Country pride restaurant missoula

I think those of us from immigrant backgrounds come at 2A and the gun culture in this country from a different perspective to most other Americans. Most of our parents come from countries where gun ownership is discouraged and restricted, where only the wealthy can even hope to own guns and where there is a predominant culture that says 'common people' shouldn't own, or aspire to own guns. Even though you can find people who are interested in shooting and firearms, the barriers are very steep. So, in America its not something we're born into, unlike other Americans who've been here longer, its something we adopt.
I grew up in Louisiana. My mom is from the Middle East so she always found American gun culture alien and bizarre and is ignorant about guns. She's not fanatically anti-gun, but guns don't have a positive connotation for her mainly because of all instability in the region. She's always taken aback at how 'easy' it is for any ordinary civilian to buy a "military rifle" from the store. She never gets why someone "needs that much ammo".
Though I'll always be grateful that when I was able to, she trusted me enough to keep my guns and ammo in the house, in my room, while I still lived with her, especially since I had a difficult upbringing and I didn't always behave the best in school, getting into fights and being around some sketchy people. She always knew I was interested in guns and shooting (I had bbguns as a kid) and she wasn't going to keep me away from them forever. So, as a teenager, she would send me to my uncle (my dad's brother) who lived in a rural area, where I would do some work for him. He would teach me how to handle and shoot real firearms safely and with respect. He had big enough land that one could shoot on it, which made going there a bit more enjoyable. For her, if I was going get into guns, better that my uncle initiated me than someone else who would be roguish and lead me down a bad path.
My interest with guns wasn't political. It didn't have much to do with frontier heritage, or my daddy taking me hunting, or as an emblem of identity, as would be the case for many (white) Americans. My mentality at the time was simply "guns are cool; shooting is fun!". Despite not really getting the 2nd Amendment at the time, I just thought it was the coolest thing ever that I lived in a country where I could buy a wide range of guns, however many of them I wanted, as much ammo as I wanted, from a store and just start shooting it at a range. It felt even cooler after the expiration of the Clinton era assault weapons ban in 2004. My mom always thought that my interest in guns was evidence that I really was an American. lol While I did run into sketchy bigoted types, especially in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, on the whole, at the ranges I went to when I was younger, people liked the fact that I as a 'newer' American was getting into firearms. It was like a point of pride or something.
I can't speak on behalf of others, but I would think that there are gun owners from an immigrant background who find 2A as a kind of novel, forbidden freedom they wouldn't otherwise be able to exercise anywhere else.

Ok, I'm going to try to keep this complex situation short. But I met a guy through an ad for a sugarbaby. I was pretty broke, working all the time, really depressed, very overweight, hadn't had any physical/sexual contact in more time than I want to admit, and my self confidence was at a zero. I saw an ad on CraigsList Erotic section that said an older, professional, in-shape/clean white guy was looking for a sugarbaby, basically for oral sex only in exchange for money. I'm not proud of this, but the idea of having some kind of sexual contact/relationship with a man was appealing and exciting. And I've always been told I give great BJ's and pride myself on that , plus I need some extra money and this wouldn't take much of my time, so I thought, why not? And I sent an email with some pics, and he responded later that night. And he asked me some (sexual) questions about my 'skills' and I said why don't I just show you? So he invited me to his house and I drove there that night. His place which was a really big mansion house right outside Washington DC, which is a very expensive place to live, so I was super impressed right away like, ok, this guy is rich.
Well turns out I recognize him from where I work. He is a regular at the restaurant and sort of has a reputation as someone connected to gangsters, gamblers, some powerful people.
He's nice at first and welcoming, but really fidgety and talking a lot, I figure out he's high. And that he has multiple girls that he pays to give him head while he's high , and that he does this a few times a month. He just strips to his boxers within like 2 mins of me walking in, and I am giving him head right away. So I give him head a few times that night and he's really critical of how i'm doing things and telling me what to do/not do the whole time, and I never really got into it or got my rhythm, and he seemed frustrated. He tells me I have to practice and improve and he's going to teach me and then I'll be ready to make money and be one of his regular girls .
His "#1 girl" was Connie. He showed me video of her giving him head. He'd always video record on his laptop and phone each time and showed me that he had a PornHub page with Connie and he also had like, probably 100 folders with girls names on them with videos of them all giving him head, and he showed me and said look, not to worry, I have all these girls and only Connie's videos are on PornHub, because only Connie agreed and filled the paperwork to put the videos up. So he doesn't put other girls videos up. And I didn't feel good about it and didn't trust him but I just said ok, and went along with it because I can never stand up for myself. So he had videos of me from day 1.
This goes on a couple months where I am basically this guy's Uber-BlowJobs and he's only given me like $60 total. I start to get tired of him and also he's getting more bossy/mean/misogynistic , and also rougher with me. He says it's his "kink" to say derogatory stuff to girls and asks me if that's ok, and that's it not personal, and it is just his weird kink and it really helps him get off. And I go along with it and say it's ok because I'm a pushover. And so he's calling me fat and ugly and a stupid whore and bossing me how to give him head, and he'd push my head down or be rough with me to the point i'd be crying sometimes and he'd say something mean about me crying and keep going.
I had had a really hard day at work and my mom was sick in the hospital, and I didnt want to go over to his place so I just stopped returning his texts. I was done with him and I wasn't getting more money or anything, he was just using me and Connie was always going to be #1 and I was always going to be trash that he spit on and called fat.
He texted me a lot without any response from me, he tried offering more money, more promises, he would turn into a super nice compassionate person when he was trying to convince me to do something, all to get me into his bedroom where everything would change, but it was all "pretend" and dont "take it personal".
Well then he sent me a text saying that "hackers" had hacked into his computer and they had access to all the videos. And they were threatening him/blackmailing him. And he said not to worry that he was taking care of it. I was freaking out because my family/dad/brothers/mom would absolutely kill me if they heard that there were porno movies of me getting degraded on the internet. My life and reputation in my family's eyes would be ruined.
He texts me again and says that the hackers are making demands, they want us , me and him, to make more porno videos where I give him head, and they want specific sexual things to happen in the videos. And he also showed screenshots of my facebook friends, all my family and friends, and said the "hackers" had these names and they were going to send videos of me to all my family and friends if I didn't comply with their demands.
So he suggested that we just make the videos and appease the hackers so they dont release the videos to my family/friends. Now I see obviously it was him lying, but at the time I was so scared and freaking out that I wasn't really sure. So I went over to his house again and that's when he told me he was just kidding about the hackers and he just wanted to see me again. I was so pissed but he gave me some money up front this time to give him head and then I was right back in his room, giving him head and crying and I hated myself for being there and pleasuring him, and was so disgusted with myself that I coudlnt just get up and walk out. And the whole time he's calling me a dumb bitch and saying how he knew he'd get me back in there sucking his dick, and all these disgusting things to me.
Then when I didn't want to do the more hardcore stuff that the "hackers" demanded, that's when he said that the "hackers" might still release the videos if I don't do these things and make the videos how they want. And I said "I thought you said you were kidding?" and he said "No, they were real, I jus tdidnt want you to worry about it. But if we dont make these videos they'll release the videos."
So I had to do let him do things to me and hated it the whole time, was visibly crying and didn't want to be there, and he was enjoying himself even more it seemed. And after a few hours of abuse I left and felt so empty and weak and pathetic. I cried the whole way home. But at least I did one smart thing, I just blocked his number and hoped he wouldnt release the videos. And he didn't (hasn't) yet anyway, but they're still out there. And I still see him sometimes at work and he acts friendly and says we need to hang out again, he misses me, etc. Anyway just wanted to get this off my chest.

The renaming of Indian cities has been a topic of intense debate and discussion in recent years, with the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) often at the center of the controversy. While the renaming of cities is not a new phenomenon in India, the frequency and motivations behind these changes have raised concerns among various sections of society.
Proponents argue that the renaming of Indian cities is an attempt to restore their old names and reclaim the rich cultural heritage of the country. Indian cities' old names remind us of the country's fascinating historical tapestry. They believe that by reverting to the original names, a sense of pride and historical continuity can be instilled. This, they argue, helps preserve the legacy and identity of the cities.
However, critics view these renaming efforts as politically motivated and driven by a desire to impose a particular ideological narrative. They argue that the process overlooks the historical context and significance of the previous names, erasing important aspects of India's colonial past. These critics emphasize the need to preserve the deep-rooted historical and cultural heritage associated with the old names of Indian cities.
Moreover, concerns have been raised about the practical implications of the renaming process. Changing the names of cities involves significant administrative efforts and expenses, including altering official documents, signages, maps, and public records. Some argue that these resources could be better utilized to address more pressing issues such as infrastructure development, healthcare, and education.
Striking a balance between preserving heritage and fostering inclusive decision-making is essential when considering the renaming of Indian cities. It is important to engage in open dialogue and take into account the perspectives of all stakeholders to ensure that any renaming decisions are made with sensitivity and historical accuracy. By doing so, India can respect its past while building a future that embraces its diverse cultural tapestry.
To explore more about the renaming of Indian cities and the significance of their old names and heritage, click here: https://hindinsider.com/indian-cities-old-names/

I am not a native english speaker, apologies in advance!
I am sorry i believe this communtiy is great!! always brings a smile on my face. This is an impulsive post haha i will probably delete it later. i typed this in one go, a bit impulsive and i am sorry if I come off wrong.
It is a really long text so I am already grateful for just posting it here. It is almost impossible to go through this illeterate english bible chapter haha so i understand.
Thanks again this forum is great! You guys are my inspiration; being proud of who you are, and seeing ADHD as something to embrace.
Well, The relationship lasted six years from ages 19 24. Despite his flaws, my partner was kind, patient, and loving when he didn't have anger issues.It was my first relationship, and I had never been in love or had sex before.
I always knew deep down that his actions were not okay, but he would confuse me with moments of kindness.
Now, in a moment of clarity, I realize how easily he made me feel like I was wrong and how it affected my self-esteem.I feel weak, embarrassed, and insecure after years of being with him. At the same time, I am really grateful for all the happy moments, and there is a part of me that feels like i am wrong for saying these things, as it is not "truly" him. I feel so weak, i tried therapy, but even my cogntive behavioral therapist literal words were "you have no identity" during hard topics you switch the subject, ask for validation. I spoke later with a counselor from school, who told me it is unproffesional and therapy can take a long time, so I should not be disencouraged.
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However, I blocked out many negative moments because of the positive ones and realizing now so much more, such as these examples:
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• He sometimes displayed anger issues, including pushing me against a wall, mimicking me when I cried, breaking objects, and verbally abusing me.
• He often blamed me for his anger that "I made him do that" or "if you werent like this/or forgot that than I woudlnt have.." .for even small things like leaving cabinets open or misplacing items, calling me "a child" "dumb" "dramatic" , or to expressing my feelings, as he called it "complantingand i was pretending to be sad/ ADHD is a choice. I am aware it is not an excuse! It is an explenetation. i am just hurt that he would call me lazy, dumb, unwilling, careless, a child, stupid that i decide to feel like i do. he waited for me after i got diagnosed that day.. he held my hand, we sat at the table watching my results with my mom, holding my hand.
• There were instances where he embarrassed me in front of others, from screaming in public or when I was having a night with my girlfriedns at home, when he visited his family abroad, we had bottle of wine food, just moved into a new neighbourhood and our numbers got added to the neighborhood WhatsApp group: he called my up angry, claimed after leaving the house for one week, i am already busy with boys... i did not understand; he knew some people in the group, we had dinner with one neighbour before, I cried and felt embarrased in front of my friends, especially since i had not seen them for months and we had such a great time; these things happened more often when I would go out.
• or while shopping with my mom (he said he wanted to come) there was an irritation and he walked away in front of us
• He sometimes made hurtful comments and engaged in aggressive behavior, including suggesting I deserve to be fucked by other men, telling me I would regret everything, and speeding up the car during arguments. that he regrets ever talking to me, i am not worth it, i am never there for him, he will never talk to me again. At the same time he told me to believe in myself, supported me with my studies (while also telling me to drop out). He is verbally really strong and I am just confused. I was just happy when things were good, cause I loved him and wanted to hold on to that; without the anger i could have not wished for more.
• He broke up with me many times, told me afterwards he just said it out of anger did not mean anythinh.
• Last argument when my mom and sister went on a holiday (i have a thesis to write right now) he told me: no one wants you, even your family doesnt want you on a holiday with you. We facetimed a lot during that trip, they even bought gifts for my boyfriend and I. I just think right now it is so cruel that he said that.... cause it made me feel acutally at one point that it is true. actually somehow i still do that their life would be better without me in it.
• He would often leave me alone during arguments, even when we were abroad visiting his home country, leaving me feeling scared and isolated.
• screaming at me in public
• left me many time abroad alone; throwing a bike at me and telling me to get the fuck out, i was alone, no idea where to go, used google maps to find the nearest beach and bawled my eyes out at the shore. one time he even left me when my battery was low, so i had to wait for him to come back and i felt so weak.
• The last incident involved him leaving me alone in a restaurant while intoxicated, causing a scene, , i had to sit down and expressed that i wasnt feeling good, he screamed at me to stand the fuck up, and left me for a while. two women asked to help me and stayed next to me. He walked towards me and said in his native language to them that i am just crazy. I followed him home, he was marching in front of me saying it was over; i told him after all those years, how can we treat each other like that? He pushed me away and told me to go, and at home pack my bags. In panic, crying , searching a flight i stood at the door; he cried and asked to come back.
• There were still TWO DAYS to go; i stayed, even went to a museum with him, bought a book as a gift. my heart was broken; he said that he wanted to respect me as when he felt that we hugged i needed time, I was just relieved somehow that it was over; it wasnt. When i didnt want to have sex that night..we argued again and the broke a chair
• The next morning he walked out of the door and did not say a word when i tried to talk( in the meantime when he left, i walked to the kitchen and talked to his roommate, a girl that offered me her number in case i need help, hit up if she is in my home coutnry, just i thought). i saw it as a nice gesture, girl talk.
• when he came home with the flowers in his hand, and he knew that i talked to his roommate, he gave me the flowers angry; he asked me to not engage with "these people" but i told him it is nothing. Later i was unappreciated cause i was confused about the flowers and his anger. He told me 'i wanted to give you flowers and have sex' you disrespect me, you do not have to be kind to her, but to me'. i was utterly confused and sad. he screamed, (threw something again everybody heard and i felt embarrased). when i walked into the kitchen again i did not even dare to look at her when he was making sandwiches.
• That day i had to fly home, i brought the flowers, even held his hand in the buss, he made me a sandwhich for on the way which i thought was nice. I was still incredibly sad about everything that happened; but i felt bad for him somehow. I even send him a pic of the flower in the plane, i bought his favorite comic book at the airport so he could read it when he visits me next time. Now i feel so stupid, i dont know how to feel about it.

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• One time he stepped out of the car in front of a traffic light, i had no drivers license, i pulled him back,
• I am really embarrased for thine one ... that same day of the traffic light, he caught me at my collar and grabbed me shaking, i was so scared i statched his neck and pushed him off me. he walked out of the car, the alarm went off, no idea how to close it, had no keys, i looking for him around at night crying. I hated myself seeing the scratches in his neck, i still feel so bad for this day. I remember every time i saw it i cried, walked out of the room, i felt so sad for him, when he smiled at me the next moring at the breakfast table, he was calm, holding my hand. we did not talk about it, never
• Now i realize: why did he touch me? Why dont i stand stiill with why I felt unsafe? I know it is no exccuse what i did. but i feel weak for never bringing it up once again. I suffer from heavy eczema since a child, scratching myself at night. These motngs are worse and i somehow think i deserve it cause of what i did to him

He had many good qualities and gestures, such as driving long distances to see me, planning romantic outings, being great with children and animals, and cooking for me every single day cause he liked to do so, plannign surprise birthdays for my mom, driving my mom to the hospital, he could be very positive overall and joyful; people, everyone around me loved him and would say; it is easy to love him
Now lisrening back to the voice messages i send (yes he gave me the world he did a lot what i am not mentioning here) but i notice once i brought up the fact that the arguments were not okay, he told me he doesnt deserve that, i should find somebody else, that i cannot reapeat this a thousand times it is not true. I supported him throughout the years, i told him that he doesnt deserve to feel this way in his anger and I am sorry for him and with help we can overcome this. He ironically joked"youre gonna pay for my sessions"?. He spends 400 euros in the month on weed (i am cool with smoking, i do it too sometimes, but than i am a bit sad that he does not want to (as he has the money) and never saw the point.
At the same time, he told me during the break up that i can call him, i should date other people (after one week), and he was serious since he wanted to build a future with me, house, baby and all. He even gave me a diamond ring, which could be symboliic seen he said as a step he said.
I dont think he has any idea......
I am angry at myself for tolerating this behavior and not recognizing the signs earlier.
I always felt guilty for small mistakes and felt like something was wrong with me.
The relationship had a negative impact on my mental health at the same time i never felt so happy in those good moments, so loved, , and I now question if he played a role in my increased sadness and depression.He made me feel like I was on top of the world while kicking me down, and I feel like a failure.
I have a study delay and an unfinished thesis. he graudated before me and found a job in the meantime, drove every weekend two hours to see me. he wanted to move abroad with me.
i was not feeling so great in my skin, and i expressed that i wanted to be more strong, independent, before moving together abroad; i always ignored that deep down I was afraid of not having enough backbone in arguments, and i was afraid abroad in case if i would be alone, plus somehow i still feel like i am not good enough. I am still not graduated (thesis in two weeks to deliver help and i am typing this impulsive text).
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Despite his claims of putting more effort into the relationship I realize that I never felt safe enough and always wanted to proof myself. Hoenstly I still want to, for my fam, for him, myself. I just want to be worth.
I apologized repeatedly in voice messages, reminiscing about the good times and questioning what I could have done differently.
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I tried to talk about with my mom before about this topic, we never talked about feelings growing up, she had her past too. But I see from her face that I upset her, I ask her for advice, she was watching a show she asked me to put if off cause and she was going upstairs. I apolgized a lot and said i was sorry again, that she could keep watching i ran upstairs and now I am here. it feels wrong to talk. And in an impulsive moment that I do open up, i always regret it.
Before bed she came to my room and wished me goodnight. both laying in bed in another room, i tild her i was sorry that i talked about it and i should have not done that, she had a nice glass of wine, watched a show, i was not considerate to talk about these things. she replied that she is the one that needs to apoligezed cause i havent talked about it with anyone and she is a bad mom. of course i said it is not the case, she is an amazing mom and i love her more than anything. Now i feel even worse, knowing that she feels bad. it reminds me again that talking does no good somehow, although i want to, doesnt mean other people want to talk about it or listen, it can make them upset. so here I am haha . i regret it deeply.
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I don't know what to feel. I cannot name one single positive thing about myself. I feel like a failure really. When i look in the mirror i dont like what i see. throughout life i always stumbled, with no explaination why. i have alwats felt like i was not good enough, and probably because i think so, nobody will ever feel that.
I remember growing I up, i could not remember something someone said to me "i was a liar" or "i am not willing to listen" , I forgot my keys "You are stupid" , my dad throwing my clothes on the street in front of the whole neighbourhead because my room was a mess again, or got hit. these years, going though a divorce of my partents, living in an isolated trailer park for a bit with my mom and no drivers license made it hard to go out as there was nothing nearby, (my mom is amazing and worked her ass of to have a home now, i am super proud of her)i had no drivers license, heightened my loan and rented an appartment with my boyfriend together during covid (great times but lots of downs too), now i am failing myself, relationship, school, no job experience besides an internship. i am literally a failure
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(this story is going to sound like bullshit maybe but i want to express confusion)
My sister and I also had a difficult time. The last argument i had with her is once she moved back after her studies failed (she is starting again she is really strong and resilient!) I visited new schools with her to check them out. while she stayed here, we argued about literally a pair of pants; i could borrow pants one day, the next morning i wore them too to go to visit the shop (she is really invested in clothes/ huge warderobe) and she got so angry, i apologized but she claimed i had no respect for her that she told me, things got heated, i cried and i walked to my room to sit on my bad, she stood in the doorway and told me "i should take more ADHD pill cause I am obviously crazy and she would rather live with my (ex-abusive) dad than with me". I yalled how can you say such thing, you dont mean it. she literally packed her suitcase and got out. My mom told me it was my fault because i wore this pants that morning.. my mom of course being sad, i tried to talk about it , i felt so alone.
I know it is wrong of me, the pants are her boundaries, she told me i could wear them the day before, without thinking i stood up the next morning, picked them up from my chair, and moved without thinking. i tried to bring up why it made me feel so sad and i believe the actions/words are maybe a bit drastic what she said: "please are you gonna use this against me for how long". I still feel upset about it till this day. After she moved, she would still come home to watch tv during the day and acted like nothing happened. of course we never talked, i stayed in my room, went to the library or took a walk.
My sister broke up with her boyfriend right now and therefore we of course immediately forgot about any past tensions. I also wanted to make it alright for my mom, always. i smile, but it never felt the same, i am still upset. Luckily now things are a bit better. i love her a lot, i just hope she is happy.
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Espeically now with the study delay of two years, i feel like i am not going anywhere.
i was trying to be hopeful looking for jobs with no experience needed, to give myself some hope. i know it is stupid, i have to weeks to deliver my thesis and with everything going on i cannot seem to focus, i will try my best, My fam told me that "which job are you gonna do actually , is there something that you can do ". I laughed it away as a joke, i thought it was funny, but actually hurted me deeply because it wasnt a joke. They expressed it before.
Why does it always feel like i have to take ten extra steps to each a destination?
I recently reached out to my school counselor again: we used to talk more at school but i dissapeared for a year. i reached out, we talked for more than one hour on teams, crying my eyes and it was okay, she is amazing. she could remember what i said the first year of school walking through her doors. She told me that she never forgot about me especially since she opened up her personal life (we went through similar things in life) and she saw herself in me. Now she emails me with positive messages, always expressing that if i need to talk, even after i finish school she is there! I am really grateful for her in my life actually. I want to stay in touch i have to try my best. Even though it are small moments, they mean everything to me,This has really been a light point recently, it hit me when she told me that i need to stop thinking as she used to say to herself, that I don't matter, that there is no space for you, that i can say how i feel, i can say no, that i am worth to exist.
Anyways i dont want to self pitty myself, i am grateful to have a roof on top of my head, a family that loves me, food on the table, i am healthy, there are so many blessings.
I am sorry if i come off like i am not grateful. i am sorry if i come off unconsiderable.
I just dont know what to do, what to feel, what to think.
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It feels like i am standing still for so long... It is my fault cause i allowed all these things.
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I havent seen my friends for more than a year. One week ago a friend came for dinner , this already makes me happy that it is a step in the right direction !
I really dont like who i am. why cant i be more strong?
honestly it feels that i am doing something wrong, speaking so badly about him. I feel guilty and embarassed of myself. He was really kind and loving. I wonder if I would have been more strong, maybe he wouldnt disrespect me like that. Maybe I allowed him too, and I did. So it is my fault.
Still doesnt make it alright.
I hope one day to love myself. Especially before a raise a daughter of my own, Maybe if I ever did, this wouldnt have happened. I am so sad

Ok, I'm going to try to keep this complex situation short. But I met a guy through an ad for a sugarbaby. I was pretty broke, working all the time, really depressed, very overweight, hadn't had any physical/sexual contact in more time than I want to admit, and my self confidence was at a zero. I saw an ad on CraigsList Erotic section that said an older, professional, in-shape/clean white guy was looking for a sugarbaby, basically for oral sex only in exchange for money. I'm not proud of this, but the idea of having some kind of sexual contact/relationship with a man was appealing and exciting. And I've always been told I give great BJ's and pride myself on that , plus I need some extra money and this wouldn't take much of my time, so I thought, why not? And I sent an email with some pics, and he responded later that night. And he asked me some (sexual) questions about my 'skills' and I said why don't I just show you? So he invited me to his house and I drove there that night. His place which was a really big mansion house right outside Washington DC, which is a very expensive place to live, so I was super impressed right away like, ok, this guy is rich.
Well turns out I recognize him from where I work. He is a regular at the restaurant and sort of has a reputation as someone connected to gangsters, gamblers, some powerful people.
He's nice at first and welcoming, but really fidgety and talking a lot, I figure out he's high. And that he has multiple girls that he pays to give him head while he's high , and that he does this a few times a month. He just strips to his boxers within like 2 mins of me walking in, and I am giving him head right away. So I give him head a few times that night and he's really critical of how i'm doing things and telling me what to do/not do the whole time, and I never really got into it or got my rhythm, and he seemed frustrated. He tells me I have to practice and improve and he's going to teach me and then I'll be ready to make money and be one of his regular girls .
His "#1 girl" was Connie. He showed me video of her giving him head. He'd always video record on his laptop and phone each time and showed me that he had a PornHub page with Connie and he also had like, probably 100 folders with girls names on them with videos of them all giving him head, and he showed me and said look, not to worry, I have all these girls and only Connie's videos are on PornHub, because only Connie agreed and filled the paperwork to put the videos up. So he doesn't put other girls videos up. And I didn't feel good about it and didn't trust him but I just said ok, and went along with it because I can never stand up for myself. So he had videos of me from day 1.
This goes on a couple months where I am basically this guy's Uber-BlowJobs and he's only given me like $60 total. I start to get tired of him and also he's getting more bossy/mean/misogynistic , and also rougher with me. He says it's his "kink" to say derogatory stuff to girls and asks me if that's ok, and that's it not personal, and it is just his weird kink and it really helps him get off. And I go along with it and say it's ok because I'm a pushover. And so he's calling me fat and ugly and a stupid whore and bossing me how to give him head, and he'd push my head down or be rough with me to the point i'd be crying sometimes and he'd say something mean about me crying and keep going.
I had had a really hard day at work and my mom was sick in the hospital, and I didnt want to go over to his place so I just stopped returning his texts. I was done with him and I wasn't getting more money or anything, he was just using me and Connie was always going to be #1 and I was always going to be trash that he spit on and called fat.
He texted me a lot without any response from me, he tried offering more money, more promises, he would turn into a super nice compassionate person when he was trying to convince me to do something, all to get me into his bedroom where everything would change, but it was all "pretend" and dont "take it personal".
Well then he sent me a text saying that "hackers" had hacked into his computer and they had access to all the videos. And they were threatening him/blackmailing him. And he said not to worry that he was taking care of it. I was freaking out because my family/dad/brothers/mom would absolutely kill me if they heard that there were porno movies of me getting degraded on the internet. My life and reputation in my family's eyes would be ruined.
He texts me again and says that the hackers are making demands, they want us , me and him, to make more porno videos where I give him head, and they want specific sexual things to happen in the videos. And he also showed screenshots of my facebook friends, all my family and friends, and said the "hackers" had these names and they were going to send videos of me to all my family and friends if I didn't comply with their demands.
So he suggested that we just make the videos and appease the hackers so they dont release the videos to my family/friends. Now I see obviously it was him lying, but at the time I was so scared and freaking out that I wasn't really sure. So I went over to his house again and that's when he told me he was just kidding about the hackers and he just wanted to see me again. I was so pissed but he gave me some money up front this time to give him head and then I was right back in his room, giving him head and crying and I hated myself for being there and pleasuring him, and was so disgusted with myself that I coudlnt just get up and walk out. And the whole time he's calling me a dumb bitch and saying how he knew he'd get me back in there sucking his dick, and all these disgusting things to me.
Then when I didn't want to do the more hardcore stuff that the "hackers" demanded, that's when he said that the "hackers" might still release the videos if I don't do these things and make the videos how they want. And I said "I thought you said you were kidding?" and he said "No, they were real, I jus tdidnt want you to worry about it. But if we dont make these videos they'll release the videos."
So I had to do let him do things to me and hated it the whole time, was visibly crying and didn't want to be there, and he was enjoying himself even more it seemed. And after a few hours of abuse I left and felt so empty and weak and pathetic. I cried the whole way home. But at least I did one smart thing, I just blocked his number and hoped he wouldnt release the videos. And he didn't (hasn't) yet anyway, but they're still out there. And I still see him sometimes at work and he acts friendly and says we need to hang out again, he misses me, etc. Anyway just wanted to get this off my chest.

in the forums it has emerged that some countries such as Poland, Lithuania, Romania and Hungary have been mistakenly excluded from the pride event despite there being no anti-LGBT laws. more accurately, they are unable to view or use Overwatch content prides. is there some mistake with eastern european servers cataloging them as part of Russia? I made a list in the official forum (if you are a user who noticed the same error, write it together with your country of origin if you know that there are no anti lgbt laws) but we have not received a response anywhere, not even on twitter.
https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/overwatch/t/problem-about-pride-event-localization/822835
And it also seems that the short story about Phara and Baptiste hasn't been translated into any language other than English.
could you solve it, devs? or any reddit moderator in passing this feedback?

Specifically North East Asia (especially Japan and Korea)
I've always lived in the UK, and when I was younger, it was like this part of the World didn't even exist.
There were Chinese takeaways, but there were never any NE Asians at my school (except Southern Asians like Pakistanis and Indians, which there are a lot of) or in my town. Maybe they just kept to their own small communities. I still don't see that many to be fair.
You didn't see them on TV, or movies, with the exception of Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee movies. You didn't hear of music from these countries, or anything really. I remember a couple of anime shows on TV like Sakura, and of course Pokemon, but as they had dubbed English, I don't think anyone really thought of them as Japanese, they were just another animated TV show.
People didn't really go on holiday over there, or talk about it. Or reference these countries in any way.
But now it seems like everyone loves these countries. K-POP is really popular, I constantly see Korean TV shows and movies blowing up and being talked about. People love anime and Korean/Japanese restaurants and sushi places are absolutely booming.
People talk about how beautiful these countries are and wanting to visit (or actually visiting) whereas in the past it felt like nobody even knew where these countries were.
Youtube is full of videos of people exploring these countries and making videos about them, and the interest seems to be much higher than it is for other countries.
Looking at websites like Twitch, it seems like Asian girls are extremely popular among western viewers and they are generally seen as being extremely attractive, but surely they look the same as they always did so why was this not really a thing when I was growing up?
I get that the internet gave more exposure to far away countries, but is that the only reason? Was any of it due to people holding grudges after WW2? Why don't people seem to feel the same way about other Asian countries? If Japan and Korea are just doing something right, what is it?
Edit: Just thought of another question. Have these countries done anything to target the west? Have they changed their media (TV shows, music, etc.) to be more appealing to people outside of Asia?

We’ve been married for 17 years. It has been a tough tough journey. In the beginning, I was a bit immature. Also didn’t try my best to find work, but she stuck by me and even supported us in those first 2 years. I was going to university at the time, and thought that I would land that perfect job. So I was stupid to think if I hold out a little longer, the company I wanted to go to would hire me. I had won a few awards, and was full of myself.
She was the bread winner, and I sometimes helped her at her work. We were innocent, naive, and simple. However we did fight like all young couples, and she did threaten to leave me, though she never did. As I promise to change. Thinking back, I’ve been trying to change for her since that time…
Then I got a call from my dad. He was dying, and only had less than 2 years. He helped pay for all of my educational shenanigans. And being the eldest, it was my duty to take care of him. My dad lived in another country, so my wife and I packed up and relocated.
It was hard for us both. It was a really really hard for her. I got my act together, and had to support her and dad. We spent all our savings on flight and logistics and with barely any money, and working odd hours. It was stressful, but we tried our best to make it pleasant. She made some friends from church, I managed to enroll her to a local university to learn the local language while I worked.
It slowly got better, as she began to form her social circles. Here friends from university, tend to be married into rich and affluent families. Soon she complained about not having name brand bags that cost a whole months worth of salary. We fought and bickered. She tells me, why I would always say no to buying things for her, especially when other husbands would just say ok to their wives.
Eventually I landed a better paying job that paid double the previous. I even introduced her into the company, and she was even hired as a sales assistant. It was very cool, and I was happy we got to go to work together, and leave work together. The extra money really helped the situation more. It was hard work, but it felt good to make money. It felt good to treat her as she deserved to be treated.
Then my dad died. We cremated him, and I don’t remember much, but she was there with me. I really appreciated her being there. Not long after, my mom move in, and things got a bit worse. My wife complained about money, apartment, the way I communicated with her, my mother, etc. To be fair, all those things were valid points for complaint, but very unnecessary. Through thick and thin, I said to myself. It was just very hard to not to get her angry. I believe she threatened divorce again. I had to ask my mom to move out.
Then we made up and had our first child and second child. Continue to argue. She fights and blows up over the smallest things. Lectures me , the kids for hours if we didn’t do as she said. Then she stared withholding intimacy. It had happened before, but not to the extent and frequency as it has been. Compounded by all the fighting and her cussing me out. I became tired, vengeful, and e started chatting to some women from dating apps. Eventually went on a few dates and sexual encounters.
But the guilt was too much. I confessed to my wife. We almost broke up, but she accepted my apology. Since then, when ever she was angry with me, the words she used became more vindictive and hurtful. I don’t say anything, because of my infidelity. My biggest mistakes to look elsewhere for comfort and sexual gratification. I regret it so much.
I have been sleeping on the couch, off and on, for the last 3 years ;70% of the time. She is angry all the time. So I just tip toe and try to a paid confrontation. It’s terrible. I now ham recovering from a serious health condition, due to multiple surgeries. She threatened to divorce, which my kids have heard on numerous occasions. I feel so bad for my kids, having to experience so much fighting.
Finally, last week. We got into an argument about why I was upset at the restaurant. She was telling my kids off in public for chatting and being kids. Then when finally home, she said she wanted divorce. I finally gave in. During the last 7 days, I talked to my children, and told them about what wrong I had done. I told them it was my fault. I told them both mom and I love them always. It was my mistake, and my responsibility alone.
Today, she hands me the papers which she had signed last week. Tells me I owe her money. She’s not my house keeper. We have loans under my name, and she expect me to take a loan out and pay her with it. She wanted to take both my kids, but one wanted to stay with me. She was furious. I was called many things again. I tell her we can sell the car. I giver her a few months of my saved salary.
I don’t know what to do. I’m just sad our family is broken up because of my mistakes, my infidelity. My kids will need to grow up far apart. My kids are heartbroken I told them it’s daddy’s fault. And I am so so sorry.
I got 2 weeks to borrow more money. I gotta pay for their airfare, living expenses, etc. The previous loan she insisted on for Bitcoin and crypto, did not translate into anything. If I don’t, I truly think I won’t see my youngest child again.
Any advise greatly welcomed.

Hi I am not an English speaker, I am sure if this is an appropriate title and I’d sincerely say sorry if the question offends anyone… I don’t mean to cause any trouble and conflicts :(
I just had this question for so long: as I’m scrolling on Instagram (it seems that) there are way more Brazilian/Spanish gays than those from other countries. They got hot pages, many have onlyfans accounts, there are more doctors/neuropsychologists/etc than other groups… is it just my wrong feeling? Or it’s the algorithm? Or other reasons? Could somebody explain this (can do it through dm if you think that’s necessary)…
Again, I’d feel terribly sorry if this is appropriate to ask and causing any troubles. I’ll keep an eye on the post and delete it if necessary.
Thanks for reading. Happy Pride Month.

Dear Professor Peterson,
I realize that your schedule probably won’t allow you to read this letter, least to reply. I am not expecting either of these and will not be offended. Why do I write it, then? Well, most probably because in the past several years you have been for me the voice of reason from abroad. Too many things are going in a crazy and disastrous direction, and listening to your lectures and videos have been very inspiring. It always amazes me how deeply you investigate the problem and how thoroughly you analyze it. In many cases listening to what you say have been like hearing what I always felt was true, but could not formulate and justify it myself. Thank you for that experience.
During the past year, which not only attracted the whole world’s attention to a conflict in Ukraine (at last, I’d say, war started there in 2014), but also demonstrated the unwillingness of countries and people to hear each other, I felt the growing urge to share Russian understanding of current situation and of the events that lead to it with someone who could probably be able to hear. Your name was the first to come to my mind. I hesitated until some time ago I came across the interview that you have recorded – “Israel, Russia, China, Iran: The World in Conflict” and it actually triggered me into writing. It occurred to me that, objective as you are, you may be unaware of some facts and interpretations, partly because modern media have mastered the art of being silent about some facts while shouting about the others, partly because you were born and raised in Anglo-Saxon civilization, with all embedded ideas and principles.
A bit about my background. Master’s degree in English language and literature, spent one year as a student in Connecticut, worked in American-owned companies for 17 years. That allows me to a certain degree to understand both sets of values.
I wanted to offer for your attention the view from the other side on what’s happening now between Russia and Western European civilization. I don't say that it is correct, I just say how Russians see it.
Very briefly, just point by point:

• Currently many people in the West are speaking about Russia as about a threat. But what makes you think that we see you differently? We see you as a growing threat. We don’t trust you. And we have plenty of reason for feeling this way.
• We see the West is regularly breaking its own rules and demonstrating double standards, so we can’t rely on its words.
• It has been clearly shown to us, that we will never be accepted by the West as an equal partner, so to us the West is neither a friend, nor a partner, but a competitor at best, an enemy at worst.
• We have seen what the West does to regimes that don’t obey and how the West does it, so West is a serious threat. Don’t come any closer.

3 basic principles of western foreign policy
Looking at the international events of past 30-40 years, we may see 3 basic principles of international policy that the West is utilizing.

1. Democracy is the best possible society model.

Hard to argue – there is the strongest correlation between availability of human rights in society and its prosperity. Let’s accept it as it is, although it is much more complicated and there are other factors that should be taken into account, like, for example:

• Pure democracy is limited to small communities, and is impossible in big countries. Once a certain threshold is passed, democracy is either a burden to every decision made, or is executed via representatives. And representatives, being people with all their imperfections, gradually start spoiling and corrupting the idea.
• Democracy tends to evolve, or, I’d rather say, degrade into oligarchy. Examples are numerous. Ancient Greece and Rome, Novgorod Republic (XII-XV cc), medieval Poland, etc. Even now – with all our experience, we keep hitting the same wall. Legal practice of lobbying in USA is the desire of big money (oligarchs) to have more influence on country policy. In Russia lobbying is illegal, so the same goal is achieved by other means, but without digging deep into details, it is the same – democratic form of power, spoiled by natural human desire to grab more for oneself on the expense of others.
• The most prosperous regions now (North America, Western Europe, Scandinavia, New Zealand, Australia) are the ones where capitalism appeared and developed earlier than in other parts of the world. That boosted production, country strength and wealth and eventually allowed them to have colonies in other parts of the world. Owning some overseas land gave enormous economic advantages. Remember “British East India Company”, which at its peak of wealth had an army of 160 thousand soldiers (more than some counties had!). The importance of having colonies can be best illustrated by the simple fact – one of the core reasons of the WW I was the desire of Germany, who was late to the table, to have its share of a pie. And even though political power of metropolises over colonies seized in mid-XXth century, economic bounds stayed much longer. If, let’s say, a uranium mine in Uganda belongs to French company, then which country benefits more from it? And to what extent the modern wealth of Europe and North America is due to other parts of the world?
• I doubt that democracy and human rights priority are possible in every country of the world. This idea just occurred to me, so I did not dig deep into finding the proof, but mentality (to put it narrower – religion) could prevent the society from accepting ideas that are just natural for another society. There are some facts I immediately recall that support this idea.

a) Majority of Noble prize winners are from protestant countries. Disproportional majority if you look at country population or wealth or other factors. Why? Maybe because Protestantism urges its followers to read the Bible on their own, whereas in Catholicism you study Bible under the priest’s guidance. Encouragement for independent research must have some effect.
b) After the ancient Rome fell, and Europe lived through the Dark Ages, Arabian countries preserved much of knowledge and science. At that time Arabian East was much more cultural and civilized than Europe. What happened to them later, why they stopped developing science, how could Europe overtake them? One of the explanations is that at some point of time Muslim theologians declared that “Koran has everything”, so scientific research stopped. The legend says that under this slogan the Library of Alexandria has been burnt by Arabian conquerors.
c) There is an interesting correlation between the agricultural conditions in a certain territory and some national traits of character. That’s more than a coincidence. For example, wheat was the main crop in Europe. It doesn’t require any special irrigation, so you can well grow and harvest it alone. That means you are less dependent on other people. Hence smaller states (Germany before mid-XIX century consisted of dozens independent states), hence more independent opinions. Compare it to China. Rice requires serious irrigation works, you’ll never do it alone. In order to harvest rice, you need to organize a fairly large group of people to do a job together. And as the population grows, you need to perform those works at a larger scale, also because the easiest-to-work fields are already busy. As a result, we see that Chinese value the society more than they value an individual. A single person sacrificing his wishes for the good of the others is more acceptable for them than for Europeans.
This idea needs further thinking but it is quite possible that the liberalism and human rights developed in Western Europe to the extent we see due to a unique combination of religion, natural conditions and other factors. And it can’t be copied in other parts of the world. It can be brought to other parts of the world by immigration of people with European mentality, of course. But otherwise it can be done only by complete mentality change of local inhabitants. Not an easy task, could take generations and mean death of local culture.

1. All people are seeking freedom and democracy, so it is our duty to help them achieve this goal. If some part of the society resists this help, it is the tyrannical part and it should be eliminated.

Yeah, really. Take up the White Man's burden… This idea is not dead yet, with all its prejudices.
In some part such understanding is based on the theory that appeared in history (history as a science!) in the UK in 18th century. This theory states that the process of human society development over time is a) linear and b) goes through the same stages in every society of the planet. One of the consequences of this theory was the statement that every society started from matriarchate – researchers came across some primitive society, ruled by women, and made their conclusion. This theory has long been proved wrong, but its influence is still alive.
Even if we accept that all countries, all societies are aiming at maximizing human rights, how justified will interference be? Good intentions are the pathway to hell. How long it took Anglo-Saxon civilization to reach modern state of human rights? Setting the Magna Carts as the starting point, it is a bit over 800 years, roughly 30 generations. Looking at the world history, we see how slowly societies change their organizational forms, evolving one into another. And you can’t forcefully speed it up. Imagine that our modern “crusaders of democracy” take time machine and show up at Hastings early in the morning on October 14th, 1066. “William, Harold, there is no need to fight. You need to run democratic elections, and everything will be ok…” Will they even understand the idea??? And what will happen the next day after they are left alone?
You have shown significant interest in Russian culture. If you care spending some more time on Russian books, I’d recommend you brothers Strugatsky (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arkady_and_Boris_Strugatsky). The form of what they have written is science fiction, but the contents is all about ethics, morale, responsibility, conscience. Try «Escape Attempt», «Hard to be a God», «Overburdened with Evil».
Why I am mentioning them now is because among others they are exploring the topic of “progressors” – people from Earth of XXII century who try to speed up the history of other planets, to solve their problems, stop wars, etc. And it doesn’t end well. As one of their heroes says, “You can’t break up the natural course of history without breaking the spine of humanity.”
It’s hard to find examples of good revolutions when they are initiated from abroad. Change of regime should be supported by majority within the country – it is the guarantee that society is ready for it. What Anglo-Saxons and NATO frequently do is supporting the angry minority in its aspirations for power. And instead of peace, freedom and prosperity it brings chaos. The classic example is Libya. Over 10 years ago the country was “spared of Gaddafi’s tyrannical rule”… How do they live now? The GDP is still around 50% of what it used to be, the country is still not at peace, there are two major forces each claiming to be the legal power. How many lives it did cost already and how much time it will take free Libya to recover? Can such liberation be called anything but a disservice? In Russia we call it “bear’s help”. I don’t say that everything was good in the country when Gaddafi was alive, but aren’t they in the worse situation now?
The whole series of Arabian spring looks like a great mess, not a great success. I rely on the opinion of an expert – below is the brief translation of an article published in 2015-2016 by Mordechai Kedar, an Israeli scholar of Arab culture and a lecturer at Bar-Ilan University. I can’t find the original, unfortunately.
December 2015 was the fifth anniversary of the events known as an ‘Arabian spring’. The world applauded the heroes of the streets in Tunis, Egypt, Libya, Syria, Yemen, Bahrain. Now, five years ago, those countries are still battlefields, with no light ahead. What problems have prevented them from positive development? Most of them have developed over centuries and they still prevail in mentality, remaining the dangerous rudiment.

1. Tribalism*, that was always a survival factor in harsh natural conditions of the region. Now the conditions are different but mentality is still the same, when each person thinks of himself as a member of the clan first (family, tribe, tape, whatever…), not the citizen of the country.*
2. Violence*. Resources are scarce, so anyone who is not the member of my clan, is a deadly threat. And the first reaction to a threat is violence.*
3. Honour*, understood very specifically. Dishonoured person will seek revenge. It is not uncommon for a person to kill members of his own family if they dishonoured him. Honour is of primary importance in relations between countries and nations, sometimes more important than economics and healthcare.*
4. Nepotism*, which has its roots in tribalism. Promoting your relatives to administrative positions is illegal in the West, but is part of normal practice in the East.*
5. Corruption*. An office holder will invest in projects and regions where his tribe and supporters live, not otherwise. He feels financially responsible to his family, not to the country.*
6. Multiple ethnic groups*, which protect their own languages and traditions. Marriages outside of a group are rare, coexistence with other groups is tense and hostile.*
7. Islam*. Islamic extremists are sure that people who believe otherwise, are deserved to be killed.*
8. Sunnites vs*.* shiites*. This conflict started back in 7th century as a conflict for control over Islam. Non-Islamic people see them analogous to Catholicism vs. Orthodox church, but in reality now, after centuries of religious wars, these are two separate religions, and the dialogue between them is very difficult.*
9. Predominant culture*. Three main groups are Bedouins who live in deserts, fellahs who are the peasants, and inhabitants of the cities. Each group thinks stereotypically of other two, cross-marriages are rare.*
10. Country borders*. British, French and Italian administration have been drawn the borders straight, just by a ruler and a pencil, paying no attention to the real borders between various groups which differ by religion and ethnicity. People who never thought about themselves as about having anything in common, are now the citizens of one country. And they don’t feel it this way.*
11. Power change*. This is something which never happens peacefully in Arabic countries. The ethnic or religious group at power holds to it by all means.*
12. Israel*. Arabs and Muslims don’t acknowledge Judaism as a live religion, Jewish people as a people. So for them the very existence of Israel is illegal. Plus Israel is very convenient as an external enemy, a good target for the aggression of the masses.*
13. Oil has turned the countries of the Gulf into societies which don’t produce, but do consume without limits. The difference between wealth of the Gulf and poverty of other Arabian countries is shocking.
14. West that interferes into the region to solve its own problems. Oil, gas, weapons – all is targeted to use natural resources of Middle East.
15. Al Jazeera as a catalyst of social and religious unrest.

Throughout the XX-th century Europe tries to solve myriads of cultural problems of the Middle East, trying to create modern Arabic states that will fit Europe’s needs. The brightest example of Western misunderstanding of the East is the belief that Middle east can easily adopt democracy. Western democracy is based on western culture with equality of religious and social groups, minority rights, freedom of speech and opinions. Add to it religious freedom and free elections and you will get the list that is absolutely alien to Middle East.
Here’s an article by the same author on the same topic – https://fathomjournal.org/why-we-keep-getting-the-middle-east-wrong/
Here’s an interview with him – https://chicagopolicyreview.org/2015/07/28/americans-still-dont-understand-the-middle-east-this-man-wants-to-help/
In one of your interviews you discussed the competition between China and the US for influence in Africa. And your opinion was that China wins due to corruption of local elites. Let me offer another reason for your consideration. It is the same reason that allows Russia to gain influence in Middle East, Africa, South America. When China or Russia come to some country to cooperate, they come to cooperate, not to teach, not to judge, not to interfere into the internal affairs of the state. And people appreciate this.

1. We have the right to decide who is democratic and who is not.

This one is undoubtedly wrong. As a psychologist, you can diagnose it, I guess. What will you call such mental blindness, when a person considers himself flawless and assumes the right to judge and punish others, like in “The House of Pride” by Jack London. And here we see a group of countries that consider themselves the best in the world, that judge other countries and feel it righteous to interfere into their life, to change it without being asked. I understand why leaders of these countries have that blindness, but I wonder how many people in these countries actually understand that it is not a radiant crusade for democracy, but a destructive raid of Normans.
De furore Normannorum libera nos, Domine.
One of the principles of democracy is separation of three powers – legislative, judicial and executive. So why then countries that consider themselves “leaders of democratic world” forget about this principle in international relations. They make the rules, they judge and they punish.
One of American diplomats said recently that USA supports international rules-based order. Sounds good, sounds undoubtedly right. But why USA and NATO forget about the rules when it is convenient? Or is it “We support international rules-based order, but our own actions should not be limited by these rules”? What immediately comes to my mind without web search:

• Kosovo, 1999. Civil war or genocide or whatever it may be called. How it should have been handled according to the rules? UN Security Council makes the decision, ‘blue helmets’ move in and stop the hot phase of the conflict. How it was done? NATO forces moved in without UNSC mandate. Forget the rules.
• Iraq, 2003. USA and its allies invaded Iraq based on false claims that Saddam had mass destruction weapons. The Center for Public Integrity stated that the Bush administration made a total of 935 false statements between 2001 and 2003 about Iraq's alleged threat to the United States. International lies-based order?

Double standards
Speaking more about the rules… We are tired of seeing double standards. As an illustration, I will use just one aspect – the principle of integrity of the state vs the principle of the right of nations to self-determination. It looks like the West supports integrity of the state, when this state is allied or friendly to the West, and supports nation’s self-determination when the state is not. Let’s go through some examples.
- Chechnya (an autonomous republic within Soviet Union) wanted to become independent after 1991. It quickly started to use terrorism to achieve this goal. It took a lot of effort to stop the war and bring the region back to safety. Reaction of the West – support of chechens, their leader fled to London and was not deported to Russia despite all requests.
- Abkhazia (an autonomous republic within Georgian republic which was part of Soviet Union) wanted to become independent from Georgia when Georgia became independent from Russia. Resulted in a war. The conflict is still not solved. Abkhazia now is an independent state which is acknowledged by very few countries in the world. Reaction of the West – they still consider Abkhazia as a rebellious part of Georgia. Same situation about South Osetia – another region, that was an administrative part of Georgia until 1991 and that also seeks independence.
- Donetsk and Lugansk wanted to become independent from Ukraine after 2014 coup. Ukraine tried to subdue them by force and failed. Then the workplan has been signed in Minsk – what the parties of the conflict agree to do to settle. The result should have been – Donetsk and Lugansk return to Ukraine but have extended political rights, etc. Ukraine did nothing of its promises. Reaction of the West – support of Ukraine.
- Catalonia is seeking independence. And I remember that leaders of independence movement have been under political and criminal pressure.
- Scotland had a referendum about independence. And even though results were in favour of the UK, I remember how nervously London reacted.
Russia – NATO relations after 1991
This is best said by Vladimir Pozner, a journalist who spent years of his work in the USA, Russia, Europe and is one of the most known journalists of the old school (comparing to modern propagandists). Here’s the link to his speech in Yale University on September 27, 2018 – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X7Ng75e5gQ&t=2556s.
His speech takes around forty minutes, the rest is the Q&A. To save you time, I’d summarize it here in just a couple of phrases. After Soviet Union collapsed, there was an illusion that we aren’t enemies anymore, that the world is open now, and that we will be partners or even friends. Russia dismissed the Warsaw Treaty union and agreed for Germany to unite, that looked just right – why keep a military union when we aren’t enemies anymore? Sometime later Russia made an offer to join NATO to provide world security together and was denied. Russia offered to join the EU, and was denied. Russia was promised that NATO would not expand eastward and less than 10 years later this promise was broken. Since then, we’ve been witnessing NATO getting closer and closer to our borders, inviting countries that are our neighbours and aggressively supporting those candidates to country leadership in East Europe who declared anti-Russia views. So now the illusion is over. We are enemies. And what’s worse – we don’t trust US anymore, so negotiating some new principles of coexistence will be problematic.
Ukraine.
Briefly about history, in more details about recent times and present situation.
In 16-17th century the territory of modern Ukraine was controlled by two forces with no clear border between them. Northwest (where the city of Lvov is now) was under Polish rule, center and the region along river Dnepr – under control of “kazak military democracies” – gatherings of all people, who fled from Russia, Poland, Lithuania, Crimea and who with time formed Ukrainians as a nation. They were ruled by elected chieftains and made their living largely by either joining some military campaign for money and loot, or by robbery raids to Poland, Crimea, Turkey. They were allied to Russia due to same religion – Orthodox Christianity.
As Poland grew stronger, its pressure on the territory grew, which led to periodic rebellions. Poland is a Catholic state, and people of Orthodox Ukraine were severely oppressed. Seeking protection, Ukrainian chieftains asked Russia to include those territories into Russian state. First request came in 1591. Russia rejected this request and several others. Only in 1654 part of Ukraine, controlled by kazaks, was included into Russia. Consequences – war with Poland and tens of thousands orthodox people fleeing from Polish-controlled lands into Russian-controlled lands.
From then on Russians and Ukrainians were really ‘brother nations’. Well, it was not heaven, but it was the best available option. Same religion, very close language and mentality. And forget about oppression. Ukrainians were oppressed as much as Russians themselves.
When the WW I started, Germany and Austria-Hungary were looking for collaborators in occupied territories of Russian Empire. They promised independence to nationalists in Western Ukraine, and found people who bought the idea. Not surprisingly, the most dedicated nationalists came from the least developed region of the country. Ukraine did not become independent at that moment, but the ideas stayed and gave their fruit during WW II, when Ukrainian collaborators actively participated in Nazis’ crimes. In one of your videos you described what Unit 731 of Japanese army was doing and you warned your listeners that they will never forget it. If you will find and read witnesses’ accounts of Volhynia massacre, you will never forget it either. I read it once long ago and I never want to read it again. It was a shock to me that people are capable of such things.
In the period between 1945 and 1991 Ukraine had the same rights as any other republic. There were no impediments to preserving and developing local culture. If you lived in any republic, you learned two languages – Russian and local. National literature was actively translated into other national languages of the Soviet Union, there were no impediments to education. Soviet Union with all its flaws, really tried to unite all of its nations into one big family. (What surprises me though is why antisemitism remained. You could come from Georgia, Uzbekistan or Yakutia and pass exams to Moscow university, no problem if you are smart enough. But it could be problematic for a Jew…)
After 1991 Russia and Ukraine remained friendly states, tightly bound by economic, cultural and even family ties. Ukraine tried to get the most out of relations both with Russia and with the West and it worked fairly well for 30 years. But with time attempts to elevate significance of their own nation led Ukrainians down a dangerous path. They started to slowly eliminate all other cultures that were present in the country. This process sped up dramatically in 2014, when after a coup the nationalist forces gained influence on the government.
Official Kiev denies being nationalistic, but don’t trust what the person is saying, see what he is doing.

• Open Kiev map and you will find two prospects – one named after Bandera, another after Shukhevich. Those two stand behind Volhynia massacre and numerous other crimes. Now they are heroes.
• During WW II Ukrainian nationalists were gathered by Nazis into the division “Galicia”. Collaborators and traitors, they did not show much on the battlefield, but were always victorious in the punitive raids against civilians. Now they are heroes.
• Ukraine is banning and denying Russian language and Russian culture. And it did not start last year. It started much earlier, when bit by bit Russian-speaking people had more and more difficulties teaching their children in Russian, buying books in Russian. It even shows itself historically – famous writers, artists, musicians, etc. of the past are proclaimed Ukrainians if they were born or lived on the territory of modern Ukraine. Aivazovskiy was Armenian by nation, lived in Crimea which was Russian at the time. Repin was Russian, Kuingi was Greek. Gogol and Bulgakov called themselves Russian and wrote in Russian. Shevchenko wrote in Russian, and now his books in Ukraine are translated from Russian.

I live in Moscow region, so all these processes for me were just an echo of a far-away thunder. My friends who lived in Crimea, Kiev, Donetsks, Kharkov many times said how difficult it was to live in a country that is so obsessed with its own magnificence that it becomes absurd. Massive renaming of streets, destruction of monuments that signified joint Russian-Ukrainian history, rewriting of history, when traitors and criminals become heroes, heroes become butchers. Anne, daughter to Yaroslav the Wise, wife to Henry I of France is known as Anne de Russie or Anne of Kiev. But now there are attempts to call her Anne of Ukraine, even though the very term Ukraine appeared at least a hundred years after she died.
We see those nationalistic ideas demonstrating themselves in a number of ways, and we have seen them before and we know what threat they can bring if left unattended. Pay attention to a dragon when it is small, you may be unable to win when it grows up.
I don’t say that our perception is correct, I just say how we see it. And to us modern Ukraine is like a younger brother who joined a bad company and who is becoming dangerous.
Now combine these two. Ukrainian nationalism plus NATO. Two threats, one well known historically, another the most dangerous rival of the past 70 years. We see them uniting and it is really an existential threat to us. In such circumstances could we afford being blind to it, just sitting and waiting what comes next? We tried to settle it peacefully. Many times Russia said that we are worried by NATO expansion, that we are worried by Western support of nationalistic movements in our neigbour countries. No effect. The last attempt was made in autumn of 2021, when Putin offered a negotiation that should have resulted in guaranteed safety. No reply.
If there is a conflict and your rival refuses to talk, he is asking for a fight. I don’t say that war in Ukraine is the right way to solve the conflict, but who can say that we did not try to set it by negotiations?

Some important context: I (32M) previously spent a couple of years in a foreign country, where I learned to speak the native language to a high degree of fluency. When I returned to my home country, I continued taking online language lessons in that language to maintain the momentum (I’m still taking those lessons to this day, and my proficiency is very high).
Being able to speak the language allowed me to break into the small-ish community of individuals from that country who are based in my home country, and because of this I was able to make a very good friend (who I will refer to as ‘A’ (28M) from now on). A is honestly one of the most genuine and caring people I have ever met, and we instantly became good friends! The fact that he is also gay just gave us so much more to relate on and talk about. A has a boyfriend who lives in another country, and I’ve met him and really like the two of them! It’s probably worth adding that A and I have never had any romantic feelings towards each other. We view each other as brothers and that’s how deep our connection goes. A is disarmingly good-looking, but I’ve never been attracted to him because he’s always had a bf since I met him, and I don’t play like that.
3 months ago, I met someone from that same country I previously lived in on Grindr. I’ll call this person ‘B’ (30M). B had just moved to my home country. Of course we got to chatting right away, and things instantly got off to a great start. We met up the next day and had dinner together at a restaurant not far from where we both live (he lives in the same neighborhood as me), and then the following day we met up for drinks and he invited me over to his place, where we hooked up. The 2 months that followed were like something out of a movie. We worked out together (both like to do so), spent the days exchanging messages whenever we could between work, he invited me over and cooked dinner for me a couple of times, I showed him around my home country. We hooked up a lot, and cuddled even more. I introduced him to my friends, and my siblings, and everyone loved him… I must admit, it felt like I was on a rollercoaster, but I was so happy…
Given that he wasn’t able to make friends in my country that easily (other than his work colleagues), I decided to introduce B to my good friend A, so that he at least knows someone else who is (1) from his country and (2) gay. This, I thought, would allow B to at least have someone nearby to relate to if ever he felt homesick. Of course A was aware of everything that was happening between B and I, and he was genuinely happy for me and us.
So I went ahead and organized a coffee meet up for all 3 of us, which is where I was finally able to introduce A to B and B to A.
As soon as B laid his eyes on A I knew whatever B and I shared was over. It happened right in front of me, and I can’t explain what it was, but I felt it. Nonetheless, we all had a good time that afternoon, and they exchanged numbers at the end, and while I was driving B back to his apartment he casually mentioned how amazing A is, and how thankful he was that I introduced them.
What happened afterwards has really been a blur. B suggested that we start a group chat with just the 3 of us, just in case we ever want to make plans to hang out, but it actually just turned into B ignoring most of my messages in the group and just engaging with A whenever A said anything. I tried to resume our one-on-one text conversations outside of the group chat, but B, who was always engaging and social in texts before, gradually started taking longer to reply to me, and his replies got shorter and shorter. To the point where I eventually got ignored sometimes (but he would still respond to A in the group if A ever said anything). B knows that A has a boyfriend, so I convinced myself that he’s maybe just excited to know someone else from his home country in this new foreign place.
Then B started leaving flirty comments on A’s social media posts, and that’s when I could no longer deny that B was falling for A. It’s tearing me up so bad because there is nothing I can do about it. I’m practically ghosted at this point, but I’m still in the group chat and can see B sending all these messages to A (most of which A ignores at this point because I think he is also picking up on the vibe), but why can’t it be me like it was in the beginning? It just sucks because I really liked this guy and I’m not over him yet despite all of this… I’ve stopped trying completely, because I know when to cut my losses, but I’m staring to develop an inferiority complex and it’s affecting my overall sense of self…

Detroit is the largest city in Michigan, and while I'm not from there (which probably makes my opinion invalid), it looks like a very beautiful city to me.
There's just a certain feel or charm with the old skycrapers of Downtown, the big island city park of Belle Isle, New Center with it's automotive industry, Boston-Edison and Indian Village with their old money homes, Corktown and Mexicantown with their 19th century homes and iconic train station, the riverwalk that is often ranked best in the country, and Eastetn Market with their sheds filled with food and life. I could go on!
I think it also has a lot of history and culture and very prideful people of their city. With coney dogs, deep dish pizza, Motown Records, and popular sports teams like the Lions and Red Wings, the fact that its a very diverse city with African Americans, Polish, Irish, Germans, Jewish, Mexicans, Arabs, and many more living in or near Detroit!
I feel that Detroit could bounce back and be the next big city in 10-15 years like how Austin or Raleigh are, (hopefully with less displacement of the local population), with it having a borderline perfect location, and wouldn't be as affected by climate change as many southern cities.
In the main downtown area, a lot of development is going on, and is safer, walkable, and cleaner than many downtowns in the US.
It gets a bad rep due to its crime and blight, and while many of it is arguably deserved, it doesn't take away the fact that this city is a rusted pearl in the great lakes region.
Also fuck Cleveland

https://beforewegoblog.com/review-winter-tide-by-ruthanna-emrys/
WINTER TIDE by Ruthanna Emrys is a book that deserves more love. So, for Pride Month, I’ve decided to give it a review. The book ticks most of the boxes for what I love in fiction: not only is it an H.P. Lovecraft-inspired story but it is also something that reinterprets the Mythos for a modern audience. Like Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff or my own Cthulhu Armageddon, it’s a work which tackles HPL’s controversial elements head on and does something interesting with them.
In the case of Winter Tide, it is a sequel to the novella A Litany of Earth which was originally published on Tor’s website and is actually available at the back of the novel. I suggest readers who want to fully enjoy this work read both A Litany of Earth first as well as H.P. Lovecraft’s The Shadow over Innsmouth, which remains his most famous work as well as the work which this is a perspective flip as well as continuation of. This book can be read as a standalone but I recommend reading both, personally. Hell, I’d even suggest reading the novella at the back of the book first.
For those of you unfamiliar with The Shadow over Innsmouth, the premise is a young New England scholar heads to the titular town of Innsmouth. It is a decaying hellhole of a fishing village with the locals all looking grossly deformed with huge eyes, scaly skin, and frog-like bodies. Gradually, the protagonist discovers the Innsmouthers have been interbreeding with a evil race of fish men called the Deep Ones and worshiping the dread god Cthulhu. The protagonist calls the US government down on them and they’re all arrested before being herded into camps.
Ruthanna Emrys takes this rather horrifying ending, if you treat them as people rather than monsters, and makes a series about the camps’ (almost) sole survivor. In this universe, the Deep Ones were just a peaceful aquatic race which was unfairly maligned by both H.P. Lovecraft’s protagonist as well as the US government. The same camps which held Japanese Americans during WW2 contain the leftovers of the Innsmouth Raid. Aphra is traumatized by the event and simply wants to get on with her life–but the US government isn’t done with her.
Aphra Marsh’s story is basically the H.P. Lovecraft version of Wicked where up is down, black is white, and the Mythos is good rather than evil. The US government hideously wronged Aphra and her people but have the gall to want her help in dealing with magical matters. Magic isn’t evil in this universe but it’s not “safe” either and plenty of humans are messing with forces which could end up destroying the world by accident. So, Aphra, heads off to join an FBI team trying to find a Russian spy in Miskatonic University.
The book advertises itself as a spy thriller but it’s mostly a drama about Aphra coming to terms with the appropriation of her people’s books and cultural artifacts by Miskatonic University. She has to go to New England in order to look at her people’s own work and request them from the library which stole them. Meanwhile, she also has to deal with a variety of personages who want to take her religious practices then remove all context from them in order to make a purely scientific form of magic.
I found these elements of the book very timely with things like Trevor Noah talking about how museums in Europe refuse tor return African art taken during the colonial era as well as things like Mindfulness that attempt to remove all Buddhism from Buddhist practices. Some of this is intended by Ruthanna Emrys while other is just happy coincidence I’m sure. The book is never preachy but is definitely written from the perspective of a minority coping with having her culture turned “trendy.” It makes me wonder what she’d think of Cthulhu slippers since he’s their version of Jesus.
I liked the eccentric cast of characters which the author assembles around Aphra Marsh. Spector is a true blue Captain America sort of patriot but you have to wonder if he realizes just how much he’s re-opening old wounds in his attempt to make amends for his country’s crimes. Professor Turnball is a delightful character and I liked the slow revelations about how her relationships (like her maid that the Great Race of Yith drove off). Barlow and his team of idiot FBI magicians also served as fun antagonists, even if I sympathized with them more than I should have. It reminded me a bit of a Mythos version of Agent Carter but with less action and more melancholy.
Does the book have any flaws? Well, I’m going to be remiss if I didn’t say the book is sometimes a bit on the slow side. There’s also the fact Aphra Marsh is not particularly interested in finding out the identity of the Russian spy in Miskatonic University’s library. She gets around to it eventually but there’s never a confrontation or dramatic payoff. Instead, she’s sidetracked by her “fellow” FBI agents and visiting Innsmouth for the first time in years. For those wanting Aphra to get involved in spywork, it’s a bit of a disappointment. This is a small flaw, however. One simply needs to understand what sort of book this is.
There’s also the fact this is a love letter to Lovecraft (Cthulhu, Deep Ones, geometric magic) but not necessarily Lovecraftian (scary unknowable dread) despite its use of the characters. To invoke my Wicked comparison above, this is not a book about how the Mythos is particularly scary to anyone but people who see cosmic insignifigance as a sanity blasting thing by itself. Both the religious and arreligious both have often taken the view mankind is a small thing and this is a book where HPL’s creatures are merely weird rather than terrifying. You’ll appreciate this book more if you know the Mythos inside and out but also have to leave your prejudices the cult of Cthulhu eats babies at the door. Aphra isn’t about to find out her people were secretly evil all along like some HPL protagonists did.
Pride Month wise, this is both a book by a LGBT author as well as something that is sprinkled with a cast full of gay. Aphra herself is somewhat ambiguous in her sexuality with the author she’s a asexual woman who has lesbian romantic tones. This quality which, sadly, she is blind to the feelings of her companion regarding her. The FBI agent assisting Aphra is also deeply closeted, understandably so given the time period and his place of employment.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this book and I think your enjoyment will be affected by how much you know (and love) H.P. Lovecraft while also being willing to put up with some good-natured criticism of his concepts. Aphra and the Deep Ones are a bit too nice at times but still likable characters. Besides, you don’t want to give them any sorts of characteristics that might make the treatment of them seem justified (especially when drawing parallels to real life history). It’s, overall, an extremely entertaining novel and good scifi.

In America, it is very standard and normal to ask for substitutions or changes to you meal to cater it to your tastes. This is something i do almost every time I eat out as having AFRID often means that in the list of things contained in a meal, i have problems eating at least 1 of the things. Usually i can find a meal where 90% of it works for me, and then I sub out that 10% or ask for it to just be taken out. In America, the answer to any request ive made had always been “yes of course no problem.” However, i have been abroad many time and this is an issue i run into frequently where I am told no.
For example, i am in Ireland right now and couldnt my meal. I have a problem with chunky sauces and the only meal that contained my safe foods came topped (not tossed) in this type of sauce. I asked if it would be possible to get the meal without the topper and to get a different sauce listed on the menu on the side. The waiter said “no.” That was it just a flat no. I just said oh ok and then tried to pick around it when the meal came but really only ended up eating a bit or two.
Of course I understand I am used to a different standard and that when I am not in my home country I dont have any right to impose this standard. But at the same time it’s difficult to go weeks and barely be able to eat in that time. So im curious, what do yall do when abroad to still be able to eat or what advice do you have for me? (Its worth mentioning im traveling with other ppl so i dont have full say on what restaurants we go to. Also the hotel does not have a kitchen or a fridge so going grocery shopping and cooking for myself would be difficult)