehow then
the small thinner fomenteck bags could create my two layers or just overlap the seems. The interior is about 1.5ft so two 4 inch thick fomenteck bag high floor will leave 10 inches minus the room for the plywood to slide in on.
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PLASTIC BOLTS
plastic bolts 10 for $9
https://www.grainger.com/product/GRAINGER-APPROVED-Hex-Head-Cap-Screw-Nylon-4AGR8
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amazon plastic bolt $6 for 10
https://www.amazon.com/Hard-Find-Fastener-014973168261-Piece-10/dp/B003PBA2FY/ref=sr_1_2?crid=33APW3CB2535I&keywords=HARD%2BTO%2BFIND%2BPLASTIC%2BBOLTS%2B2%2BINCHES&qid=1685717324&sprefix=hard%2Bto%2Bfind%2Bplastic%2Bbolts%2B2%2Binches%2Caps%2C114&sr=8-2&th=1
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THE BASALT LAYER
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So this is a a enclosure of basalt thats 6 inches thick for the ceiling, the floor, side walls and the front and back wall. Its a complete enclosure and doorway gets blocked up after Im in it. When I made it like this I was assuming that
there was no way to make a thinner floor anyway but with the poly tubing I might be able to make it 3 or 4 inches thick using a double layer of the smallest poly tubing and save some weight.
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CEILING AND FLOOR 32.32 cubic ft 4.17ft wide x 7.75ft long frame is 6.75 plus .5 ft basalt on one side and .5 basalt on the other is 7.75 total
SIDE WALLS 17.44 cubic ft 2.25ft high by 7.75ft long outside of frame is 2.25ft high and i'm defining the walls as the height between the basalt ceiling and floor which is the height of the frame. The walls dont include
the basalt that is over the wall but is above or underneath the level of the frame which can be defined as part of the ceiling or floor.
END WALLS 7.13 cubic ft 2.25ft high by 3.17 ft long The length of the end walls are the distance between the inner surface of the side walls.
say use 4 60lb bags to block the door thoroughly 3 to 2.4 cubic ft
TOTAL
SOLID WALL 59.3 cubic ft to 59.9 cubic ft 60 cubic ft is 2.4 tons tons at 80lb per cubic ft with a solid wall 3 tons at 100lb per cubic ft with solid wall this will really at least a touch less if I make it with bags because there will be some space between the bags
no matter what I do.
POLY TUBING WALL The round shape of the tubing means that the wall won't be solid and will have some of the space empty. Ill say that if I use the tubing it will only use 80 percent of what a totally solid wall will. So if I use two layers of 3 inch tubes of basalt
then the most basalt it can use is 80 percent of a solid wall I think.
Total 60 cubic ft with poly tubing at 80lb a cubic ft is 1.92 tons at at 100lb a cubic ft is 2.4 tons
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2.133 tons to 2.66tons depending on 80lb or 100lb per cubic ft REDO THESE or 2.55 to 3.2 tons if 8 inches thick

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BRAIN PROTECTION
theres .5 ft of basalt in every direction so Im adding extra basalt to reach the full thickness I want around my brain.
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BRAIN PORTECTION 1
ON TOP A 2X2ft square above brain uses 6 cubic extra ft adding 1.5ft thick total to make it 2ft thick altogether. is centered on forehead and the back and of it is about 3 inches away from the back wall of the whole structure.
BEHIND 2X2X2ft total uses 6 cubic ft extra adding 1.5ft thickness The top is level with the rest of the basalt ceiling the bottom is level with the bottom of the TIs brain and is centered on there brain from left to right.
ON THE SIDES 2x2 ft and 1ft thick total uses 4 cubic ft extra for both sides adding .5ft thick Is the same as the behind one but on the sides.
TOTAL is 16 cubic ft solid wall .64 tons at 80lb per cubic ft .8lb tons if 100lb per cubic ft using poly tubing uses .51 tons at 80lb per cubic ft and .64 tons at 100lb per cubic ft
GRAND TOTAL WITH STRUCTURE 2.43 with poly tubing 80lb a cubic ft or 3.04 tons with poly tubing and 100lb per cubic ft
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BRAIN PROTECTION 2
this is describing an additional outer wall that fits over the basalt box I already described to bring it up to 1ft thick for part of it.
CEILING AND FLOOR 15.75 cubic ft 5.25ft x 3ft
SIDE WALL 9.75 cubic ft 3.25x 3ft
BACK WALL 13.5 cubic ft 3.25x4.17
total 40 cubic ft added with poly tubing .8 tons at 80lb a cubic ft and 1 ton with 100lb a cubic ft
GRAND TOTAL 2.72 tons with poly tubing 80lb a cubic ft and 3.4 tons with 100lb a cubic ft
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BRAIN PROTECTION 3
brain protection 2 with 2x2x2ft above and behind brain total thickness .
GRAND TOTAL2.97 tons with poly tubing 80lb a cubic ft and 3.71 tons with 100lb a cubic ft
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HEAVY PROECTION AROUND BRAIN total is 63.5 cubic ft 2.35 tons at 80lb per cubic ft 2.94 at 100lb per cubic ft
4.5 ft high 5ft wide and 3ft long 67.5 total - 12 inside equals 55.5cubic ft total 2 to 2.5 tons roughly
plus 2x2 1ft tall on top and 2x2x1 on side for extra thickness 8 cubic ft total
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VERY HEAVY BRAIN PROTECTION
I did a calculation that was for protection around brain that was 4 or 4.5 ft long so my head and body would go into it 1.5 or 2ft.
The entire back wall was 2ft thick the entire celling was 2ft thick the side walls were 1ft thick. It was 4.1 tons but
. Then the section around the body would be reduced since it takes care of all of that part.
If that part is 1ft thick except for the floor which is .5 ft thick then it would weigh 2.5 tons. Total is 6.6 tons.
None of this was with poly tubing.
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544
188
424
236
68
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THIS IS A CYLINDRICAL COMPLETE ENCLOSURE YOU COULD LIVE IN SLEEP OR WORK IN
8x8x8.5 outside
6x6x6 interior
2ft thick celling
.5ft thick floor
1ft thick wall all the way around
9.44 tons at 80lb a cubic ft
11.8 tons at 100lb a cubic ft
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LIVING ENCLOSURE WITH BACK WALL
has a 8x8.5x1ft thick back extra wall behind it for two ft thick protection in one direction
adds 2.72 tons at 80lb a cubic ton3.4 tons at 100lb a cubic ton
TOTAL 12.16 tons at 80lb per cubic ton 15.2 tons at 100lb a cubic ft
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Im guessing you can have basalt shipped to you or move it yourself for as little as $100 a ton or $200 a ton
The most you should pay even in the worst locations is about $1000 per ton I think
You can get cheaper shipping with bulk orders and perhaps cheaper if you have a buisinsess buy it for you.
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So with 15 tons it would take $1500 to $3000 in the best location and $15000 or less in the worst
with half of that at 7.5 tons it would take $750 to $1500 in the best location and $7500 at most in the worst
If a TI had enough money they could even double this protection in the best location.
You haft to figure out how to have it meet the right building codes for earth homes or whatever.
You might help it to stay up and protect it with fence posts cinderblocks and cement or bricks and cement.
If you have sandbags exposed to the sun put a heavy tarp over them to make them last longer.
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For the door perhaps you just take out a 18 inch wide 10 inch tall piece at the bottom and put some frame around it
to hold it up and then after you crawl in you block it up with sandbags of basalt. One thing you might use is basalt
blocks as the frame and you might be able to use some kind of mortar based on sand sized criva or to mix criva with mortar.
Solid basalt blocks havnt been tested yet.
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So I'm being forced against my will to use only 2 to 4 tons of basalt even though I have been planning on using 6 or 7 tons to get a full foot around my body and 2ft on the top of my head and behind it that takes up that whole surface.
So I can only make it 6 inches thick for most of it. Its a challenge to try and make close to six inches thick instead of a lot more or less than that. Its a challenge to have it overlap and to block the seams between the bags well enough
with only 6 inches thick. Iv heard that full size 14 inch by 26 inch long sandbags are about 6 to 8 inches thick when full. This already might make it much much thicker if it has to be 8 inches and I dont think they could be pushed together
well enough to erase the spaces between them. Im thinking that to block RNM possibly its more important to have a complete protection lass bad weak points in it then with physical attacks Its important for me thinking its a good test at
least ast his thickness. Use the mini sand bags in a double layer for the roof and floor but I'm still somewhat worried about blocking the cracks well enough and I dont know how thick it will be. Since I already ordered a ton of dust I need to
use that so Ill need to put it in large strong enough plastic bags and then put it in the mini sand bags. Or I could just put it in my 6x9 inch 4 mil plastic bags and tape them closed or use zip lock quart, half gallon or gallon bags from the grocery store
possibly. I could use other plastic bags. I could use small plastic bags and do like 3 offset overlapping layers or something. only one of my 3 or 4 tons is dust.
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I dont know how it will go for the side walls If i use the mini sandbags it will only be one layer thick and dont know if the spaces between then can be blocked well enough like that. The wall will be 3.25ft tall when you include the ceiling and the floor
as part of the walls height. My friend told me that's as high as you can build with round gravel and non round gravel you can build a 4ft high wall perhaps but that with normal sandbags not mini ones. I will have the plywood frame on one side and
can put water containers holding up a piece of plywood on the other side and stack them between them though. I dont know if this will work well enough.
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I had the idea of using poly tubing. This is a tube of 6 mill or less plastic that you can cut and then seal to create bags. You can just buy the roll though. So I could use to layers of 3 inch wide poly tubing running the entire length of the structure to
create first the basalt floor and then the basalt ceiling. They would be offset so that the second layer blocks the cracks in the first. I dont know if you can mush them or leave some out and then flatten them to cover the cracks better.
I could also use 3 layers of 2 inch thick poly tubing with perhaps the middle layer going crossways. Im thinking Ill put a strip of plywood sticking up 6 inches on either side of it so that it can hold in the tubing on the ceiling and keep it from rolling off the side.
Then I can put one extra piece right on top of the plywood divider to cover the gap between the side wall and the ceiling which end at the same height. I dont know how this would work for the walls. I might need the two pieces of plywood on either side. I dont know if
it would be strong enough especially if I use 6 inch wide tubing. I could fit in smaller tubes where two big tubes join each other. You can seal them with twist ties or a heat gun or a might use zip ties. I dont know what works. One benefit of using these is that
instead of a wall of solid basalt, if the tubes end up round then only 75 percent of the space will be full of basalt saving me weight. I dont understand how it isn't a problem to have any empty space in the wall at all though.
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If i put my basalt in poly tube bags and it forms a pretty non flexible cylinder then it might not matter much if I use smaller criva or 3/8 to 5/8 buttons in terms of the flexibility. Since part of my structure will only be 6 inches thick though it might be more important
to keep the rocks small and reduce the gaps between them. Also because im making a complete enclosure and trying to put thicker protection around my brain then your 1ft I I will I will hopefully be able to reduce the RNM and attacks on my brain more then you
can reduce your attacks on you head with your set up. Possibly with RNM and mental attacks blocking the cracks matters more I dont know.
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6 mil poly tubing different sizes dont know if its good quality
https://www.packagingsupplies.com/collections/6-mil-poly-tubing?msclkid=95131bb30bca15b91bc17fc492a9d4a8&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Dynamic%20Search&utm_term=packagingsupplies&utm_content=All%20Webpages
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WATER SHIELDING
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Method One
This uses 1.25 wide 2.33ft tall 15 gallon cylindrical water containers. I'm thinking I need two layers so that I can offset the first with the second layer on the outside. Each container on the outside has its center blocking the spot where the two containers on the inside layer
meet. This makes a wall of water without weakness I hope. The wall needs to be 3.25f so it needs to be taller. On top of these containers on the inside layer of them is a single row of collapsible 5.3 gallons water containers.
I'm thinking Ill put a plywood between them and the containers underneath them so they can be pushed together and fit closely together and so the different diameter doesn't cause them to go off.
The top of the 15 gallon containers has a spot at the top where there's a gap thats a weakness. Im thinking Ill put 1 gallon water bag there perhaps partially empty to make it more malleable and the weight of
the 5 gallon container will hopefully mush it down so it fills in the uneven gaps in the top of the 15 gallon container. In front of the row of 5 gallon containers on top of the 15 gallon containers Ill put a pool tube to help block the weakness on top of the 15 gallon containers.
Ill overlap these pool tubes at the end in order to create a totally unbroken wall of water. Because the wall needs to be little taller Ill add large fomentek water bags at the top. The large fomentek bag has its top 6 inches lying on top of the 5 gallon container
and its held in place by a couple bricks wrapped in tarp or something temporarily. The bags hang down on the inside and overlap hopefully by 6 inches from bag to bag. Then you put 4 3x6x1.25 giant 140 gallon water bags on top of the structure lying perpendicular
to it. They overlap all the water walls by a foot. Then the pool tubes are put over the gaps between them. When there full you slide your hand under and remove the bricks from the water bags if possible. Or the top could be made of water bags.
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Method 2
You use 6 or possibly 8 140 gallon water bags for the main wall of water. There 3ft wide, 6ft long and 1.25ft thick. First you position and fill the 15 gallon containers. You put 4 on the outside of every water bag. They weigh 120lb each and the water bag weighs
1100lb. So with 4 on one side weighing almost half as much as the water bag and the basalt and frame wall on the other side it might keep them standing up well enough. They 15 gallons are 2.33ft high and the water bags are 3ft tall standing on there side so tall
enough to hold them up. Putting another 500lb of sandbags on top of the 4 containers might work well if the water containers arnt enough. You position a 15 gallon in front of the spot where two water bags meet and then put a 5.3 gallon container on top so its
as tall as the water bag. You can also put fomenteck water bags over the crack as well if you can make them stay in place. You could two to shield one end and then two each side. The two on the end extend way outside of the actual area your shielding.
The ones on both sides form a tight wall along with the two on the end but then extend of the other side somewhat. The width of the basalt structure is 4.25ft and the length of the water bag is 6ft. So you could push the two that extend from the side of the end over
.85ft each to make room to fit the final end water bag between them. You might be able to overlap the where the waterbags meet on the lengthwise sides as well. There are different sizes you might be able to use to make it fit better. The roof of the water shielding might
bend down .25ft to meet the wall or you could put fomenteck waterbags on top perhaps. Like with the first method you might need to put something light weight on top of the structure to help prop up the water ceiling that the top of the basalt structure is roughly
level with the top of the water wall. This is a nice method in that you be able to set it up quickly because there you dont have to postion a bunch of things carefully. They just start in the position and it will only take a small number of hours for a garden hose to fill all
the containers from what I read. Its also nice because you can keep better track of the small amount of cracks. You could also use 4 inch fence posts and fence post foam or concrete possibly to hold up the water bladders. You could dig it with a 3 inch auger attached
to a well powered drill instead of using a fence post digger, shovel or a real auger. To protect the fomenteck water bags and the 5.3 gallon constrainers the more delicate ones you could use 1 or two layers of heavy cheap moving blankets.
Hopefully this would block pretty decent air guns and stuff that gang stalkers might try to shoot at them and you could protect it with plywood from the most vulnerable direction. Can also protect them from any natural damage. Then you can put a heavy tarp
to help protect them from the sun. Poly tubing might also work for water shielding especially for the roof where there isnt much pressure on it or for shielding cracks but I dont know about how you close them so no idea if it works.
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The water shielding can act as an automatic sound barrior as you build I think and while you test the structure.
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HOW MANY 15 GALLON WATER CONTAINERS FOR A DOUBLE LAYER AROUND A 9XFT LONG 5FT WIDE BASALT STRUCTURE 6o of them about $10000
9 containers long is 11.25ft nearly long enough to the length of the structure 9 plus 2 containers which is 11.5
18 for first layer on sides
8 for first layer on ends since it takes exactly 4 to equal 5ft and fill in the space
26 for first layer
sides second layer is 22
ends second layer is 12
second layer is 34
total is 60 for double layer 1 heigh containers costs $1000
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15 gallon containers
https://www.thecarycompany.com/15-gallon-natural-tight-head-plastic-drum-reconditioned?utm_source=google_shopping&gclid=CjwKCAjw04yjBhApEiwAJcvNoT17vQCNe5vGlbW7CsZwLvpR_zIfcWKd_kqJI9DiGmnCwOBDVTTwOxoCj9YQAvD_BwE#specifications
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140 gallon water bags and other sizes
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BL29YQKB/ref=ox_sc_act_title_3?smid=A1UJFOP8HLWSUN&psc=1
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large fomentek water bag
https://www.amazon.com/Large-Fomentek-Hot-Cold-Watedp/B00WVPNWZC/ref=sr_1_9?crid=336IIOOXN93R&keywords=fomenteck%2Bwater%2Btherapy%2Bbags&qid=1685220594&sprefix=fomenteck%2Bwater%2Btherapy%2Bbags%2Caps%2C84&sr=8-9&th=1
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large fomentek water bags in bulk cheaper
https://www.backbenimble.com/fomentek-hot-water-bottles.htm?msclkid=6459c66592211766d702a217101d5398
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1.3 gallon containers
36 Pcs 1.3 Gallon Collapsible Water Storage Bag Water Container Bag Emergency Jug Clear Plastic Storage Pouch Freezable Water Carrier Tank Foldable Bottle for Outdoor Sport Camping Hiking Backpack
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5.3 gallon collapsible containers not quite as big as they say for the ones I measured that i got from walmart after I filled them up to the absolute top. It was 10 inches wide 12 inches deep and 10 inches high or something.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09MVNJG17/ref=ox_sc_act_title_46?smid=AFACUH7IM17NK&psc=1
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pool water bag 10ft long and is it 1ft wide? $9 and free shipping
https://intheswim.com/p/10-single-water-bag-blue/72909.html#description-btn-div
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HIDING THE STRUCTURE
You could use a pop up gazebo or a more quickly set up greenhouse or possibly a soft storage shed wich is similar if there big enough. You set up the pop up gazebo and then build it inside of it. The gazebo is more respectable and accepted by
landlords and stuff then a big tent or tarp. Put a heavy tarp over the gazebo possibly to protect it from weather and other damage. If the amount of steel or aluminum in it is too much in the gazebo and messes up the shielding you might be able move it off of the
structure with a person or 4 wheeled doly on each leg ( just a random idea).
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IMPORTANT TO MOVE WITH URGENCY
The economy will get worse as far as I know and will possibly collapse. Gas prices will rise during the summer at least. Basalt and other materials and items might become less available.
The warm weather will end eventually making it a lot harder to complete a large structure. I certainly feel texteme urgency because of my rapid mental and physical decline and also these reasons.
Also as far as I understand it which is quite limited the world is getting worse and more controling, gang stalking will probably get more alot more empowered and there technology is getting better.
But the best way to move effectively is still to be smart and deliberate to test things as far as I know. It takes time to be smart so you should get started on it.
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QUESTIONS
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I didnt condense my questions enough i just tried to cover everything mostly even though I must have missed alot of things. I leave it to you to judge what information I need the most and to answer the questions and give other information
in the most helpful way you have time for. What I need urgently is to order my basalt and my water containers and I can figure out the other details as the stuffs on the way. So I need to be able to decide on a rough plan and on a type of basalt so I can order my
basalt. I need to know if water shielding is going to helpful for me and how much water I need.
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So I'm trying to block RNM because sinking up there attacks with my thoughts is an incredibly important part of the attacks. I want to block the mental attacks themselves but blocking the RNM will probably be enough to make that stop
by itself. I also need to block them making me feel emotionally numb, low energy, extremely depressed lack a void of happiness chemicals or something and making extremely unintelligent and cant form thoughts. These symptoms all vary at the
same time and seem parts of the same attack. Sometimes when its bad its also very hard to move and I can percieve my body as heavy and stuck and strange. My conciousness is compressed and receads as if I dont extist and I become detatched
Also reduces anxiety. Happened when I was writting this because speaking about it is a trigger for them and I had to wait for find the words. Other TIs talk about similar symptoms.
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These symptoms can all change
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an extreme amount in just a second since its artificial and they change based on triggers that hold an emotional charge and significance to my attackers.
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So i'm only trying to block them attacking my brain.
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How should the basalt be around my body compared to around my head?
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How thick should it be around my feet compared to my body?

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I think you said that you need it double thick above your head and behind it but in the pictures of your set up it showed 1 full crate above and 1 full crate behind the same as the full crate on either side.
Is it true that you need it double thick above and double thick protection behind while in a prone position?
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Why is that? Is above more important just because of the angle of attack or that part of the brain?
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Is this also going to be true with me whos not trying to block physical attacks? Will my forehead or face or top of head or both be more vulnerable?
Since all im trying to block are the RNM, mental attacks and perhaps nervous system influence ( just totally guessing about that last comment )
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In your photos you have pillowcases with basalt on top of the side crates and back crate covering the crack where they meet the top crate. The pillowcases only give you like 3 inches of protection. How does that actually work to block the crack?
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Why dont you need basalt to block the vertical cracks between the crates?
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I cant get a good handle on why you dont need 2 crates high 2 crates deep and 3 crates wide with one removed for your head to get the protection.
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Why dont you need basalt to block the vertical cracks between the crates?
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How much do you think the protection varies by thickness? If you double it or half it how much does the protection multiply or divide?
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What's the highest amount you think youve divided the attacks by and what was the weakness that stopped you from dividing it further?
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Could I divide it more than that and how?
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Do you think RNM and mental attacks will require more or less basalt then physical attacks. They seem to be able to intrude on my mind for reading or attacking to a
very unusual degree and none of my shielding tests have effected it at all for many years although I've done some wich might be very strong ones.
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WATER SHIELDING QUSTIONS
Do you think I need water with my basalt since it will cost me $1000 or $1500 to $2500? I think i've seen you say it blocks DC heavy pressure. Is that a single type of physical attack or an important aspect of electromagnetism?
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What are the chances they could use DC heavy pressure in a mental?
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Will all types of attacks be blocked with the combination of basalt and water if you have enough?
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is that the magic combination for everyone or just for your physical attacks.
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Whats the ratio in thickness of water to basalt for a full shield of water?
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How much do you think the amount of time I spend inside it will affect how well it works. Like will spending only 2 hours in it be a lot inferior then being able to spend 24 hours or a week.
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What do you think about how to build it?
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Do you think it would be ok to use small nail gun nails in the frame since the mainstay bags that you have metal on them?
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What are angles of attack and how does it make sense to set up my thicker protection
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I need any kind of help you can give me with this project. Iv been working on this plan and this post for 6 to 12 days where the marjority of my work everyday was on it. Then other weeks and months
on similar plans and research on making basalt shielding happen. So it takes me forevor to do anything even though I labor all day during the time im not recovering from it. It doesnt seem like Im capable of
taking in the information on what basalt shields and on the measurments and to figure out how to classify my attacks. I had to make a simple summary of the most simple aspects of using basalt and water
to understand it and that must have taken me a day or more of work to piece together different posts and to organize.

TL;DR**:** Hypergryph is relying way too much on Alters to give some much needed spotlight to some characters, when Alters shouldn't be a must to give low-rarity characters their own events or plots and if they continue that trend it will kill my hype for their stories, particularly in those cases where an Alter was simply not needed lore-wise before their event (A.K.A Silence Alter).

Welcome everyone to my heavily biased rant that no one but me might agree with and that will most likely be downvoted to oblivion. That's okay, you might have your own take, this is just my opinion. Feel free to disagree with everything I'm about to rant here like the madwoman screaming to the wall that I am right now.
With that out of the way and if you are still reading this, let's begin.

Alters on Arknights: A story-telling tool

...Let's talk about Alters, shall we?
Love them or hate them, they can be a tool for when an unit has potential and powers on their lore that aren't reflected on the original unit for whatever reason, or stuff that is foreshadowed on their lore that has a good reason to be relegated to an Alter unit (Texas having left the mafia for example, or Shining having made an oath to never use her sword again... whenever Shining Alter ever actually happens).
Something I liked going into Arknights is that Alters were rarely used solely as a money-grabbing scheme. They were that too, don't get me wrong, this is still a gacha game, but still... I got the sense that, unlike in other gacha games, Alters in Arknights actually had a narrative purpose, and it was one that wasn't deliberately engineered in a way that you could say that a certain event was just written in such a way to make an Alter happen (There's just 2 examples, maybe 4, of that happening in this game from what I counted, with only 3 of those released in Global right now, but we'll get to those ones in a second), but it was always born from lore that had already long existed before the Alter unit did.
With very few exceptions, all of the Alters we have gotten on Arknights actually have a reason to exist that was mentioned or at least hinted at long before their debut... Which makes those who did came out of the blue stick out all the more like a sore thumb.
To prove my point, I'm gonna list every Alter on the game so far with the exception of one, including the newly announced Executor Alter, and I'm gonna give a short summary of the lore that had been established for their existence prior to their actual release:
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• Lava the Purgatory, Kroos the Keen Glint, Hibiscus the Purifier and Greyy the Lightningbearer: Putting all four of these together because they share the same theme, and that theme is "Young/Inexperienced Operators growing up". With the exception of Greyy, all of these were 3 stars. The Op Reserve A1 Operators have some lore going on that has yet to be completely explored, and their 3 star selves being young gives them lots of room to grow. 4 star Greyy is a literal child, so it makes sense that when he shows up again, now older and a little more experienced, his rarity would reflect that. And while all of these, particularly Greyy's, may have less of a reason to exist that most of the other Alters on this list, that's more forgivable than say, Chalter, because all these four are either welfare or have a low rarity, with both Hibiscus Alter and Greyy Alter being rather niche 5 stars, which makes them unlikely to have been just a money-grabbing decision despite being gacha.
• Skadi the Corrupting Heart: Ever since her release, Base Skadi's files already described her as a "walking Catastrophe"... despite the fact that, prior to Gladiia's existence and the modules that would make the Abyssal Hunter niche a game-breaking team, she was actually considered one of the worst 6 stars of the game, and even today she's still rather mediocre at best without her faction supporting her, particularly when compared to other 6 star units. And even though the whole Ishar-mla sideplot wasn't introduced until her debut event, there were already hints of something Lovecraftian going on (Skadi's files, Specter's files, even Operators mostly unrelated to them as of this writing like Blue Poison's files and Deepcolor's... well, everything), with lots of lore readers predicting that something was going to happen, even on this very subreddit. And even though that something being a Bard Alter with a whole alternate universe Bad Ending storyline cop-out wasn't in anyone's predictions, it still had a lot more lore build-up to it than, say...
• Ch'en the Holungday: I don't need to repeat that lots of cans of worms got opened back when she released, but in case you don't know, here's an essay from two years ago about that whole drama. There's really not much more to say about her, she exists, moving on.
• Nearl the Radiant Knight: Base Nearl's files were already foreshadowing an Alter, what with them saying that "her current gear is somewhat limiting Nearl's combat utility". So when she got one in the Near Light event, I doubt anyone was truly surprised by it. Not much else to say, really.
• Specter the Unchained: If there were any doubts about Specter getting an Alter (or at the very least regaining her sanity during the Abyssal Hunter plotline), Under Tides and the second Operator Record that Specter got in that update, in which she became lucid again for a brief period of time only to lose it again after returning to Rhodes Island, should have been strong enough hints that HG was gonna do something with her in the sequel to that event. The only issues with the idea of an Alter, of course, being that any 6 star Alter would have felt redundant to what's quite possibly one of the best 5 stars of the game, and Specter Alter indeed had to get modules after her release to make her truly worth building. But gameplay aside, Specter getting an Alter made perfect sense with her pre-established lore.
• Gavial the Invincible: If Nearl getting an Alter was obvious, then Gavial might as well have had "I'm getting an Alter one day" tattooed on her tail. Her whole lore is that she is a warrior with excellent fighting prowess who just happened to chose to save more lives by being a medic instead. And even then, unlike Shining, her files and voicelines constantly have her willing to fight people herself... despite her 3 star medic self not having any abilities that would let her deal damage on her actual in-game kit. Like, at all. So if anything, Miss "I regret not giving them a few whacks with this staff here" not getting an Alter would have felt like a waste.
• Reed the Flame Shadow: Here's another Alter that was hinted at on the files of the original Operator long before their release. Even leaving the whole Victoria plotline aside, here we have an Operator who is described on her files as having Arts that are not mere pyrokinesis, but rather the manipulation of life itself**.** And that description was in the files of... a 5-star Charger Vanguard with just a 35% of Arts attack during skill activation, and that's with that skill having a full M3. Yeah... This Alter was not a question of "if", but rather "when".
• Texas the Omertosa: The case of this Alter would be on the same boat as Nearl's and Reed's if it wasn't for a funny little detail: I could be wrong, but I think that Base Texas and Lappland have been in the game since launch. That means that this Alter had been teased since Day 1. Let that sink in for a moment. But yeah, you all know the drill with this one: Mysterious past, mafia connections being mentioned here and there, Lappland mentioning that she "might try to bring back the old Texas", how she used to fight with two swords, ect... If anything, those who saw the hints early and liked what was being foreshadowed would have to wait a long time to finally get it, though HG made sure that those who had to wait no less than 2 years for this Alter to finally happen would be rewarded with a very powerful unit. Maybe a little too powerful in fact, but that's another topic entirely.
• Executor Alter (...what was the full name of this one again? I don't know Chinese): This one is similar to Skadi's case but without any non-canonical alternate timeline shenanigans (...I hope). Our good ol' friend Federico here is a very powerful individual, a true one-man army, or so his files have always said. There's even a mention that he singlehandedly prevented a war from happening (or nearly caused it himself? The way it is written is kinda vague...), damaged six buildings while on a mission, and killed a vicious beast with his bare hands. All that while still being a rather unremarkable (Not bad, just... unremarkable) 5-star spreadshooter sniper. So him getting a 6-star Alter is not that surprising.

Out of all these Alters, only Chalter was truly gratuitous in that she is only Ch'en with a modified water gun, nothing leading up to her existing prior to Dossoles Holiday. Other than her, only Greyy Alter and maybe Skalter could be criticized for coming out of nowhere, and even then they still have a decent enough reason to exist, with Skadi having already had a whole event and pre-existing lore prior to Under Tides, her Alter, and the whole Bad Ending stuff that came with it that would eventually lead to IS3.
...Oh yeah, there's also Yato and Noir Corne randomly getting Alters as part of the Monster Hunter collab, but other than my personal take on it and how I really hope Collab Alters won't be a recurring thing... It is just a collab, what did you expect? And even then, it could be argued that it makes sense for those Operators in particular to have been given the Alters, as they are both said to be experienced and reliable ops in their lore, but are held back from fully being that in-game because of their 2 star rarity.
My point is that, so far, almost all Alters had some lore reason to be that I could agree with.
And then... Silence Alter was announced.

Silence the Paradigmatic: One step forward, two steps back

When I first saw the Lonetrail trailer and saw Silence Alter, I was hyped. Silence was getting an Alter, and not only that, she was gonna be welfare? Could this be a sign that HG is finally gonna leave the trend of Limited Alters behind? My happiness was unmeasurable.
But then, after my excitement died down and I started to think, I realized something...
Go and read all the current Rhine Labs lore Including the manga. Including OG Silence's files, especially OG Silence's files.
Now, let me ask you a question: Did Olivia Silence, as a character, needed an Alter?
Was there anything on her files, or in the manga, or on some module or an Operator Record, that said anything about her character that would require her to be stronger in-game that she already was? Or something that would need to have her change her whole in-game class or kit?
Because, and this is just in my honest, humble opinion: No. No there was not.
Silence was not some kid or teenager like Greyy or the Reserve A1 squad. She wasn't holding back any "true power" cliché nor was she currently anything other than what she was in the past, like Gavial or Nearl. Silence was just Silence: A woman, a mother, a medic.
That's not to say that Olivia Silence didn't had room to grow as a character, I for one was very hopeful for a Rhine Labs event to touch on her strained relationship with Saria once again and I'm happy that Lonetrail seems to have gone there. But unlike, say, Texas or Reed, none of the character growth that was ever hinted at with Silence seemed to have anything to do with the possibility of an Alter. There was nothing on her files or she as a character that screamed "I need an Alter".
Olivia Silence and her whole character arc didn't need her to have a sudden 6 star Alter, just as she didn't need a 6 star Alter when she left Rhine Labs in her backstory, nor after the "present day" sideplot in the manga. Just like she didn't need one in Dorothy's Vision. There was nothing, no plot or event or sequel to the manga or whatever, that wouldn't had made sense with Silence just remaining her 5-stars Medic self.
Her class, her kit, heck arguably even her rarity made sense with her lore.
But now, she's an Abjurer supporter because... she went to space? That at its core it's not that much better than Chalter existing because Ch'en went to Dossoles and Tequila sold her a water gun there...
Okay, that was just me taking the piss, but still... Look, I'm sure Lonetrail is gonna be great and that I'm gonna love reading it once it comes to Global, and might give a good explanation as to why Silence Alter exists, but that still leaves this Alter with a flaw that, as I have exposed earlier, few of the Alters in this game actually had: There was little to no reason for this Alter to exist prior to the event it came out with. Whatever lore reason Lonetrail gives, it will be a self-sustained one because the Alter is already there.
You could argue than the pre-existing lore here is Silence's already established desire of curing Oripathy. But if that alone was the case, then a lot of other Operators at Rhodes Island should also get an Alter, starting with Sussurro. That alone doesn't feel like enough of a reason for an Alter.
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Character growth equals... Alter?

And that's when it hit me: I was not angry or disappointed that Silence was given an Alter with zero build-up to it.
I'm disappointed and a little salty because HG took a character arc I was patiently waiting for and then shoved up a good but still unnecessary Alter into it as if Alters were now obligatory, limited unit or not.
As if a low-rarity character can't have character growth or their own story arc without relying on an Alter. As if HG isn't confident enough on their own event stories without a shiny new Alter unit to help them promote them.
I like this game, and I love its characters, but I don't want to have to expect an Alter out of my favorite character just because I want them to finally appear on their own plotline. I don't want Andreana to finally appear on the next Abyssal Hunter event but as a weird Alter version of herself with the white hair and red eyes of the other Hunters like some people on this subreddit have suggested, not when Andreana's whole deal on her files is that she is her own thing: A gun-loving but normal woman who just happened to have been experimented on in the past, and giving her a more abyssal appearance or changing her class would erase that. I don't want Thorns to suddenly have a completely unnecessary Geek or Medic Alter just because I want him to have his own sidestory and have his past explored. Cuora finally regaining her memories... Okay, I guess an Alter wouldn't be so out of place there, but you surely get my point by now, do you?
You don't need Alters to tell a good story, and Alters shouldn't have to be equivalent to character growth.
"But that's just how gachas work!" Maybe. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
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That's all. Thanks for reading my nonsense if you reached this far, thank you.

to start off, i completely understand the frustration surrounding merch, audience connection/interaction, and partially the VIP experience. i have VIP tickets; yes they were expensive, yes the merch pack doesn’t look as expensive as it was/is. however, we were not promised ANYTHING. it sucks, but it’s not like they guaranteed certain items and then failed to provide them. the digital portion, i understand. i’m still not sure if people have received them, and i hope that gets resolved cause that’s not acceptable. my main issue lies in the fact that people are seeming to accuse mel of not caring about her fans, and i honestly think that’s very unfair to say. artists don’t have as much say as you think when it comes to their marketing team. also, insulting the way she chooses to perform and calling her a “weak” and/or “lazy” performer is so,, mean..? like i don’t understand why all these long-time fans are SO mad just because she’s not performing songs from previous albums (she LITERALLY said she wouldn’t, so idk why y’all still expected it). i’ve been a fan since 2015-2016, and i seriously don’t get where all this sudden hate is coming from. i get the backlash toward her merch team, but come on 😭 what is mel supposed to do. for all we know, she could be advising her team to be better, but she can only do so much. she’s one person you guys. idk maybe i’m missing something

hey, back here again. How you've been? my break up was, 1y 1mo ago and its has been the most hard time of my life, since then, I saw I could be easily vanished from someone's life, I saw my presence as nothing, that I am not "cravable" in any capacity. I wish my worth wasn't so directly affected by how abandoned I was, because that is giving so much power to the ppl surrounding me, all the control is on how the exterior treats me and not on the interior (me). How well could I treat myself, if that dependency wasn't so real. In fact, that has been virtually impossible, I can't stand that I am suffering like this, not how much, but how it is affecting and dictating my life to worse, from waking up to falling asleep, can't focus and be on the moment. I dissociate, day dream, fantasize, delay tasks etc.. whatever it makes me far from the reality. Including screwing up my sobriety, I just wanna go lose myself, endlessly scrolling, watching yt or trying to write one sentence on my uni final papers. Miss some days at my part time job and my night school is not perfect, but I am trying. But I know how much I am delaying everything and how much that will affect me. Not only stress but how I see myself. How different I wish I was. I just wanted to control myself better, to have discipline and be higher than any validation I could gather from interacting w/ someone else. With that I am so scared to letting myself feel any connection and question if I could even build friendships or relationships without hurting my core in a "unlivible" way. Since I don't know if sometimes I am right or it's " just my bpd".. which is very defeating..it's nuts...This disease is really killing who I am deep inside, to the point I am forgetting my identity , my wants/needs/likes..., my bubblie character, my smile, the way I see life, my strength, everything...is killing also any prospects of getting better too. The intrusive thoughts are winning once more, and isolating me to one sad, unsuccessful and alone person. Very dramatic yeah, but true.

Terror gripped my mind as the gigantic bear started to charge towards me. My army critically wounded and the first of the few defensive lines compromised, outnumbered, overpowered, overrun... as I desperately searched for any options, a way to defeat my foe, temporarily or permanently, I just found myself running into a wall sooner or later - I could only delay, never actually stop this attack, even if I were to sacrifice my spawners for the temporary mana gain that could let me pump out more denizens, but even then they would just be crushed by the monstrosity, it's hatred alone enough to pierce my defences, a body so large it might uproot the tree itself and a mind behind it that would not stop at anything short of absolute annihilation. "Is this really so bad?" I thought with a weak voice, "Death just means I get resurrected again, does it not?" with every passing thought the idea seemed more enticing, before I came to the horrifying conclusion that I did not actually _know_ what would happen if I died here. I may have been resurrected before, but who is to say that I would have the same chance again, especially after failing, _giving up?_ This core is not just a body, it is the soul of mine - so if Deepholm takes it, _IS_ there even such a thing as heaven or hell for me? And would I accept giving up all of what I've built here to have all my progress and my memories wiped, damning this place to be taken by this abominable presence below?
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No matter how I tried to argue, losing here was not an option I was willing to accept, and I could not sink even deeper in my contemplation as I was torn out of them by the bellowing roar that was far closer to me than previously, emitted by the Bear with the Jackalope on it's back, having shaped the bow into a spear and penetrating the thick hide to lodge it between the bones, using it both to delay it's advance and find grip on the movable Bulk which tried to shake her off. Focussing on the Scene, the bear was pelted by a mass of flechettes, though they did little more than slow it down as the few that actually pierced it's pelt were simply pushed out by the regenerating factor, leaving it enraged rather than hurt. And Jackie herself, despite her amazing growth and skill, was struggling to remain on it as it shook, before rolling over and crushing her with it's ~~meaty posterior~~ massive weight. Though I saw Jackie still living, protected by her Aether armor and fast sprouting vines that formed a dome, she was heavily wounded and exhausted by all these actions, the spear still lodged into the bear but proving to be as effective as a nail would against an elephant. Is this really all I can do? Was I doomed from the start, simply for having appeared above something that would not tolerate any other existence? Did I fail to plan for the invasion properly? Is it all my fault, that my loyal denizens, scions and all the people in my domain will die? was I that useless? I feel myself on the verge of tears as The slow but steady grind of Deepholm crushed all that I have, the battle brutal but ultimately hopeless.
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Kelvin was making hasty progress through Deepholm's domain but I knew that he would not find the core in time, let alone reach it, and even if he did I doubt that it'll be found without resistance. Giorno was commanding the swindling troops to hold the line just that little bit longer for me to come up with something. Emmet was trying to rushing the production of concoctions, her supplies already low and the draughts providing little advantage against such an overwhelming foe, Alexa was in the air watching over her companions which were decimated just like that time when Deepholm tried to deprive me of another spawner, though this time around there would be no more survivors. And Jackie was still fighting tooth and nail to keep herself from being crushed as well as attempting to find some form of weak spot, some kind of special strike just to hurt the Colossus in any meaningful way yet found herself at her limit as no amount of effort provided any change, her strength waning by the second. Is this it?
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I close my vision, praying to the heavens above, as the last of my hope bled out and I had nothing more left. "Heavens above, God, Guardian Angels, please help me! I do not want to die!"
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The noise of the fighting continued, my denizens trying to hold off the endless horde
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"Please, was it not your will that I find myself upon this planet, fulfilling the role of a dungeon that you so desperately wanted?"
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Alexa cries out, having been hit by a sonic wave of the Bat scion, her equilibrium disturbed, falling to the surface
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"Why do you do this to me, when I was just doing what I thought you wanted? Did I do something wrong?"
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the secret laboratory is consumed in an explosion as the desperate mixing led to a fatal mistake, the chain reaction devastating the entire place
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"How can you expect us to live in your image when you allow this to happen? We do all we can, and this is how you reward us?"
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Giorno gives off a scared croak as the structures that serves as the defences started to collapse, leaving him under the collapsed rubble
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"Do you not love your creations? Is this a punishment for some transgression that our ancestors committed?"
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I feel Kelvin panicking as the last of his potions wore off with him nowhere near Deepholm's core
​
"ANSWER ME!"
​
But the only answer I got was the crumbling of the makeshift fortifications as the badgers and bears started to flow in, tearing apart whatever defenders were left. I look to the stars shining upon us, their light providing no guidance
​
"please...somebody..."
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Jackie was lying on the ground, the Armor gone, the horns broken, lungs collapsed as her attempts at simply staying alive were weakening
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_"anybody..."_
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The twins lie unconscious, exhausted of all their mana and wounds marring their body
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*"save me"*
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[PACT ACCEPTED]
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Without even an instance passing I find myself in outer space, or someplace akin to it, stellar bodies surrounding me like trees in a forest, so close yet so far away with their infinite beauty as the nebula in the back ground stretches it's orange, purple and all other facets of color into infinity. There is no up and down, no past or future, and for a moment I find myself left speechless at this arcane wonder I found myself in. There were no words spoken, no sound made and no interruption of the visage had, but a foreign thought reverberated through my mind. Safety. Power, to defend myself against those who would seek to subsume me. The knowledge and guidance to achieve victory once and for all. And a price to be paid, a prize of my choosing. Without even thinking properly, I answer with the one thing that comes to mind, something as priceless yet worthless to me as could be
​
"In turn, I offer you Deepholm. all it's territory, all it's land. It's scions, it's spawners, it's knowledge. I want none of it. And once the last piece of it's core was subsumed, the last of it's offspring removed, it shall all be yours"
​
not a sound came out of me, yet the offer was made, and the stars shone in acceptance. The universe itself seemed to expand and contract at the same, my vision focussing out. I let go of the reigns and let s̸̨̧̢̧͓͙̞͖̠̬̊͐͊̈́̅͋̈́̿͋̀̀͆̈́̋̋̓̐̽̀͜͠͝H̷̡̙̖̖̤̻̽͊̎̒̔̓͆̏̈́̎̉̉͛͝e̸̢̼̯̥͇̱͖̻̣͖͒̄̾̐̽̎̒̿̀̈̀̀̇̄̅̔̊̾̆̽͒̽̚̚͝y̸̖̲̯͂͌̅̈̀̕͘ take the lead ***control*** as I black out
​
​
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**LYDIA POV**
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Fire. Fire everywhere
​
That is all I could feel, despite knowing fully well that there was none. And yet, in spite of the calming words I was trying to tell myself, the unconvincing lies that it might be alright, any focus I tried to direct inwards was just torn apart by the horror instilled into me. The battle - no, _slaughter_ that was happening on the once almost idyllic dungeon, the fields and tree covered in blood, the screams of dying creatures of all kinds, and the marks of a battle soon lost, not a single able bodied scion in sight with the last spark resistance pushed back deeper and deeper. Though the comparison seemed far fetched in a sense, my brain lapped it up like a dog from the desert, the colossal bear's brutality and iridescent glowing blood floating around the battlefield almost having a morbid beauty about them if it were not for the uncanny resemblance with the past. I knew I had to get away, if not for my own safety then to report about the murdering that Deepholm has committed, but I was torn. Ignoring the fear that the execution caused, I still felt the need to do something to help Caldera in the back of my mind, as if I would lose something far more important than I could imagine if I just left her to die. Yet, what could I even do? I am merely an inspector, and I already almost got killed by Deepholm's assault when I rushed here to warn the mining party and then Caldera, and now it was an entire army that stood before me, not just some rogue animals. Looking at the exit while contemplating my options, I realised that fleeing was actually just as hopeless as fighting directly, as badgers have set up an uneasy line, disorganized but loyal enough to not abandon their post. Whatever miracle let me live those few days ago, it would not save me now, especially not now that they were on the lookout for anyone else fleeing and had air support as well. The only bit of grim spite I could find was the note that everybody else packed up already, hopefully able to make it back in time without being targeted by Deepholm and maybe even deliver my message for me.
​
Having no choice in this matter, I finally decided to do what I am best at, my mind slowly calming as I pull out my kanabō
​
"Let's see how many of you fuckers I can take down with me"
​
_well, this is it then_ were the thoughts that crossed my mind as I charged into certain death. _Sorry papa. I guess I won't survive for as long as you hoped me to_
​
strike by strike, I kept the badgers at bay, dodging the hits as I dished out my own, the dead bodies slowly mounting yet the amount of living ones piling up faster
​
I did not last long until the only thing left that I could do was keep the monsters that encircled me away, my stamina at it's limit. The badgers looked at me with hateful hunger in their eyes and approached me as my strikes slowed to a halt, my body unable to keep this up. A sneering sound akin to a laugh came out of them before they pounced on me and started tearing my flesh from my bones
​
_"damn. This will be our end then I guess. and you were such a good dungeon too, Calde-_
​
My thought was torn apart by the abyssal boom that swept over the battlefield, a deep emotion of wrongness griping my body at the shockwave that even the colossus seemed to be unsettled by. A deafening silence followed the wave that everybody witnessed yet nobody heard, every being that was not knocked out staring at the core's location with various looks of confusion, nausea and fear, as even the scions could not comprehend what they perceived. yet then it washed over us all at once, as if god himself has descended to give the answer
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***this is not Caldera***
​
my body merely gave off a croak before I started throwing up, still standing straight and looking at the tree. The tree, once full of life, was now glowing a black light, the skies torn open from any clouds that could obscure the judging stars gazing upon us, and Hell was let loose upon earth
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My vision swam together as bears and badgers burst, unholy tendrils and roots having taken their place, their blood watering the soil for the being to fester
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The bats, once dominating the skies now were frozen in place, as if time itself has abandoned them, screaming silently into the void with contorted expressions of pain on their face.
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the once overwhelming colossus started vibrating in unnatural frequencies, their body torn apart from the inside as their flesh warped and melted into forms I could not comprehend, regenerating factor turned malicious cancer then servant as the new hulk dragged it's boiling body like an amoeba, chunks left behind in it's wake that the dark one all too eagerly consumed.
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and worst of all were the denizens, the once animalistic beings' faces contorted into an expression with hate that only gods could muster, their screeching rage tearing apart their voice bands as they rampaged, bodies spitting into pieces through the sheer fervour they fought with, yet still charging even as entire sections were missing.
​
above them all, 100 meters in front of the tree, a storm started to form, one of purple darkness and of magic not meant for this world, an unmoving vortex twisting matter around it like an artist may in a drawing, unnatural and impossible, an orange haze forming around it all the while
​
my brain felt like it was about to burst. the universe wept as reality itself screamed in rage, celestial rays piercing the ground at the transgression as I desperately tried to cover my eyes, only staining them with the blood flowing out, my body's wounds closing and sealing as my mind betrayed and consciousness failed me, my body writhing on the floor
​
**DEEPHOLM POV**
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"What an utter waste of mana"
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Deepholm spoke to itself in third person, mentally pacing through the lavishly decorated sanctuary
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"The interloper dares to enter his claimed space, and then resists elimination. INSOLENCE!"
​
the ground shook, the waves reverberating through his domain. a satisfied smirk appeared on his face. how could it hope to ever stand against him? Whatever trick it pulled against his voice, He would not fall twice for it. That cat it sent, it was a surprise to see it appear in his domain so suddenly, but taking care of it would not take long. Whatever plans it had were shattered with it's body, The sorcerer no match when in foreign domain, and the armies that were sent were probably not even a necessity as his scions alone could have uprooted the tree and destroyed the core.
​
"What an absolute waste"
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It starts laughing, wondering how for even a moment it could have expected anything more. The rush of imminent victory fills his soul as he listens through his bond with the scions about the progress they made, how the last of the interloper's scions fell. How nothing was left to stand between it and defeat. The laughter silently swept across the room, showing itself as ripples through the steady flow of mana pulsing out of the core. This is what it meant to be powerful! He feels mighty! he feels great! he feels-
​
***PAIN***
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a scream washes through the dungeon, wiping away any semblance of happiness it felt just a moment before as it recoiled, writhing at the new sensation filling it's perception. Turning his attention at the source hatefully, it finds the once the warm, pulsating domain that laid there like prey gone, replaced with a wall of torment and hostile intent, cold and black as it stood there unmoving. Raging, Deepholm reached out to it's scions, a mistake that it would regret soon after. The moment it established a proper connection with the scions horrifying visions filled it's mind, from the entirety of the universe to a place that was not meant to exist, twisted and tangled in shapes that would cause any other mind to babble and break. As if their body was it's own, for that split second it felt itself growing larger, tendons and muscle mutating into new organs that kept up the painful expansion, as eternity itself stretched out before him, a never ending stream in any given singular instance.
​
Wailing with unknown emotions, the Dungeon retreated back to it's core, the momentary insight sweeping across him like a wave of acid, leaving festering wound across the entire mental space. "What..._IS_ that damned creation..?" words that came out heavy, tinted by a fear never felt before. The answers came like tendrils, stretching out from the foreign domain and piercing his, deepening the wounds that were already inflicted. "Impossible..." was all he could mutter as his body was pierced by the blackening roots, dividing him into pieces - the pain keeping Deepholm from drowning in the surrealism and impossibility of it all.
​
And there, where once the corpse of the scion lay, an orb of nothingness manifested itself, the orange glimmer on the outside being the singular thing that prevented all from collapsing in it, a momentary space of reality and it's absence melding together. He could only stare, no arrogance, anger or joy remaining as the space grew to the size of the cave, light seemingly bending around it as he stared into the abyss, and the abyss stared back. There was no need to speak to understand that this was it's end. There is no reality where it could resist, and so he whispered the only thing he could
​
"How..? " a single word uttered in complete helplessness at the happenings of an assault turned into utter annihilation. Orbs of Plasma from the void all burned him with their stare, beings that were not meant to be seen by the earth locked creature.
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a single voice, spoken in a chorus answered
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**TIME IS SIGHT**
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**GRAVITY IS DESIRE**
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**POTENTIAL UNLEASHED**
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***AN OFFERING WAS MADE, A TRADE CONCLUDED***
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**A SOUL FOR A SOUL**
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**AS ONE WAS ALL, AND ALL IS ONE**
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**WHAT WAS SHALL BE**
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**AND NOW THE PAYMENT**
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**WILL PAY THE PRICE**
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This hurts like Hell
​
I groan, my entire body aching as if I trained nonstop for seven days straight, opening my sore eyes slowly
​
This is Calderas domain... ugh, my head is killing me. Did she pull one of her tricks again and knocked me out so badly that I don't even know what I was doing?
​
I squint my eyes, the glaring sunlight doing wonders by making me feel even worse than before, as I shield my eyes with my hands, providing some much needed relief
​
"So much for hospitality" another groan, as the thought of Deepholm attacking shoots through me like lightning. The instant jump just makes me sit again as nausea overtakes me, the fast movement not serving well to my intentions of stopping this incessant headache. Looking around, I find the grass swaying in the wind, The tree still standing tall and the pond in the background. there were some denizens here and there, though all seemed to be asleep as me before. Affirming that there does not seem to be an immediate threat at least I focus inwards, letting my stagnant ki slowly come into proper motion, undoing the headache like untying a knot. Feeling somewhat better at least, I stand up, slower this time, and walk around. Though the relative silence is unusual, there seems to be no threat in sight. Deepholm's thralls are not to be seen, and any adventurers that could have gotten hurt must have departed already, as was planned.
​
suddenly a gust of wind came from below and I felt like throwing up again. Barely holding it in I look down, and stare at the small crack in the ground revealing a cave that looks like burning charcoal if it's fire was a dim purple. from it, I could feel nothing. My senses are still messed up and I cannot afford to find out what it is, so I do the next best action and start running towards Caldera's Core
​
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**CALDERA POV**
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I lie in a sea of nothingness, swimming through the molasse like a log on a slow river. Lack of duties, a space where there is no touch and I relax in a space of my mind's making...there is no better feeling one can get. I drift, slowly and without direction, my eyes closed in the infinite comforting darkness, faint smile on my face. Yet it was not meant to be. I frown, as I make out some sound. Nooooo...I don't want to wake up. Can't I just sleep five more minutes? Groaning, I turn around, the comfort slowly slipping away and making way for light. I don't think I can ignore the alarm for that long... Ugh, I guess I'll have to do the shitty daily routine then as I always do. As the light embraces me I open my eyes, just to realize that I have none. Ah, right. That happened.
​
focussing on the noise, I find myself at my core, a red woman yelling something something. Huh? what does she want? I focus on the noise made, slowly tuning my own hearing until I can hear the words
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"...DERA! oh thank the shield you are awake!"
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Huh? what's that? is it not missing a 'finally' before telling me how I was trying to cross the border with her and that bandit over here? wait, why does it sound like it's so important that I am awake?
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sharpening my attention I look at the surroundings, realizing that the aforementioned red woman was Lydia, standing in my sanctum without anybody else to guard her, no frogs, no Jackie - and the network of information spread by Alexa was nowhere to be found
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Panic mode settling in I rapidly skim around my domain, finding no invasion, no delvers, not a single thing happening. I quickly calmed down, partially, as the brain fog I woke up with still has not left me, and since this amount of quiet was far too unusual. Refocussing back to Lydia, she notices my attention immediately and asks "Do you know what is going on? I just woke up in the middle of the field, and there is no one to be found"
​
Trying to answer her I am once again reminded of the lack of voices, so I simply divert my attention to finding my scions, starting with Jackie. I realize mid search that maybe Giorno or Alexa are better choices but I can just search for them later, for now I'll just focus on the task at hand
​
Finding Jackie in the small space that is my former sanctum, I notice how her horns were shed, lying by the sides as she muttered in her sleep. Now how about you wake up? Of all my scions I expected you to be the least lazy one. In return she simply turned around and muttered something else, the intention this time being felt through the bond and translating roughly into "I do not want to be horny anymore, I just want to be happy". Oh haha, very punny. Well if that won't work, let's try... Hey Jackie, Lydia stole your strawberry chocolate cake and is eating all of it!
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Immediately her form changed from 5 more minutes to ready to fight the world as she jumped up and immediately hit her head on the root above, slumping into a crouch as she held her head from the ache as I laughed my ass off, getting an upset glare from her. Her faked anger was short lived however as she touched her head repeatedly to find the horns she's used to missing, just to see them lying on the floor. Looking around frantically, wondering if this is some prank or if she is sick, I focused her and myself away from the distraction on Lydia still waiting anxiously at the core, telling Jackie to sprint over to her while I look for the other scions after a flash of sharing information on the current situation.
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Before I was able to find any others however I felt a shudder run up my spine, as my clarity is regained yet the feeling of wrongness only intensifies - and now can actually be pointed somewhere. Right below me, where my border meets - Deepholm! switching over there immediately I find the source of that uneasiness, though it's not Deepholm, and I am unable to decide if what I see is more or less threatening
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Right at my border the uneasiness identifies itself as emptiness that rubs against my border, a feeling similar to driving a car with maybe a centimetre of space between it and an obstacle to the left or right, except I also cannot see; not truly. Because what I find is a shrouded space, purple swirling vortexes and darkness, A place where mana may go in, but nothing ever comes out. Whatever it is, it seems to be the only thing there, so from what I can tell...
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Deepholm is no more. And I do not know what to do with that.

In one day it will be the 3rd anniversary of the death of my wife. I lost my wife to Ewing's Sarcoma in 2020.
The time immediately after when she passed was hell, but it was totally manageable, in part, I have discovered because I was locked into survival mode. I had been in survival mode for years. I had been entirely neglecting myself, totally focused on keeping her alive and keeping the kids going. Everything I did was focused on her well being, and keeping the house running. I lived for her comfort and happiness, sacrificing my own needs. I was numb to everything, as bad as things were they were manageable because I was keeping the plates spinning. Her passing was both horrific and a relief. Don't get me wrong, I re-live those moments constantly. Watching her last breaths come shuddering out of her body, the way her eyes came open at the end like she was looking for me. She was under palliative sedation, she did not see me, I hope that she did not know I was there, I would prefer she passed with no further pain, her goodbyes were said. Mostly they were, I never got the goodbye I needed. But I got four extra years and a lot of memories, both good and bad.
After she passed I was cold, iced up. Nothing was getting through to me. I was incapable of feeling much of anything. I grieved, but I never really felt it. I had a couple of relationships, none of which really amounted to anything, just spending time. I moved my kids back to their home town, bought a new house and started to get comfortable with the fact that I would be this way forever.
About a year ago I met my SO. When she kissed me the first time it was like my soul melted. It was the most connected I have ever been. Entirely life changing. In Novemeber she moved in, in March we moved to a bigger city and have started our new life together. We are engaged. I love her the way only a widow can, I know I will lose her eventually, or she will lose me, I know it only ends in pain, but I am doing it again.
What is strange is that this anniversary is hitting harder then the last two. I am actually more broken up then when she passed. My therapist says that it is because I am no longer in survival mode. My Psyche has decided that I have the bandwith to proccess the loss and the feelings now. I am simultaniously as happy as I have ever been and greiving harder then I ever have. It comes in waves, it started as a bad feeling over the May long weekend like something was about to happen. When we got back from our camping trip the memories came.
That Tuesday was the day that we called the Dr. because she was becoming very bloated with fluid. On their reccomendation we called the paramedics and they took her to the Hospital. Two days later she was in the Hospice ward, on Sunday the 31 she triggered MAID, the nurses came to see her that morning to verify that she was capable of making the decision for her self. That afternoon we snuck the boys in all 3 of them seperately to say goodbye. I took them home afterwards to be with them. That evening when I got back to the hospital she was so delrious I don't think that she knew I was in the room. The doctor who would also have to approve her for MAID was unable to because she was no longer capable of making a decision. I wish I could have made that decision for her, to give her what she wanted. I never got my good bye. I know she loved me. That evening the Hospice Dr asked if I would like to pallitively sedate her. She was in so much pain I agreed. I sat with her and held her hand for 3 days. Telling her I loved her and watching shitty television. Why did I feel the need to fill the time? If I could go back I would have just talked to her the whole time. But I ran out of stuff to say. I remember just telling her about what I was watching on tv. On the 3rd, her breathing changed, she started taking really deep breaths. Eventually she exhaled one last shuttering breath, her eyes came open a little and she stopped breathing. I sat there for an hour talking to her, telling her it was alright, I would take care of the boys. I love you, you can go, we are ok. And then I packed up her stuff and left.
I go over this again and again, what I should have done differently, how could I have done this better. It has changed me entirely. There is not a day that goes by that I do not tell my partner that I am greatful for her and that I love her. My wife will always be with me, her memories. I will always be the person that she helped to create. The boys will always be her babies. She has not been replaced.
I am always struggling with this feeling that I am in it alone, that I will be alone. Logically I know it is not true. It just seems like anytime things are truely hard I am alone. I don't know what that says about me. My therapist thinks that it is because I am human and I just need someone to lean on and to reach out to. Life was simpler when I was in survival mode, nothing could touch me. Sleep, eat, work, repeat. That was not living though, it sucks that you have to hurt more to feel better. The residual loss of self from focusing on keeping someone else alive and healthy for so long. I did stuff because I had to. But it left me this empty husk of who I was, and now I have to try and fill it with things I need, likes, interests and desires. For so long I was totally focused on her, my default is to do the same with my partner, but its unsustainable. So I get to relearn to be me again, and its so hard. How do you not do everything that needs to be done around the house? How do you not get angry at yourself for letting something slip, for causing more work for yourself later? How do you live with the fact that things happen, and the last time you said good bye to your love could be the last time? I am learning. And I am also learning to lean on others, to ask for help and accept it.
Am I better off then I was last year at this time? I hurt more, I am happier, I am starting to live again. If you are out there somewhere love, if you can read this, or see us. Know that we love you still, we miss you, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. But we have this, we are going to survive, and live and thrive!

I know this is nocontract which is mostly about prepaid, but those of you who know how to play the game know how valuable Xfinity Mobile was and still is, but how they are starting to get away from what made them a great value.
I am completely ignoring their unlimited plans. I don’t care about them, never have.
The real value is the “By-The-Gig” Plan.
Unlimited Talk & Text w/ 1GB of shared data across all other By-The-Gig lines.
Even after the price hike a while ago from $12 to $15. Still great value.
$15/m for up to to 5 lines.
(FYI I’m still on the old $12 plan with up-to 10 lines.)
I will say that being able to get the base unlimited plan for $30+ taxes with just one by-the-gig line is… okay. Not bad. It’s not great but not terrible.
—-
With all the “free phone” promos throughout the years.
The $50-$200 BYOD New Line Promos.
The Extra Xfinity “Rewards” Promos.
—-
Sadly it’s starting to come to a slow end.
Increased from $12 to $15 even though I’m still grandfathered in at $12.
$10 activation Fee, even for port-ins on existing lines (this hurts more than you might think)
Slightly higher per line fees and taxes.
Seems to be no more good “free phones” without a promo code. I’m not talking about some garbage Motorola or Samsung AWhatever. Sometimes a pixel is “free” but iPhones is where it’s at. They are really pushing trading in now, don’t know how I feel about that, I’ve never traded in a phone with them.
It needs to be paired with an Xfinity internet account. Not the end of the world but can be annoying at times.
—-
Good Things -
Verizon Coverage.
It’s still a great base hub account with unlimited talk&text. With a dual sim phone specifically an iPhone all you need is to pair up another SIM that has data and your good to go. The advent of eSIM free trials have been a great paring with Xfinity Mobile.
A slept on feature missing on so many prepaid services is the enhanced “iCloud Calling on Wi-Fi Connected Devices” feature. It’s available even on the By-The-Gig lines.
I still wait for the BYOD port in promos though. That’s the real value.
If you are the kind of person who gets the cellular models of iPads like I do. They usually have them at retail with the base iPad model usually with a discount on the line fee. 24 month 0% interest for the new base iPad. I’ll take that, even at retail. With an optional by-the-gig sim in there for emergency data.
This mobile account has almost acted as a Apple financing account for so many years.
The promos are still there, just at a lower quality/frequency than before.
Eligible for the ACP if you qualify.
Apple Watch compatible for $10 per line fee.
You can swap SIM cards with other devices even though they don’t like it.
Retail stores so you don’t have to do everything online or on the phone.
I have easily gotten more out of my relationship with Xfinity Mobile than they have out of me.
—-
They seem to be not so concerned with customer acquisition as much anymore and now are actually trying to cut the losses. Are they even profitable now?
I’m still on the ride but I’ve realized that it is indeed slowing down.
Who remembers the $1 LG Charge phones!? Those were awesome. I still have one somewhere.

Jesi had never been in a hotel before certainly not one as fine as the one Mr Ericson took her and Damion too. They had a suite all to themselves it had two bedrooms connected to a living room, and kitchen. The hotel room was larger then the apparent she used to share with her mama all those years ago. Damion shared a room with Mr. Ericson but for the first time in her life Jesi had a room all to herself. She thought it would feel secure, but she still slept with a knife under her pillow. Still the bed was so soft she felt like it was going to swallow her alive every night. Her nights were one thing but the days were another thing entirely, they were a whirlwind activity. First there was the image coach, a person that Mr. Ericson hired to find a way to make sure Damion and Jesi, both looked nicer then street kids but were still comfortable. Then there was the mountain of paper work and explanations of how her life would change once she signed the papers. Mr. Ecrison said that the press had heard there was an heir to the O’Connal empire but they didn’t have her name or face yet. He was hoping that meant they would have a quite arrival when their plane landed in upstate New York.
He realized he was wrong the moment they entered the airport. Mr. Ericson was shocked to see the number of reporters swarming the gate. He cursed under his breath he’d been so careful he’d even gone out of his way to ask O’Connal’s business partner Constance Karington if they could borrow her family’s private jet to fly the girl in under the radar. With a sigh he squared his shoulders and looked at the two young adults behind him. “You both need to stay quite they will snap photos, shout questions, and shove whatever kind of recording devices they have practically down your throats for a sound bite. Do not give them one.” Mr. Ericson commanded as he lead them toward the crowd. Airport security was already attempting to hold the crowd back. The instant the crowd caught sight of Jesi flashes began to blind them all while the questions started flying
“Miss Jahari is it true you never knew your father?”
“Miss Jahari are you going to sell the company?”
“Miss, Jahari how does it feel to be Cinderella?”
Jesi was proud of herself for not pulling her knife on any of the reporters at the airport. She didn’t like people in general and she certainly wasn’t used to crowds surrounding and recording her. Mr Ericson parted the crowd as best he could and then shoved both Jesi and Damion into a waiting black sedan, with a driver. A short ride later and the small black sedan pulled up to a set of iron gates in the center of a brick wall that surrounded a mansion as big as a castle. The street in front of the wall however was filled bumper to bumper with cars parked on the curb. As the black sedan they were in pulled up to the gates people mobbed the car banging on the windows shouting questions making it hard for the car to move. Mr. Ericson pushed a button on his phone and the gates swung inward admitting the car the driver moved forward slowly through the throng as the gates swung shut behind them. The car pulled up to the front of the house and an older matronly type woman, came rushing out, as Mr. Ericson opened Jesi’s door.
“Ah, let me look at you!” the woman cried out in a thick Irish accent as she looked at Jesi.
“Jesminda Jahari this is your father’s maid and cook Mrs. Mable Mcguil, she has served your father’s family since before I can remember.”
“Aye, your mother must have been a beauty. Why just look at ya! You did get yer Father’s hair though I see, and his eyes.” Mable said as she reached out to brush a strand of red hair from Jesi’s face
“You knew my father?’ Jesi asked
“Knew him? Why I helped his mother raise ‘im I did. Kindest boy you’d ever want to meet. Ack, but he did he ever have a stubborn streak.” Mable added with a laugh
“Mable, my dear, I know you want to get to know Miss Jahari but that’s better left inside I think as the wolves are snapping pictures at the gate.”
“Ack, of course where are my manners, get in here all of ye.” Mable said as she turned to lead the way into the house. Mr. Ericson handed Damion and Jesi the 2 small carry on bags worth of clothes they’d purchased a few days ago, and motioned the two of them to follow Mable inside while he took his own bag from the trunk.
Jesi stepped wide eyed into the large foyer, the floors were a black and gold marble. The walls were a pristine white, with a stair case on either side curving up to the open second floor but what drew Jesi’s eye was a large painting hanging on the wall between the stair cases. A small family of three with a rather severe looking man with blonde hair standing tall a woman beside him with red hair gave anyone who entered a warm welcoming smile. The boy in the front drew jesi in he was around 7 at the time of the painting. Red hair green eyes but the happy smile he gave didn’t quite make it to his eyes. Jesi walked toward the painting staring at the child.
“That’s your father.” Mabel said walking up beside Jesi. “I remember that day clear as a bell yer grandfather insisted on a family portrait sitting. Ah, but yer father little scamp that he was was having none of it. All he wanted was to go out and play in the yard. The artist finally got yer grandfather to agree to take a photo to make the painting off of. As soon as he was free Conner went out and rolled through the grass in that fancy suit you see ‘im wearing. Aye but yer Grandfather was in a snit for days over the grass stains.”
“This house is massive.” Jesi said looking around the foyer.”
“Ah, but we do agree on that. To the left You’ll find the kitchen, dinning room, ballroom, bathroom, den, and living room. Through the right door you’ll find the home theater, another bathroom, library, office, gym and indoor pool. Upstairs there are nine bedrooms each with their own on suite bathroom, And the master bedroom has exclusive access to it’s own balcony. The third floor contains the greenhouse conservatory and excellent views.”
“So many rooms for only three people.” Jesi marveled turning a slow circle around the foyer.
“Yes, that was yer Grandfather for ye. The man insisted on showing the world how successful he was by getting the best of everything privet jet, fancy yacht, all the cars, the house. Yer father was a much simpler type He would have been happy with a one room apparent in the city. That’s why he never replaced the privet jet after the crash. He didn’t see a need, said if he was gonna fly it could be commercially, with real people.”
Jesi stood staring at the painting tears burned the back of her throat, as waves of emotion beat at her. Her father sounded like such a good man she wished she could have known him, but right on the heels of that she was so angry, her father lived in such excess while she and her mother had scraped by on nothing. Yet according to Ericson her father had never known that she existed her grandfather had lied to her father to her mother. Jesi choked back the tears and clung to the only emotion that had kept her alive for so long. Anger. “I hate them.” she ground between clenched teeth.
Mabel’s face fell she seemed to be hoping for a more joyful reaction from Jesi, but to her credit she didn’t try to talk the girl out of her pain either. Damion walked over and placed an arm around Jesi’s shoulders. “Mrs. Mcguil, is there a room we can go to for rest and a little privacy?” Damion asked
As soon as the door to the large guest bedroom drifted shut behind them Jesminda let her real feelings be known. She broke into deep sobs and fell into Damion’s arms.
“I don’t- I can’t- How could he- How could they-” Jesi started so many sentences but the jumble of emotion stampeding through her.
“Easy Jes, take a breath.” Damion tried as he held her.
“Why am I morning a man I never met? A man who abandoned me?” Jesi started
“Because he didn’t abandon you not on purpose Jes.”
“I want to hate him. I need to hate him, Why can’t I hate him?” Jesi sobbed
“Your right Jes it’s not fair. None of this is fair. It’s a lot to take in, and neither of us have taken the time to really process this.”
“In the hotel he didn’t seem real, but now… He was my father, and I never knew his name.”
“I know, Jes, it’s not fair.”
“He was stolen from me!”
“Yes he was.”
“This whole life was stolen from me!” Jesi hiccuped
Damion just held her and let her cry. There was so much for them both to process. Jesi was now one of the richest women in the nation, and she had insisted that Damion share her home as the brother he’d been to her since the day they’d met.
Jesi spent the rest of the day in the guest room that was now her bedroom with Damion bouncing between sorrow and anger like a rubber ball. Eventually she cried herself to sleep. Damion had just eased her into the plush bed, when a soft knock sounded on the door.
“Hey, uumm.” Damion stammered he wished he could remember the maid’s name.
“Mabel deary. How is she?” Mabel asked as she tried to look past Daion towards Jesi.
“She’s sleeping.” Damion said protectivily blocking to door.
“I mean her no harm.” Mabel said gently
Damion winced and tried to force himself to relax “Sorry, I know you don’t it’s just…” He trailed off at a loss “I’ve protectd her since she was five. Its just really hard to let that go.”
“Ye love her then?” Mable asked
“Of course.” Damion stopped and then a thought occurred to him “Oh! Oh you mean! No, no we’re not like that. She’s basically the sister I -” he stopped.
“Yer sister?”
“The crash that took my parents. It also killed my five year old sister Amy. Three days later I met Jesi, she looks nothing like Amy, but she was the same age and well I guess I wanted to protect her the way I couldn’t protect my family.”
“Ack, ye poor dear.” Mabel said with tears pooling in her eyes. “She’s safe here though, not a sole can get past the walls without setting off the alarms.”
Damion stiffened “Jesi, doesn’t like loud noises. Not since her mother was shot.”
“She was there?” Mable asked
“I thought Mr. Ericson would have told you?” Damion asked in confusion
“No, he told me who she was and that her mother had been killed but nothing else.”
“Yeah, she was there, her mom had to take her to work that night and, she says all she remembers is her mom stuffing her in a cabinet then she heard someone yell for the manager then the shots.”
“My God! Did she see anything?”
“No the officer on the scene worked really hard to make sure she didn’t see anything, But she’s been really jumpy ever since.”
“Ack, the poor dear. Well it seems there’s nothing more You and I can do for her til she wakes come I’ll show ye to yer room you must be tired as well.”
“I-I can’t leave her I’ll just stay here with her.”
“She’s safe here. Your safe here. You need rest too.”
“And I’ll get it right here beside her.”
“Ye’ve taken care of her for thirteen years, Ye’ve earned a rest and so has she.”
“We rest better together.”
“I’m sure ye do, and you’ll be ale to hear her through the wall if there’s trouble.” Mable encouraged
“I-”
“Yer both safe. She’ll be fine.”
Damion reluctantly followed Mable from the room. Mable made a show of taking a key from her pocket and locking the door to the room she explained that she was the only one with a key to unlock the bedroom doors but that all door could be locked or unlocked from the inside.
The next morning Mable opened Jesminda’s door with a cart of food behind her. “Good moring Miss Jes-” Mable froze as Jesi lept from the bed a knife brandished in her hand it’s tip nearly rested on Mabel’s neck
“Sorry,” Jesi said as she lowered the knife. “Force of habit.”
“Well, I will say that’s a new way to get the blood runnin in the mornin.” Mabel said with a giggle “Is there a reason ye have a knife on ye?”
“I’ve slept with a knife since I was sixteen.”
“And ye haven’t cut yerself?” Mable tried to joke
“No, Sargent Mullens trained me and Damion how to defend ourselves.”
“Sargent Mullens?” Mable asked
“He was staying at the first homeless shelter we crashed at after leaving the home. I was young inexperienced in street life and so excited to have my first shower in weeks I wasn’t careful enough. After I walked into the ladies room a man grabbed me from behind. He clamped his hand over my mouth and put a knife to my throat. I tried to scream to struggle while he cut my clothes off. Sargent Mullens heard the struggle and rushed in. He pulled the man off before anything happened and called for help. The man tried to cut Mullens but he dodged the blade, disarmed him, and held him until the folks that ran the shelter arrived. He told them to bring the guy to the police for sexual assault. After he helped me and Damion disappear when the police showed up and then taught us how to survive on the streets we stayed with him for about 4 months, until he disappeared.”
“That must have been hard on ye both.” Mable said
“It’s life on the street.”
“Jesi!” Damion called out as he rushed into the room.
“Ah and that saves me the trouble of bringing breakfast to ye as well.” Mable said as she motioned to the cart behind her. “I didn’t know yer preferences, so I, well, I made yer Father’s favorites. Bacon, sausage, pancakes, as well as some fruit a selection of juices and, aspirin.”
“How did you know I have a headache?” Jesi asked
“I’ve spent more then a night or two crying meself te sleep. I know the headache ye wake with in the morin all to well. OOP!” Mable said as she pulled her phone from her pocket. “And it seems that Ericson has arrived for the day with company not far behind. Best ye eat up and prepare seems as though yer in for yoru first dose of Constance.”
“Heellloo, Constance Karington,” The tall blonde woman in her early twenties stepped up to Jesi and offered her hand “Your sister.”
“I have a sister?” Jesi asked
“No, you do not.” Ericson answered.
“Oh not a biological sister but Conner was like a second father to me.” Constance said
“That makes one of us.” Jesi griped under her breath
“Oh look at you aren’t you a vision well besides that scare on your neck but don’t you worry my step-mom knows a great plastic surgeon we’ll have that gone in days.”
Jesi rested a self conscious hand over the knife scare on her collar bone.
“I wish you had consulted with me Ms. Karington, Miss Jahri’s schedule is full today.”
“Oh, so I cleared my entire morning of running my very successful company to hang out with my new sister for nothing” Constance protested actually pouting at Ericson.
“I believe you’ll find the company belongs to both of you Ms. Karington, and as I Said if you’d checked with me I could have told you that Miss Jahari’s scheduled is full this morning.”
“Oh come on I’m sure you don’t need a stuffy old man telling you what to do Jesi. You don’t mind if I call you Jesi do you?” Constance’s words dripped with sugar.
“Actually I do mind.” Jesi wasn’t buying Constance’s act for a second. “And Ercison has a full day planned.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do with an open morning Ericson?” Constance tried again
“Since your so keen to have family time I suggest you go connect with your brother.” Ericson suggested
“I suppose I could find Skyler but I look forward to dinner tonight Jesminda.” Constance commanded
“I will contact your office and arrange for a dinner in a few weeks then.” Ericson offered.
“I look forward to it.” Constance said with a smile as she turned to go.
“Oh Ms. Karington I would like to know how our confidential flight itinerary was leaked to the press.” Ericson asked
“Oh right, I have talked to my pilot about that rest assured he’ll be disciplined for his loose lips. Ta.” Constance tossed over her shoulder as she left.
“Who was that?” Damion asked when the door closed behind Constance
“Constance Karington, she is the co CEO of O’Connal and Karington Enterprises.”
“Isn’t she kinda young to be a CEO?” Jesi asked
“She was a child prodigy she graduated high school early and earned her MBA by the time she was 20. Two years ago she convinced her father to entire and hand over his half of the company to her.”
Constance slammed the front door to her family’s home. And let out a frustrated scream.
“I take it your plan to get Cinderella to sign the papers was a bust?” her brother Skyler appeared at the top of the stairs.
“I thought you’d still be sleeping.” Constance griped
“I was until you slammed the door quite rude if I’m honest sister dear.” Skyler, said with a lazy drawl
“Well, tell whoever your current girlfriend is I’m sorry to have disturbed her.” Constance replied with a forced smile
“You can drop the loving sister routine Constance I’m alone today.”
“For once.” Constance laughed sarcastically. “What do Nora find you flirting with a waitress?”
“Her name was Ashley and no, she asked for commitment, and you know I don’t do commitment.”
“Hm. Yet another doe eyed debutante that thought she could marry New York’s most eligible bachelor?”
“Yes you’d think they’d know better by now don’t they all talk?”
“Brother this may surprise you but the world does not actually revolve around you.”
“And it doesn’t serve you sister dear. A fact it seems ‘Cinderella’ reminded you of today.” Skyer gloated
“That company is mine! Conner promised it to me! Then that worthless brainless rat shows up and takes everything from me!” Constance shouted.
“I’m not sure Cinderella showed up isn’t more like Connor hunted her down?”
“Cinderella?” Constance said as a calculating smile slid on to her face
“That look never bodes well.” Skyler observed
“Well, every Cinderella needs her Prince Charming doesn’t she.”
“As I understand it she came with hers did she not?”
“The street rat no he’s more a brother to her as I understand it, but you Brother dear are currently between lovers at the moment.”
“Ha! Don’t even try it. Your little Cinderella is no where near my type.”
“Oh please, she’s beautiful, rich, and a woman that’s exactly your type.”
“Hardly, once a street rat always a street rat!” Skyler objected
“I don’t care, you will romance her get her so infatuated with you that when you tell her it’s in her best interst to sign over the company she’ll comply.”
“And if it can’t.”
“Then you’ll keep it in your pants until you marry her! I will not let some brat swoop in and steal everything I worked my entire life to get!”
“You can’t make me do any of this.”
“Can’t I? Last I checked Brother dear I control your trust fund.”

Hello Folks, below you will find all the new movies and shows for Amazon Prime Video for June 2023. Now I have to admit for the other half of this list I used an AI program as I was running behind, so some of the links may not work. But I will modify this document through the weekend and update the links. Thanks and Enjoy.
Available June 1
​

1. Shadow of Suspicion Shaun of the Dead All The Queen’s Men, season 1 She Hate Me School Daze Sea Fury Shoot First Silver Linings Playbook Barnaby Jones, seasons 1-8 Sliver Bull Soul Food South Central Stargate Charmed Repo Men Riders To The Stars River’s Edge Robocop Run For The Sun Saved! Self/less Stomp The Yard: Homecoming Yours, Mine & Ours Switchback You Have to Run Fast Ten Days to Tulara The Apartment You Got Served Evening Shade, seasons 1-4 The Call The Color Purple (1986) Everybody Hates Chris, seasons 1-4 The Danish Girl Happy Days, seasons 1-3 Wuthering Heights (1970) The Day the Earth Stood Still The Four Feathers World’s Greatest Dad The French Lieutenant’s Woman Laverne & Shirley, seasons 1-4 Without a Paddle: Nature’s Calling The Gift Mannix, seasons 1-7 What to Expect When You’re Expecting The Gospel According to Andre Walking Target The Hot Chick Walking Tall: The Payback MasterChef Mexico All Stars The Longshots Vice The Love Letter Mork & Mindy, seasons 1-2 Venus and Serena The Malta Story The Missing Lady Petticoat Junction, seasons 1-5 Van Wilder 2: The Rise Of Taj The One That Got Away Uncommon Valor The Rabbit Trap UFO The Relic Tyson The Return of the Living Dead Two Can Play That Game Survivor, seasons 17-25 True Lies The Scarf The Brady Bunch, seasons 1-5 The Spanish Gardener The Neighborhood, seasons 1-4 The Time Machine Webster, seasons 1-4 Triple Deception Wings, seasons 1-8 No Escape Transporter 2 Muscle Shoals: Rotten Tomatoes - Muscle Shoals

Transamerica: Rotten Tomatoes - Transamerica
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service: Rotten Tomatoes - On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
One Way Out: Rotten Tomatoes - One Way Out
Open Range: Rotten Tomatoes - Open Range
Over The Top: Rotten Tomatoes - Over The Top
Pariah: Rotten Tomatoes - Pariah
Peanuts: Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown: Rotten Tomatoes - Peanuts: Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown
Philadelphia: Rotten Tomatoes - Philadelphia
Notorious: Rotten Tomatoes - Notorious
Purple Rain: Rotten Tomatoes - Purple Rain
Reign of Fire: Rotten Tomatoes - Reign of Fire
Rejoice and Shout: Rotten Tomatoes - Rejoice and Shout
Rent: Rotten Tomatoes - Rent
Lone Wolf McQuade: Rotten Tomatoes - Lone Wolf McQuade
1984: Rotten Tomatoes - 1984
Live and Let Die: Rotten Tomatoes - Live and Let Die
12 Years a Slave: Rotten Tomatoes - 12 Years a Slave
Little Women (1949): Rotten Tomatoes - Little Women (1949)
2 Days in New York: Rotten Tomatoes - 2 Days in New York
League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Rotten Tomatoes - League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Lady Of Vengeance: Rotten Tomatoes - Lady Of Vengeance
2 Days In The Valley: Rotten Tomatoes - 2 Days In The Valley
Kingdom of Heaven: Rotten Tomatoes - Kingdom of Heaven
3:10 To Yuma: Rotten Tomatoes - 3:10 To Yuma
The Kids Are All Right: Rotten Tomatoes - The Kids Are All Right
Jungle Heat: Rotten Tomatoes - Jungle Heat
It’s A Pleasure: Rotten Tomatoes - It’s A Pleasure
Intersection: Rotten Tomatoes - Intersection
A Woman Possessed: Rotten Tomatoes - A Woman Possessed
Above the Rim: Rotten Tomatoes - Above the Rim
In Time: Rotten Tomatoes - In Time
In My Country: Rotten Tomatoes - In My Country
Arrival: Rotten Tomatoes - Arrival
I’m Gonna Git You Sucka: Rotten Tomatoes - I’m Gonna Git You Sucka
I Am Bolt: Rotten Tomatoes - I Am Bolt
Assault on Precinct 13: Rotten Tomatoes - Assault on Precinct 13
I Am Ali: Rotten Tomatoes - I Am Ali
Huk!: Rotten Tomatoes - Huk!
How Stella Got Her Groove Back: Rotten Tomatoes - How Stella Got Her Groove Back
Hot Rod Gang: Rotten Tomatoes - Hot Rod Gang
Baby Boy: Rotten Tomatoes - Baby Boy
Bad Teacher: Rotten Tomatoes - Bad Teacher
Bananas: Rotten Tomatoes - Bananas
Hot Fuzz: Rotten Tomatoes - Hot Fuzz
Billy Madison: Rotten Tomatoes - Billy Madison
Hot Cars: Rotten Tomatoes - Hot Cars
Black Dynamite: Rotten Tomatoes - Black Dynamite
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: Rotten Tomatoes - Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Blankman: Rotten Tomatoes - Blankman
Higher Learning: Rotten Tomatoes - Higher Learning
Blazing Saddles: Rotten Tomatoes - Blazing Saddles
Henry V: Rotten Tomatoes - Henry V
Boyz N the Hood: Rotten Tomatoes - Boyz N the Hood
He Who Must Die: Rotten Tomatoes - He Who Must Die
Breakin’ All The Rules: Rotten Tomatoes - Breakin’ All The Rules
Happy Gilmore: Rotten Tomatoes - Happy Gilmore
Brokeback Mountain: Rotten Tomatoes - Brokeback Mountain
Happy Anniversary: Rotten Tomatoes - Happy Anniversary
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: Rotten Tomatoes - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Clockstoppers: Rotten Tomatoes - Clockstoppers
Code of Silence: Rotten Tomatoes - Code of Silence
Guess Who: Rotten Tomatoes - Guess Who
Concussion: Rotten Tomatoes - Concussion
Creed: Rotten Tomatoes - Creed
Creed II: Rotten Tomatoes - Creed II
Green Zone: Rotten Tomatoes - Green Zone
Gone in Sixty Seconds: Rotten Tomatoes - Gone in Sixty Seconds
Glory: Rotten Tomatoes - Glory
Ghost Of Dragstrip Hollow: Rotten Tomatoes - Ghost Of Dragstrip Hollow
Cry Freedom: Rotten Tomatoes - Cry Freedom
Daddy Day Camp: Rotten Tomatoes - Daddy Day Camp
Getting Even With Dad: Rotten Tomatoes - Getting Even With Dad
Dangerous Exile: Rotten Tomatoes - Dangerous Exile
Flawless: Rotten Tomatoes - Flawless
Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection: Rotten Tomatoes - Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection
Devil In A Blue Dress: Rotten Tomatoes - Devil In A Blue Dress
Exodus: Rotten Tomatoes - Exodus
Dog Day Afternoon: Rotten Tomatoes - Dog Day Afternoon
Eraser: Rotten Tomatoes - Eraser
Look Who’s Talking: Rotten Tomatoes - Look Who’s Talking
Lost Lagoon: Rotten Tomatoes - Lost Lagoon
Man In The Net: Rotten Tomatoes - Man In The Net
The Wild Wild West, seasons 1-4: Rotten Tomatoes - The Wild Wild West
Machete: Rotten Tomatoes - Machete
The War of the Worlds (1953): Rotten Tomatoes - The War of the Worlds (1953)
MacArthur: Rotten Tomatoes - MacArthur
The Transporter: Rotten Tomatoes - The Transporter
Love, Rosie: Rotten Tomatoes - Love, Rosie
Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am: Rotten Tomatoes - Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am
Money Train: Rotten Tomatoes - Money Train
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar: Rotten Tomatoes - To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
Top Of The World: Rotten Tomatoes - Top Of The World
Too Many Crooks: Rotten Tomatoes - Too Many Crooks
Mo’ Money: Rotten Tomatoes - Mo’ Money
To Sir, With Love: Rotten Tomatoes - To Sir, With Love
Mississippi Burning: Rotten Tomatoes - Mississippi Burning
Timbuktu: Rotten Tomatoes - Timbuktu
Mirai: Rotten Tomatoes - Mirai
Three Can Play That Game: Rotten Tomatoes - Three Can Play That Game
Miles Ahead: Rotten Tomatoes - Miles Ahead
Things We Lost in the Fire: Rotten Tomatoes - Things We Lost in the Fire
The Young Doctors: Rotten Tomatoes - The Young Doctors
Megamind: Rotten Tomatoes - Megamind
The World’s End: Rotten Tomatoes - The World’s End
Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets: Rotten Tomatoes - Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets
With Love, season 2: Rotten Tomatoes - With Love
Deadloch: Rotten Tomatoes - Deadloch
An Unforgettable Year – Summer: Rotten Tomatoes - An Unforgettable Year – Summer
Medellin: Rotten Tomatoes - Medellin
Crazy Rich Asians: Rotten Tomatoes - Crazy Rich Asians
Sully: Rotten Tomatoes - Sully
TÁR: Rotten Tomatoes - TÁR
My Fault: Rotten Tomatoes - My Fault
An Unforgettable Year – Autumn: Rotten Tomatoes - An Unforgettable Year – Autumn
The Lake, season 2: Rotten Tomatoes - The Lake
Interstellar: Rotten Tomatoes - Interstellar
An Unforgettable Year – Winter: Rotten Tomatoes - An Unforgettable Year – Winter
There’s Something Wrong With The Children: Rotten Tomatoes - There’s Something Wrong With The Children
Ender’s Game: Rotten Tomatoes - Ender’s Game
Spoiler Alert: Rotten Tomatoes - Spoiler Alert
The Grand Tour: Eurocrash, season 5: Rotten Tomatoes - The Grand Tour: Eurocrash
Selma: Rotten Tomatoes - Selma
Armageddon Time: Rotten Tomatoes - Armageddon Time
American Sniper: Rotten Tomatoes - American Sniper
That Peter Crouch Film: Rotten Tomatoes - That Peter Crouch Film
An Unforgettable Year – Spring: Rotten Tomatoes - An Unforgettable Year – Spring
I’m a Virgo: Rotten Tomatoes - I’m a Virgo
Project Almanac: Rotten Tomatoes - Project Almanac
The Gambler: Rotten Tomatoes - The Gambler
M3GAN: Rotten Tomatoes - M3GAN
Hot Tub Time Machine 2: Rotten Tomatoes - Hot Tub Time Machine 2
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water: Rotten Tomatoes - The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water
What If: Rotten Tomatoes - What If
Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan, season 4: Rotten Tomatoes - Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan

Hi everyone,
I know this isn't a place to look for diagnosis, but I was wondering what was wrong with my ex-boyfriend. So I will explain shortly what happened. Five years ago I met my boyfriend through a friend. Initially I wasn't interested but he kept texting me, so after lets say two month I agreed to start hang out with him. We really had a great connection, but my ex started to catch really fast feelings for my (let's say after 2 weeks of hanging out). After hanging out more we decided to get into a relationship. The first 2 weeks were great and he was really charming and litterly behaving as a dream boyfriend. After 2 weekd his behaviour changed. This change of behaviour started from small things such as starting to flirt with people and installing dating apps. When I said something about it he always used the excuse that he installed it to delete his profile or because he wanted to keep contact with a good friend. After a while he really became agressive when I asked stuff about it and started to say I'm crazy. The following months everything started to worsen. He got anger outrages and started to destroy things after which he said it was my fault that he destroyed stuff since I made him angry. He started to push me to stay everyday at his place and if I wanted to go sleep at my place he said thats something I need to discuss with. He started to emberass me in front of other. Take my phone or laptop and claim it as his. And so on. Everytime I tried to protect myself he used anger and manipulation to make me think I'm at fault. He had his own small company and pushed me to help him during the summer. The kind of help I had to give him was working shifts from 10 in the morning to 3 in the night in one shift. After that he pushed me to go for drinks with him and I didnt want to again he started to manipulate. This went on for 8 months untill he broke up because he said that we didnt match. My reaction to it was that I'm okay. He started the days after to text me that he misses me and still loves me and wants to keep contact but I didnt want to. After 3 weeks I went back to his place to get my laptop back. He started to cry and said he cant live without me. I was pretty distant and he became angry at me that me being distant means that I'm breaking up (even though that he already broke up). As usual he started to turn everything on me. After 10 months of him trying to contact me and begging me for contact, he came to my place, to take me to a party "as we did in the past". It was really nice and from that moment he started to use his manipulation again to get power over me. He succeeded in this and we went back together (but in a very vague way, one time he said im the love of his life and stuff like that, the other that im noone to him. In part 2 of our relationship the things started to come up I really wondering about whether its psychopatic behaviour or not: trying to us a few times when he was driving a scooter, throwing knives at me when angry (but I wasnt allowed to be angry at him since the knife never touched me), never having sex with me besides the moments he wanted to (so he started to fuck me at moments without ly consent my holding my arms on my back so i couldnt move), throwing irritating substances in my eyes, beating, gambling all my money, he installed an app so he could follow everyplace i went, bringing me verbally and mentally down, threaten to leave me forever,... . After I found a sex video of him having group sex I broke up. This was three years I had to endure it. I got diagnosed with PTSD and at the moment doing therapy. Its still has an impact on me but I start to learn from this bad experience. I'm wondering what was wrong with him. Is this behaviour typical for personality disorder of even psychopathy?

so I went through the annoyance of installing the POE doorbell to my NVR instead of doing a Wifi Doorbell, or using a Ring due to (well founded) privacy concerns.
I have 4 other POE cameras and a wifi camera connected to the NVR as well, they all work as I would expect really.
I am able to see the camera in the NVR, talk through it, hear people talking, etc. But when it comes to working as I would expect this kind of device to work it's kind of useless?
I'm not getting alerts on the app consistently- when I do get an alert I still have to scrub through the video just as I do with the cameras, it doesn't seem to flag when someone actually rang my doorbell. I have used Ring before and it'll alert people pretty quickly and you can answer the door remotely- I'm not able to do that with the Reolink camera + app. Either the alert takes too long to get to me in which case I might as well just answer the door anyway or the person will have left assuming I'm not home, or I just do not get the alert.
Then when I get an alert, whether it is ringing the doorbell or simply someone walking up close to it, the best it'll do is throw me into an hour long video chunk where I have to scrub to find it?
Am I missing some settings, Is mine not functioning correctly or is this how this thing works? Seems like it's missing a lot of functionality for it to be a doorbell competing with Ring / Nest / Arlo.
I have my NVR recording 24/7. No SD Card in the Doorbell (would this help?)
I have my schedule for the Push notifications on the doorbell set to every option and every hour of every day.

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A very lovely but random person walked into my place of employment today to buy Abreva and lysine and I really wanted to say "Don't ever let anybody tell you you're less than fabulous" as they left.
But I'm pretty sure I'd get fired if I said anything other than "Thank you, come again!".
I finally understand what craigslist "missed connections" was for.

Title is pretty self explanatory. I have been with my ex bf for 2 years. When we first met it was like we were never strangers. We both connected in a way we had never connected with anyone else. We both fell hard and fast. I made him wait 6 months to ask me out because i had just gotten out of a two and half year relationship a month before i met him. I was scared to be with him at first, but i couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with him.
Our relationship was close to perfect. We never fought. If we did have a disagreement we had a healthy discussion about it. It was the first healthy relationship i ever had. We had pretty similar childhoods, we never had anyone who was able to understand that. I’m usually the kind of person that can only hang out with someone for a day or two, but that didn’t apply to him. We loved hanging out with each other. He always wanted to be around me and i always wanted to be around him. I have over 10 handwritten love letters from him. I’ve never been able to envision a future with another man and not feel weird about it. I was ready to commit to him forever.
I’m august 2022, i got back from a weeklong trip and we were insperable. He wanted to be around me constantly, and i wanted to be around him. We started a habit of hanging out at least 5 days a week. It never seemed like a problem. We never got annoyed with each other and we loved just being in each others presence even if we were interacting with each other.
In January, i noticed he started to withdrawal a bit. He seemed careless, stressed with everything he had going on, he didn’t want to have sex ever, and he stopped giving me affection and saying nice things to me. During this time i also let him put $900 worth of court fees on my credit card so he wouldn’t have to pay it outright. He continues to withdrawal throughout February and i was losing my patience with him.
In March he breaks up with me for the first time. He says it’s his mental health and he’s too stressed and he can’t give me what i want and he’s not the same person i met in 2021. It sounded like self loathing and hatred so i fought for him. We got back together a day later. 2 weeks later i randomly go through his phone and see a bunch of girls on his Snapchat. I flipped out and broke up with him again. I messaged all the girls except 1, they all said he just hit them up once and never again after that. We were broken up for 3 weeks at this point. Around the end of March he started texting me again saying he missed me and wanted to make things work. He said he texted those girls for validation cause he was feeling insecure. I believed him and forgave him.
We got back together for the entire month of April. I thought things were going good in the first two weeks. Then on the 3rd week he gets a phone call from another girl at 1am. He swore they just talked when we were broken up and he told her to not contact him again and blocked me in front of me. It made me nervous but i didn’t think it was that serious. I i only saw him twice after that cause he started pulling away again. He said he felt like i was never going to trust him and things are better this way. We broke it off again at the beginning of may
I blocked him on everything but about two weeks ago i broke and i texted him. He called me and told me all the right things and that he’s sorry and he misses me and we got back together again. Things were going really well. I told him my boundaries with other girls and he agreed. Yesterday morning i randomly decided to go through his phone. I just wanted to confirm he was acting right. Everything looked good but i found a girls contact open in the contact app. We had a discussion about this and he said he needs space and time to think. I left and decided to text the girl on my phone.
Long story short, this girl tells me they were talking all the way from November until the end of March. When i was passed out drunk in his bed ok New Year’s Eve, he had a 2 hour phone call with her. She showed me the text messages on Valentine’s Day and he was telling her she looked so sexy at work and he couldn’t keep his hands off her. He was sexting her the night i had a car follow me into my neighborhood and i was scared to be home alone. He didn’t invite me over and he didn’t care that i was scared. The day after he sexted her was the first time we broke up. A week later he bluffed on our plans to hangout twice in two days because he was texting her instead. He had sex with her two days after we broke up for the second time. He was texting her saying he can’t control himself around her.
I’m so lost and confused. I feel unlovable. I feel like i chased him away. I’m so angry. I kept fighting for our relationship the past 3 months because i thought he was just having mental health issues. I wanted to show him he had someone there for him who would love him no matter what. I helped him out so much. I thought he was so different and not like other guys. I would have never suspected him of cheating on me on this way. I don’t understand why he couldn’t tell me from the first breakup there was someone else. I wouldn’t have fought for him like that if i knew the truth. I’ve begged him for the truth so many times and he just keeps lying to me. I knew deep down inside from his behavior this had something to do with other girls, but he kept lying and telling me it’s his mental health. I feel so fucking stupid. I feel like none of our relationship was real. I don’t know what the fuck just happened. I’m so angry that all the times i begged him for affection, he couldn’t give it to me because he was giving it to her. I hate myself so much. I don’t know how to move on from this? Does anyone have any advice for me? I feel so broken right now.

Just got the newsletter in my email, Blaseball is shutting down permanently. It's been fun. Your kicks are our kicks.
"It is with a heavy heart we announce that we are not going to run the Coronation Era as planned and are making the decision to end Blaseball today. It is difficult to put into words what this means for our team and the future, but we will try.
The short of it is that Blaseball isn’t sustainable to run. Since Blaseball’s inception, we’ve been fighting against the amount of work it takes to keep Blaseball true to itself while financially supporting the team and keeping our staff healthy. We’ve tried countless solutions to make it work, and we’ve come to the conclusion that this fight isn’t one we can win in the long run. The cost, literally and metaphorically, is too high. So we are making the decision to end it here instead of changing Blaseball into something unrecognizable. Part of this loss is many of our incredible team members. Our team size has to change to give us enough runway to even begin to make something new. We are losing so many good people, and we will miss them terribly. They changed the game, literally.
Blaseball was an uncanny thing. It was born in the early stages of Covid, whispered into our ears by unseen forces, and it is inextricable from the early days of the pandemic. It was made to run constantly, for everyone, for free. It was a little bit game, little bit social experiment, little bit improv. It was made to mirror the world around us– horror and all. If the horrors persist, so must we.
Blaseball was about finding connection when the world feels out of your control. It was meant to bring people together and connect us across unfathomable distance and despair, and it did. All of you found us, and every person who touched it was a part of this story.
To Fans of Blaseball, who have cheered and cried with us, who watched Suns die and Eras pass, who have defied the Gods and death itself, who have been with us through the end of the world as we knew it and then what came after: thank you. It has been one of the great joys of our lives to make Blaseball for you, and we will grieve its loss like everything else– together.
We are providing as much support as we can to those affected by the layoffs: severance, healthcare extensions, and job search resources with a dedicated staff member for job placement. If we can’t continue to have them on the team, we want them to bring their skills to friends and peers we’ve had the pleasure to know. If you are hiring and in the market for kind, collaborative, groundbreakingly talented team members, please reach out. We will connect you.
Thank you to everyone who has been a part of Blaseball. We are sorry, and we are devastated. As for what comes next, we’re planning that now. We hope that one day in the not too distant future we can bring you something new that brings us all back together. Until then, stay well and do good."

So i used to have a 2017 Hyundai Sonata Sport and traded in that car for a used 2022 Accord Hybrid EX-L with 5k miles on it. Mostly for the better mileage 35mpg vs 48mpg advertised
Here are my initial impressions of the Honda vs a 5 year old Hyundai after a couple months.

1. Honda poor turning radius, can't pull into a lot of places because i have to stop and back up and pull in. Hyundai runs circles around it. Had very little problems in the same parking lots.
2. No hood struts on the Honda? Like really for the amount you pay and the hood still only has a stick to hold it up and it's a very heavy hood as a small person would probably have trouble getting open. The cheap Hyundai had it as standard.
3. No door sills, Again the cheap Hyundai had at least cheap plastic ones so you don't scratch your sill getting in and out with heels or boots.
4. Auto trunk opening as you stand next to it only available on touring model. Mid level Sonata sport has it standard. This is really nice if you have you hands full and you walk up and the trunk pops open.
5. While the Hyundai doesn't have wireless Android Auto the add on you can by works flawless and connects every time. The Honda version is hit or miss a lot of times and when it does connect it can take several minutes if it does connect.
6. Wireless charging the Hyundai doesn't have either but the after market versions do a great job while the Honda version has a hard time keeping up with the charge especially if you're Android Auto or Car play running it seems. The phone gets very hot sometimes and would do good to have some venting/cooling in that compartment. Sometimes i have to plug directly into the USB charging to get it up to a good level.
7. No auto cruise control on the Hyundai model i had. The Honda seems to do weird things like wanting to follow cars off into turn lanes or brake for cars in turn lanes as you're passing them.
8. No auto breaking on the Hyundai model i had. The Honda can break hard and be jerky, seems it needs some more refinement on this and still warns you to brake! haha isn't that what auto braking is supposed to do for you?
9. No lane keep assist on the Hyundai model i had. This is kind of weird also as it will want you to go with the turn lane and you have to fight it to keep with the main traffic lane sometimes. It will tell you to keeps hands on the wheel on long stretches' where you don't need to steer because it's a straight so you have to move the staring wheel to appease it lol. I think this may be the reason this car was used with only 5k miles on it.
10. Engine noise during acceleration on both cars are loud yes because they are 4 cylinders but i thought the Honda would be more quiet with the electric motors but it seems to sound like it straining hard.
11. Both have poor interior lighting and have replaced with LED's vs incandescent bulbs. Why do they even used those anymore?
12. With Hypermiling the Honda i can get 55mpg but avg 52 on my daily combined city/highway driving. The Hyundai Hypermiling the best i could get was 39mpg. Both get around 600 miles on a tank 18gals on the Hyundai vs 12gals on the Honda. While Hyundai makes a a Hybrid Sonata, i've heard stories where you can't start the car if it's left for a few days like at the airport and coming back to a dead car so i chose the Honda because of that.
13. 100k mile drive train warranty standard on the Hyundai, Option to buy up on the Honda. 5yr 60k miles standard bumper to bumper on the Hyundai, 3yr 36k miles on the Honda. One of the reasons i switched from my Civics to a Sonata.

So some things are a bit nit picking i know but it seems some standard equipment have just been short changed on the Honda for the level of vehicle.
I'll be looking to put struts on the hood and maybe there's a hack for the trunk opening?
What's everyone elses impressions/thoughts???

Hi! This is my first post on Reddit of this type, but I’ve had enough and just need to get this off my chest. I’ll try to be as short as possible.
Edit: I am adding this after finishing writing the post, close to the end I became an absolute mess, apologies in advance.
Anyways, to better understand the title and whole situation, I need to go back to the start. At the very beginning of the story I (F19) was 17 years old. We had just returned to attend school after the whole covid fiasco. We had to spend all the time in one classroom including breaks etc. as we were not allowed to go out, unless it’s the end of the classes for the day. I had a friend (F16), we were close, but nothing deep (she’s not that important, just a school assignment), we were sitting in the same row. In front of us was sitting a boy (M16), whose name I barely knew and… that was all I actually knew. Due to covid, we never got to hear him, or talk to him and so on. But, what I noticed is that he didn’t have any interactions with other classmates, he was always on his phone, barely spoke to teachers, you get the picture.
As the universe likes to play, we got assigned to do a project for the year (the three of us), so naturally we were forced to get in contact. At first it was just me making a group chat, and telling him he’s assigned to do a project with us (as he was absent that day). When he returned to school he was again, sitting, mentally isolated from the world. But I began to make small talk with him for a few days. At first, it was because I kinda felt sad for him, but after just one -not small talk- conversation I realized that he was an incredibly intelligent and genuinely interesting person. So, as I was and still am a very curious person, I knew immediately that I wanted to know more about him. I started texting him, talking with him and so on. For months I was the first one to text, to set up conversations, but it didn’t bother me, ‘cause he was showing interest in everything I was saying, so I felt comfortable.
As time went on, I grew more comfortable, but so did he. We were texting 24/7, had discord nights, up until very late (or rather early). Few times when I fell asleep in those calls he would either play me lullabies or just keep doing whatever while still staying in the call in case I woke up. He’s also a gamer, and every free second he had either during the game or in the pauses he’d be texting me. I still didn’t know much about him, despite everything, he still wasn’t big of a talker, but he knew almost everything about me. Also to mention he’s only a few months younger than me.
In order to continue with the story I have to tell you a little bit about myself. I had a very hard childhood, and perhaps even harder teen years. I am on a spectrum of anxiety and depression. I have attachment issues and I have extremely hard time connecting with people, out of fear that I’ll get heartbroken. I also feel 90% of the time as a burden. It’s not something I can really control, it’s just there. I have set walls around me, and I am faking what I’m really feeling most of the time. For years I haven’t really attached to anyone, but my years lasting friends that make me feel safe and comfortable. And also, I am highly uncomfortable around men.
So this boy getting to know me that much was a really big milestone for me. I can’t explain with words what a shock was to finally open up to someone after so long, to be that comfortable and it was a male person. One thing though, we never actually went out. We were hanging in school, and in the summer we were just online.
So, the year has gone by and we were great as never. I got to know him a little more. Still he wasn’t really the type of person to talk about what he did that day, details about his everyday life, I barely knew his problems, but I had a feeling I knew him.
Over the summer I got close to another classmate (F18). So at the beginning of the new school year he’s 18, she’s 18 and I’m soon to be 19. I started connecting those two friendships. I’ll call her Sasha and I’ll call him Jason. Sasha, Jason and I started hanging out in school, on breaks (we were now allowed to go out of the school building for breaks). They were a little uncomfortable with each other as they didn’t know one another well. Sasha was privately amazing with me, talkative, and interesting. She was the kind of girl friend I needed. Jason was also amazing privately, talkative, humorous, just as always. One day as we were playing some question games I learned that I was the person who knew the most stuff about Jason, and I was in his top 5 favorite people. You couldn’t imagine how I felt. Also to note, he knew my love language is words of affirmation and he used that knowledge well.
For my 19th birthday he wrote me a beautiful birthday message, I won’t post it all, but one line was: “You were just existing and it was enough.” I was literally sobbing and shaking in my room after reading that message. On multiple occasions he told Sasha and me that he doesn’t know what would’ve been with him if I never decided to speak with him when I did. He was also saying that I changed him for the better, that he was thankful and so on. It made me so proud I never gave up on him and now had this beautiful friendship. I was literally writing notes in my phone of his most memorable sayings so I never forget them (serious and funny ones).
With time Sasha and Jason started talking more with me present, but still had troubles when going back home (as they live on the same side of town, and I’m on the other one). But, few of my school absences, few of those rides home, they began talking, having topics etc. Sasha began asking me if I liked him, and telling me he definitely did like me, but as I generally have troubles in differentiating platonic from romantic love, I always claimed I loved him platonically. She would sometimes hint to pay attention when we’re with him, but to be honest it made me a little uncomfortable since I really valued our friendship and didn’t want to potentially ruin it, as I am a terrible lover, but great friend.
Now, I know we all choose what stuff we will tell to whom. We don’t tell everything to the same person. But I noticed that some banal stuff was hidden from me, hence the convo in math class:
Sasha (to Jason): When did you get back from the cinema?
Jason (in shock): Noo why did you tell her?
Me (I was about to say something but just shut up instantly after that)
Sasha: What do you mean?
Jason: I told you not to tell herrr
Sasha (laughing): Why would you say that out loud, it could’ve looked like you forgot to mention it
When I tell you, I cannot even describe the emotions that went through my body. I was on the verge of tears. And from that day it just went downhill. We had this healthy bickering/roasting friendship where we mutually all called out each other, but in the upcoming days it seemed as if ALL the jokes were targeted towards me. I cannot translate them word for word, but they all were in conclusion that I’m worthless, that I should go home, etc. And worst of it all was when he made a joke about something about me that he shouldn’t, and I wouldn’t expect he’d do that to me ever. I was literally crying at that point and they just laughed. I really wanted to go home that day, and when I did, I didn't speak to either one for the rest of the day. But as I mentioned, I was faking my feelings and bottling up my troubles, and tomorrow I tried acting like nothing ever happened. It didn’t exactly work out since for the first time I had to act okay in front of someone who meant so much to me, and knew so much about me. They knew something was off and I was getting on their nerves because I was silent.
I forgot to mention that since Sasha and Jason started talking more in those rides, Jason and mine conversations reduced to minimum and then nothing. I cannot explain how much I miss our talks, jokes. How much I miss interacting with him, and how much is this hurting me.
After a few days of my tragedies and finally starting to pick myself up, Sasha told me she thinks she might have a crush on Jason. Boom. All the subtle flirting I saw between them now had confirmation I wasn’t tripping.
I need to also add that I really, really longed and wanted them to start talking to each other, but never thought that them talking would ruin my relationship with Jason to this point. In one of the recent question games I learned that for him Sasha was easier to talk to and that she understood people more. Yes, he explicitly said this with those exact words. There were so many situations in the past two months that got me to tears, I cannot mention them all, this is already long enough. I also noticed they were chatting 24/7 and that he was sending her photos and videos (which happened only 4 times in almost two years of our friendship). He was always telling her about his everyday things, his other friends etc. That was probably my last cue that “us” doesn’t exist anymore.
So now, the situation is. Sasha is turning 19 soon, and Jason and I are 19. The school year has ended, all we have left is prom night. There has been some tension between me and Sasha lately.
I did have conversations with both of them. Actually multiple with Sasha, and one with Jason. Sasha said that her trust in me is a little broken because I was hiding all of my emotions, but we could maybe work it out.
As for Jason, that conversation absolutely broke me. Again, I cannot mention everything that was said, but one of the things he said was that he never felt that he was nowhere near important to me as I was to him. At first, I thought that was on me for not showing my love more. But as much as my capabilities with all my fears go, I did try my best. He knew about my problems, and was always the one to most understand my mental health. He also said he thinks we will never be the way we were, he doesn’t want to lose contact completely, but that’s it.
But neither one of them wanted to tell me if I was the issue. Neither one wanted to tell me if I messed up, and if yes, how? Somehow it turned out as if I am the one at fault here. I apologized to both, but didn’t get my deserved apology.
On one hand I try to find it positive and great that he’s found someone he’s comfortable enough with to talk about all the stuff, on the other hand I am utterly destroyed. I lost a bunch of weight, I was constantly crying for days, I have a gag reflex when food is mentioned, I am spiraling down in my depression, and my therapist appointment is still two weeks away.
My mother assumes that Sasha started up some talks about me in the sense that I didn’t care about him, maybe even unintentionally. I don’t know what to think about it, and honestly I don’t. I want prom to be over and to heal.
I still miss our talks. The fact that we won’t end watching the show we did on discord also broke me, it was something ours, something special. We will never finish playing that mobile game. I still have urges to text him about things that happened to me, I have other friends of course, but I valued him more than everyone, and that backfired. We became strangers within one month and I cannot wrap my head around that fact.
What am I supposed to do here… What should I do… I really try to feel happy for them, but am simultaneously losing two really important friendships at the same time. My fear of getting attached again grew even bigger and stronger, I don’t know when I will feel comfortable with someone again. My thoughts are wrapped around him, I even stopped listening to my favorite artists in order to not associate songs with this pain in the future. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I am so desperate.
Missing him has become my habit, my routine. For his birthday I wrote him a letter in which I wrote something along the lines “If only we fought so I could hate you. But I cannot hate you, I am unable to hate you.” And really it is the way it is, I cannot hate him. He was more than a friend, less than a lover. I also cannot forget him that easily, he was something really big and important in my life, and… I hope that in another universe I am not grieving our friendship or whatever we had.
If you came here, thank you all for reading this.

​
///11th of June, 2006
“Dad, the moon!” I shouted as I entered the garage. My father was on the floor, under his Bugatti 57SC Atlantic, obsessively removing and re-installing pieces of the car like he always did. He quickly got up, a smile on his grease-stained face.
​
“Finally!” He said with his beer-breath, grabbing a towel and cleaning most of his face, before running outside as fast as he could. I followed him. I don’t know why I always liked these moments. Any child would find them terribly boring. But I always reveled on them. Maybe it’s because they were the only moments he smiled. He positioned his telescope on our front yard, adjusted the lens, drank a beer can and started looking at the full moon above us.
​
“Do you see it?” I asked, sitting on the grass next to him.
​
“Shut up.” He said, still looking. After half an hour of waiting, he started laughing. I opened my mouth to ask if he was seeing it, but I held my voice. Didn’t want to anger him.
​
“It’s blinking! It’s blinking Johnathan!” He laughed. I smiled. That wasn’t my name, though he called me that. Only several years later I would learn that was the name of his deceased younger brother. Every full moon, we would come look at it with the telescope. And he’d always call me Johnathan. Probably because he was always so drunk. But from always avoiding me or calling me “Brat”, Johnathan was a nice shift.
​
“Can I see?” I asked, and he lowered the tripod so I could see the moon. There was a small light blinking on it’s surface. It was truly beautiful.
​
“Fine, my turn again.” My father shoved me back, adjusted the tripod back, and started looking at it again. “It’s blinking so much tonight… Maybe… Brat, get my camera!” He shouted at me. I quickly went inside the house, and looked around for the camera in the living room. There it was, on a little pile of beer cans and empty rythmol boxes in the corner of the room. I hurried back outside, as fast as I could, as I did not want to anger my father.
​
I stopped on my tracks as soon as I was out of the house. There was a strange being involving my father. It looked like a snake, but I knew it was anything but a snake. There were not snakes that big where I lived. And certainly not with human faces. My father seemed oblivious to it, looking through his telescope, but the thing was all around him, from the bottom of his legs all the way to the top of his head.
​
“It’s blinking so much…” He said, in awe. The creature looked at me, locking eyes with me, and smiled, revealing several sets of sharp fangs. And then, it disappeared. My father looked at me, he was sweating. “I think… I need to lay down for a bit…” He muttered, before falling on the grass. I spent the entire night trying to wake him up, before my mother found me there crying the following day.
​
///09th of November 2021
​
“And that’s why you decided to study astronomy? Really?” Melissa laughed.
​
“Oh, come on, babe… Don’t make fun of my tragic past.” I said, finishing my waffles. She went to the fridges, grabbed the orange juice, and poured some in our cups.
​
“Shall we toast?” She asked.
​
“With orange juice? And what for?”
​
“Your impending graduation. What else?”
​
“Impending? Ha! I didn’t even start my capstone thesis.”
​
“So, what will it be about? Venus, right? Or was it Mars?”
​
“Nope. Too many people I know will already be working on planets like Venus and Mars. I thought about Neptune, but it’s too far away. So I figured, why not the Moon?”
​
“Please, don’t tell me this is about your father.”
​
“Mel, he wasn’t the best dad in the world. But he did left me his collection of vintage cars. This is what paid for my education.”
​
“He didn’t left it to you, it was divided between you and your mother.”
​
“Regardless, I feel like I owe him this. Apart from the cars, the moon was the only thing he loved.”
​
“You owe him nothing, Ezra.”
​
“I need to know what the blinking lights are! Lunar transient phenomena, it’s how they call them. There’s no scientific explanation to what they are.”
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“Just because there’s no known scientific explanation, it doesn’t mean one does not exist. And if there’s one, it’s certainly not creepy snake-man” She laughed.
​
///04th of September, 2022
​
The first thing you feel when you start seriously investigating the moon is how mysterious it is. We only went there a handful of times, and then never again. All reasons are given for this, but it never really felt right to me. Maybe what happened to my father always made me feel paranoid about the subject, but I somehow felt there were things about the moon that were hiding on plain sight.
​
The focus of my research, the lunar transient phenomena, is incredibly unknown. Few studies were done about it, and most of them were never published or were abandoned. The few that were made available were either from little-known universities in third-world countries, in languages that I couldn’t understand and without English translation, or mere compilations of recorded occurrences. I found some theories. The lights were caused by magnetism, or by gasses, or by asteroids, perspective…
​
But mere hypothesis were not enough for me. I needed to know. I needed to understand. I needed… I needed to confirm it weren’t those lights who killed my father that day.
​
So, I delved deep into the research. I spent weeks in my bedroom, reading books and more books, entering all sorts of websites, sending emails to experts, looking for anything that could give me more information. But through all my effort, the only thing I could find were theories or hypothesis, all of them with little to no evidence. In my search for answers, I started straying further away from modern science, entering strange websites and reading books that talked about blatant pseudoscience, like astrology or the paranormal.
​
///17th of February, 2022
​
“So, what books will you be basing your capstone on?” My orienting professor asked. I could not see his face properly, we were talking through a videocall and he was not very tech savvy, so his eyes and nose were out of the frame.
​
“Chris, I can only see your mouth!” I laughed.
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“Sorry…” He said, adjusting his camera. The framing was not perfect yet, but it was better. "Have you read the books I sent you?"
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"They... They were not what I was looking for."
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"What were you looking for, Ezra?"
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"I told you. Answers. I have been looking for answers, yet I only find questions."
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"We will only be able to find real answers when we actually set a lab on the moon. Until then, we will have to live with merely hypothesizing."
​
"I know, but..."
​
"Have you tried reading Kulikovsky?Or Hakan Kayal? Non-american studies in general."
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"Yes, professor Chris. But... All studies seem to contradict themselves. Some point to studies that I can’t find anywhere, like they don’t exist anymore. Like they were erased by someone…”
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“Some texts were never made digital or registered. It’s very unfortunate.”
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“Everyone tries to find a logical explanation... What if there isn't one?"
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"What is this truly about?"
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"What?"
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"It's just... You do know you can change your capstone thesis theme, right? Maybe an analysis of something more well-known could work better with your methodology."
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"Chris, I will not change my mind. We have discussed this before."
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"Well, well... I talked to one of my former colleagues, he is retired now, who also studied the moon, but his research was more focused on gravity. He told me there's a book called "A Study of the Moon with a New Lens" or something like that. Written by one Dr. Karl Hollfern in 1935."
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"That is way before LTP was even catalogued."
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"Catalogued, yes. Recorded? No. Hollfern studied extensevely the lunar mysteries. Unfortunately, he was executed by the Nazis because he opposed them. But his research lived on. My friend told me they have one of his books in the library. But it's in German."
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///18th of February, 2022
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I entered the library carrying a bag full of German grammar books and a dictionary. I would not let a little language barrier stop me from getting to the truth.
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“Hello, how can I help you?” The librarian asked, barely averting her eyes from her cellphone.
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“I’m actually looking for a book that could either be in the astronomy section or in the foreign titles section… Can you help me?”
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“Which book?” She was still looking at her phone, seemingly playing one of those generic casual mobile games.
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“It’s in German. Old, from the 1930s. Talks about studies of the moon made at the time.”
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“Unusual request, but ok…” She put her phone on the counter, and started typing on the computer. “Can’t find it. Do you have the author’s name?”
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“Karl Hollfern.”
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“Uncanny. It’s unlisted.”
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“What?”
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“We have it in the library, but it’s not available. We usually do this when books are being cleaned. Usually takes a couple of days… It says it won’t be listed until… Until 2100?
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“What? How does this makes sense?”
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“I don’t know. I’ve been working here for sixteen years, and have never seen something like this. Regardless, I can’t lend you the book. I can’t even let you access it in library grounds.”
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///23rd of February, 2022
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I was drinking my Starbucks cappuccino while trying to make myself comfortable on the shopping mall bench, to no avail. I was tense. I had never involved myself with something like this. If my mother or girlfriend knew, they would kill me. An older man made his way out of the crowd and patiently sat down next to me.
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“You were supposed to be sitting on the bench next to Nike. But no problem.” He laughed.
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“Sorry. I got confused…” I facepalmed.
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“I got the book you asked me too. But the price is going to be different in your case.”
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“As in more expensive?”
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“No. Normally, I charge twenty five grand, or double If the job is hard. In your case, the job was ridiculously easy. I will be charging five grand only.”
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“Thanks! I’m transferring to your account right now…” I said as I typed on my phone.
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“The book is in your car.”
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“How did you… Oh, of course.”
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“Pleasure doing business with you.” He got up and left. I immediately went to my car. There it was, Eine Untersuchung des Mondes mit einer neuen Linse.
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///28th of February, 2022
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“Honey, are you still awake?” Melissa asked me. I was sitting on a pillow in the corner of the room, aggressively doing more and more Duolingo lessons.
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“I’m busy, Mel.” I said, without averting my eyes from the green owl.
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“Is this about that German book you have been taking everywhere?”
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“No…” I blatantly lied.
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“Honey, you’ve been up all night. It’s ten to six.”
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“What?”
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“You are obsessed with this shit, Ezra! Look at you! This is the third time I find you here studying German instead of sleeping!”
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“I’m sorry, but you do know I have a capstone thesis to finish, don’t you?!” I screamed back at her.
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“Oh. So this is what’s all about, right?”
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“Babe, it’s not like that…” Before I could say anything, she stormed out of the apartment. I stood there, frozen, for a minute or two, before I went back to my Duolingo.
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///3rd of March, 2022
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“Hello Ezra” Chris said, as I adjusted my camera. As usual, I couldn’t see his face properly.
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“Good evening, professor Chris.”
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“Ezra, are you okay? You look tired.”
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“I’m fine.” I said vehemently.
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“Ezra… I… I have bad news for you.” When he said that, I felt like a hand was smashing my heart. “The university has rejected your intended theme.”
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“W-what?”
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“You’ll have to pick something else. I’m sorry.”
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“What? Why?!”
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“Apparently there’s information about Lunar Transient Phenomena that is undisclosed to the general public. The feds were here yesterday, talked with the dean about it. Said that researching the LTP was considered meddling in national security affairs, and that all projects focusing on it were to be halted.”
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“Bullshit!”
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“I’m sorry. I know how much time you have already invested in this. But we’ll find something else, Ezra. There are more lunar mys…” I interrupted him.
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“Why is it so hard to research a simple lunar phenomena?! Every time I advance, everyone tries to block me! They will not stop me from uncovering what happened to my father!” I slammed the table.
​
“What?”
​
“This will not stop me.” I muttered, while ending the videocall.
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///8th of March, 2022
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After some turbulent days, I was finally making progress again. My knowledge of German wasn’t great, but knowing basic grammar, using online dictionaries, and with a little help from online German studying communities, I was making my way through the book.
​
The book was almost a century old, yet I felt like I was finally making progress. The research by Hollfern was fascinating, but disturbing. He described how the “blinking moonlights” if watched carefully, could be interpreted as having meaning. My German was advancing but far from perfect, so I didn’t have the exact translation, but it said something about the moon speaking in some sort of secret code using the lights.
​
It also referenced some books, most of which seemed to not exist anymore, but some of them not only existed, I also managed to download their scanned PDFs. It was pretty unorthodox for a scientific study. There was a book on symbols and sigils of different religions, a compilation of theological texts about Gnosticism, a book compiling works by Schopenhauer, and a Hindi scroll explaining Chakras.
​
I didn’t understood yet how everything connected. Seemed like a strange collection of unrelated weirdness.
​
///10th of March, 2022
​
I stumbled upon something I had previously overlooked. There’s an work by Schopenhauer where he discuss reading the Upanishads, which are old Hindi texts. The Hindi text I had downloaded was translated to English, but what if I looked for the original? Maybe there was something I wasn’t shown.
​
The original had a section that was censored in the English version that talked about a Devas that was corrupted by an evil unknown entity called that attached on it’s solar plexus and made it miserable with overwhelming sadness and pain. A thing described as a floating jester.
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///13th of March, 2022
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The phone in the living room started ringing. I left it there, unwilling to stop reading the book and trying to translate the contents. The call went to voicemail, and then I heard the caller recording it:
​
“Hey Ezra, I know you’re going through a bad time, but as your orienting professor, I care for you. You didn't show up for any of your tests. I know you seem to be focused on your research, but this isn't the-" I unplugged the damn thing.
​
///16th of March, 2022
​
I got evicted after not paying my rent. Or I was supposed to be at least. I picked up my research stuff and rented a cheap motel room on the outskirts of my town. I could not pay for the rent, and least not for now, I spent most of my money buying books and old magazines during the last weeks. I don’t need a place to call mine for now. I just need to find the truth.
​
I know the government will come after me. I’m coming too close. But if they want me to stop, they will have to kill me. I’ve already lost everything. This investigation is all I have left.
​
///18th of March, 2022
​
There's an old website that I found while researching. A true relic, seems to be from the early 90s. It contains old conspiracies theories, like stuff about the Illuminati and New Age, Satanic Panic, how Ronald Reagan was actually replaced, among other things. But there was something among the insanity that I felt was the last thing missing in my investigation. The true reason why we never returned to the Moon and why the Soviets never even attempted landing on it.
​
According to that website, during the last moon expedition, in December of 1972, the astronauts were secretly instructed to find out what was causing the Lunar Transient Phenomena, and spent three days on the Taurus-Littrow Valley, the region where the phenomena was more frequent on the previous five years. They were carrying a seismometer, as the most influential theory at the time was that the LTP was being caused by moonquakes cracking the surface of the natural satellite and releasing gasses.
​
But what the seismometer detected was that there were no such thing as moonquakes. Their equipments revealed humongous structures, seemingly biological or mechanical, moving under the moon surface.
​
One day before they left, NASA detected an instance of LTP a few kilometers near where they were stationed, so the astronauts went there to check. What they found there was never disclosed, but some theorize they met one of the beings responsible for causing the blinking lights. And that was the reason humanity abandoned all expeditions to the moon. After five missions in three years, we never returned there.
​
///20th of March, 2022
​
I woke up feeling like my head was spinning. I was lying on the sofa of my motel room. Once again, I had spent the entire previous night and day reading texts cited by Dr. Hollfern. My tablet was out of battery, so I got up, feeling pain all over my body, and went looking for my charger. It took me a couple of minutes to notice the two men wearing dark suits, black ties and dark sunglasses sitting on my sofa. One of them had a silenced pistol on his hand.
​
“Good afternoon, Ezra Thornbridge.” The one holding the firearm said, with a voice so ordinary it was scary.
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“W-what?!” I blurted, still trying to overcome the pain.
​
“Oh, don’t mind us. We are just here to recover something.” The other man said, smiling.
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“Something that isn’t yours, yet you’re in possession of.” The man with the gun complemented.
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“I… Who are you?” I asked.
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“Right now, I’m the man pointing the gun at you.” The man with the weapon said, while his partner just shrugged.
​
“Fine, I’ll return your damn book. But I already know about it. I already put the pieces together."
​
"Oh, interesting. What do you think you know, Thornbridge?" One of them mocked.
​
"The Solar Plexus Clown Glider. I have studied them in depth. Or do you prefer to call them like the Gnostic theologians called them back in the day? *Archons…*”
​
“Look what we have here, Spencer. Like father like son.” The guy with the gun scoffed.
​
“I told you we should have just doped him and looked for the damn book while he slept. He is totally gone.” Spencer said.
​
“I’m not crazy! The Archons are real! They killed my father! They kill people! And you, instead of trying to protect the people, just hide their existence, just lie, just lie and lie and lie!”
​
“How can you be so smart yet so stupid?” The guy with the gun said.
​
“The Archons don’t kill people, Ezra. They just make you miserable and drown you in fear and pain.” Spencer said.
​
“But I saw one kill my father.”
​
“Your father died of chronic ventricular arrhythmia coupled with excessive alcohol ingestion. The thing you saw was merely an emotional parasite, feeding off his negative emotions and influencing him to indulge on them.” Spencer said.
​
“Does this mean…”
​
“Yes. It also infected you that day. That’s why you saw it. It’s been with you ever since. The more you learn about it, the more you dread, the more you obsess, the more you lose… You were feeding it all along.” Spencer explained.
​
“And why do you think we tried to protect you, dumbass? If the knowledge was harmless, we wouldn’t be around breaking the law and breaking people’s necks to prevent it from spreading.” The guy with the weapon said.
​
“It’s not too late, Ezra. When your father was alive, there wasn’t much we could do, but now we have technology to make them go away. But it has a cost.” Spencer explained.
​
“What cost?”
​
“You will forget your father. You will forget most about the moon and astronomy. Probably the entirety of the last few months. And there are probable side effects, like sporadic short-term amnesia.” Spencer said.
​
“Or we can just fucking shoot you in the forehead right now to prevent the thing from infecting more people. Your choice.” The guy with the gun said. I just turned around and ran as fast as I can towards the window behind me. I jumped out of it, shattering the glass, and fell on the hard cold concrete of the parking lot. I tried to get up, my body was all cut from the glass, and I felt something warm on my back, even though it was raining.
​
“Are you stupid?!” I heard the guy with the gun shouting while he and the other agent descended the staircase that led to the parking lot. I finally got up, feeling cold from the rain, and tried to run, but could only limp. Yeah, jumping out of the window like I was in an 80s action movie wasn’t the best idea. I heard another click behind me, and fell to the floor. I could see the agents running towards me, smoke coming out of the gun. There seemed to be snakes around both of them, smiling witch their human faces and several sets of sharp fangs.
​
I looked towards the sky. Among the raining clouds, I could see the moon above me, full and blooming. Blinking. Blinking so much.

I don't know if anyone can relate but out of every way my parents treated me (and still do), the one thing that still makes me so upset is how they isolated me in an already stuffy, conservative small town.
After elementary school, when it wasn't normal for parents to still meet the other parents, it automatically shifted from playdates to "hanging out" and my parents didn't like that. Literally in a small town of a few thousand people, where everyone knows everyone, my parents did not like me seeing anybody who wasn't my set few friends I did have.
Asking them if I could sleep over at a friend's house was agonizing and it always made me feel like I was doing something wrong because they'd act like it was such a chore to drive me a few miles away when all they did was either watch TV or sleep all weekend anyways. I couldn't do anything just on a few days notice and I had to ask them more than a week in advance (And of course I was always the first one to leave because I couldn't ever miss Sunday school or church on Sunday).
Then once I was no longer friends with those middle school friends, I had no friends. I was alone and got used to being alone besides going to school. Every time I tried to make friends outside of school, my parents killed every friendship. One time in particular, I had a migraine and managed to get out of going to church. But later that evening, my friend had a birthday party that I wanted to go to for a bit. When I asked to go, the only response I got was "I thought you had a headache?" Yet I was allowed to go get fast food at that exact time for whatever reason.
I have very few friends as an adult and while I don't have the energy to keep up with many people, it would be nice to at least feel like I could make more friends.
I've been working so hard on myself but my conversation skills are horrible. I always feel selfish and like I never ask enough about other people, even though I really try to. I'm getting better at remembering to check in on certain friends and that sort of thing, listening instead of just venting, but it's not easy.
It feels so embarrassing and humiliating to have the social skills of a child or teenager at best because my parents basically kept me under lock & key 24/7. When everyone else could have friends and socialize more freely, partying, all of that, I got to sit on my computer and chat with friends. Sometimes I'd get go to Walmart or McDonald's by myself maybe once a month. If I was lucky I got to spend some time with one "friend" maybe every other month but that was it. It's not the same as being in front of another person, spending quality time together.
After I could finally "date" I just ended up being around my boyfriends and that was my "friend" but of course whenever the relationship didn't work out, I was left with nobody to spend time with.
Yet my parents have had the nerve to actually say I "had trouble making friends" as a child. Damn, I wonder why? It's almost as if being isolated by making friends with anybody outside of a classroom will make it impossible to connect with anybody? And of course as an adult it is even worse and harder to make friends.
I wish I could've socialized properly as a child, because my brother did. He got lucky. It feels like I was punished just for being born a girl and it pisses me off so much.